Today, just a moment ago, after 2-3 years as a shut-in (over wich I've been supposed to be doing something at home, that I haven't) my aunt gave me... you know... the talk.
One of my uncles, her elder brother, is now old, sick and unemployed, so he frequently call her to ask for help, for some money, to keep on holding; she told me that, last night, she just realized that I am, as I am now, right into that path of future helplessness, and got terrified. She told me that she loved me and didn't wanted to push me, but she was now sick worried so she had to tell this to me now (also, because she didn't wanted to say this to me in front of my mother, who is out right now, not to worry her); because -of course- she doesn't know when she and my mom are going to die and well, my sister has her humble but stable job already, and I, apart from the little thing I'm -hardly- doing and wich shall end the next year or so, I have nothing: no plan, no savings (as I spend everything in collectibles), no expectations for the future and certainly no current will at all to re-gain any of those.
She ask me to do what I'm supposed to do already; to activate myself, to stop living as an oldman doing Haruhi knows what on my computer all day and night, and look for my own future; to put order in my room and my life... in short: to wake up, get a grip, regain the will for pursuing something more, something new, to close this stage already and move on...
I just nodded, slightly...
And that's it; that's all I wanted to say, here and now. Image somehow related.