Elementary school: I was popular

Middle School: I had no friends at all and kept to myself, and people fucked with me all the time.

High School: I made one friend, but he dropped out in our senior year. Again, I mostly kept to myself but barely anyone fucked with me. I had a few acquaintances who would invite me to parties and stuff, but due to social anxiety and not giving a shit about any of them I always refused. I didn't go to my senior prom, nor did I go to any "senior activities" (zoo trip, bowling, etc) since school was technically over and I'd rather have a quiet day at home than go do things with people I never want to see again.

>>2348
Consecutive bullying from grades one to nine (due primarily to social retardation and odd behaviour), and then I skipped class all the time and avoided people to play Starcraft during school in high school.

In high school, I sat at a table with two girls and some guy, and we all copied off of each others papers on assignments (I would have no problems doing it on my own but I'm lazy, you know). One day, I get a "see me after class" on a paper, and the teachers tells me she won't give me credit because the two girls said I was cheating off of them (basically they decided to fuck me over for no reason). The next day they sat a different table, and for the rest of the year their (and the other guy, who went to sit with them) grades dropped like a stone while mine improved, and they ended up failing the class. Also, by the end of the year they were both pregnant.

A mixed bag to say the least. Very popular in elementary school, a kinda lone wolf figure in middle school (but still respected and liked among peers), completely ignored during high school.

>>2352
That teacher, by the way, really didn't like me for some reason. There was a blackout once, and when I asked to go the bathroom she made me leave my backpack in the room. That school was about as shitty and ghetto as you can get, so leaving a backpack unattended is a big no-no. Of course, I do what she says and when I come back somebody had stolen the calculator out of one of the pockets (they probably thought it was a cell phone or something).

She would also make people buy latex gloves for science stuff for 50 cents a pair if they didn't bring their own, saying "she needs the money to buy more gloves" even though all the gloves she gave out were given to her by students for extra credit.

I didn't do work. Most of what was assigned to us was optional and our grades were based primarily on tests. I'd briefly look over stuff at like 3AM the night prior to an examination and pass with 90s. School was incredibly easy.

Socially I felt free and just did whatever I wanted - some days I talked to people, other days I didn't. It really depended on how I felt at the moment but generally I'd remain pretty reserved. I knew quite a few people from varying groups/whatever and never tied myself down to any single one.

>>2356
Yes I was like that too. I hardly worked and got very good grades. My ego got inflated to dangerous sizes. Then came university. You actually have to work to get a >90 grade. I got broad side school fed up the bone bulge.

Primary school:
Lots of trouble making friends; no one ever got along with me. Brought excessive bullying upon myself because of my shit social skills. Kids would always say that I'm obsessed with Mario, because I was desperately trying to find common ground with videogames.

8th grade onwards:
I subconsciously realized that socializing is not something I'm capable of, so I began refusing to talk to people which made things so much easier. Then work got too difficult and I didn't do it, so they kicked me out.

> How did kids/teachers act around you?
"Why don't you ever talk?" over and over again. Only one time I responded honestly with, "I have nothing to say". "Well, you NEED to talk." Fuck off. All I need are four walls and adobe slabs. Oh, and everyone was jealous of the fact that I slept all day.

People really should mind their own business.

Oh man.

-Elementary: Bullied and got my things stolen several times. Sucked a dick and I don't remember why. I was prohibited to play videogames or watch pokemon. Had only one friend. During a party some tried to stick his finger in my ass. I thought a lot about suicide.
Perfect grades due to helicopter parents.

-Middle: I made 3 "friends" but had to stop talking to them because bullying. I got along with a sweet girl but she got raped and pregnant, never saw her again. Another girl that liked me (a bit ugly but whatever)died in an accident. Bullies used to hold me and play "rape" while screaming stuff like "I'm ejaculating!" and laughing. Professors made fun of me if I was serious or if I talked. I tried to commit suicide but I failed.
Average grades.

-High: Moved out of the state and could only get on a ghetto HS. I was very quiet and serious but surprisingly I made a lot of friends; nerds, popular girls, jocks, skaters, gamers. My nickname was "the boss" because I guess I looked like someone from the mafia.
I still have problem believing it but it was nice.
They made a party when it was my birthday and I didn't even told them the date, they actually cared for me but I was to awkward to notice. An asian girl was interested in me. It was like if we could understand each other for all the shit we went through.
I regret being so asocial and I wish I could have got along better with them.
Best damn grades of my entire school.

-College: Lost contact with everyone, about to drop out due to my shitty grades, depression and anxiety.

Sorry for the wall of text but holy shit, now that I typed that out I can't believe how fucked my life was. Thanks for making this thread OP.

I had to leave school 7 years ago because of social anxiety disorder. I have not socialized since in the least bit.

Elementary Years: Bullied, ignored, sexually molested a few times. Got called a "loner" in front of 90% of the school (that's like 500 kids).

Junior High School: Managed to make a couple friends through my geeky interests. We'd play video games together and walk to school together, but that's about it.

High school: Started out very apprehensive. Eventually made a couple "friends" but that did not last more than a week or two. I spent my free time (lunch hours) in the library browsing the internet alone, until I finally got banned due to hacking passwords. I quit school 2 years in and finished up my diploma online.

College: Stuck to myself, never made any friends, never wanted any either. Lived in Osaka, Japan for the last year of school because of the degree I was getting (journalism). Moved home, and have not done anything.

A major thing in my school life was my utter lack of sexual interest in real people. In high school people were always worrying about relationships and shit, and all I wanted to do was get home and watch Haruhi and play some Sims.

I usually had a 'yearly friend' in elementary. That was just because I was terrified of being alone in my classes, though. The teachers always called me "bright", and I hated that, because I always took it as just a way to get away with saying I'm not smart without hurting my feelings.

Middle school sucked (I played the part of a "clown" to make friends for the first two years), but 8th grade, I met some of the people I consider "friends" to this day (at the very least, I try not to push their contact away completely). The apathy started kicking in around 8th grade as well.

High-school, I was simply ignored. Even if I said anything. In freshman year, it was kind of funny, how shocked everyone was whenever I opened my mouth to speak. But when freshman year ended, people just stopped caring. That's when I just stopped showing up - I went on my own schedule for a while. But, then, people started caring when I started showing up. It took about 3 years of high school to realize that I didn't really give a shit about my education, and would probably not relate to another person face-to-face in my life.

Teachers, I don't think they minded me. Most of the time, I was relatively quiet and obedient. I felt awful and sad most of the time, though. It seemed, to me, that I was just wasting their time.

My grades were laughably bad. Every time I got my report card, all I could do was laugh at the grades. It just seemed too ridiculous. Everyone blamed it on the fact that I never did homework, but most of the people I knew got away with C's and B's at least (with minimal homework, at most). The fact that I never seemed to succeed, no matter how much effort I put in at school (when I actually went, mind you), only added to my apathy.

I was never really bullied, but I always felt as though being ignored is merely a step above. Then again, maybe it was my fault? I never put in the effort to make a connection to other people. Ah, well, fuck it.

Sorry for writing such a TL;DR.

>>2367
> Sorry for writing such a TL;DR.
nah bro the more words the better!

Elementary/middle: Bullied like crazy, coasted through school easily with no effort but getting good grades, a few friends.

High: Bullied by peers less, but family picked up the slack and made things a ton worse. Lost my friends and never got new ones. No effort put into school so my grades slipped some.

College: Depression/anxiety/autisting while living on-campus plus extra hard coursework (math and programming) led me to just stop going to classes so I flunked out. I later went back for a worthless "soft science" degree and passed. No friendships or social contacts throughout.

I had to live with a roommate in a tiny little dorm room my first semester of college. I wager that it was somewhere around as shitty for him as for me.

Elementary: had one friend each year for the first few years, but around 4th grade I just became too socially incompetent and anxious. Got all As because it was just a shitty public school.

Middle: Went to a partially "magnet" school. Had one friend in 7th and 8th grade, but I wasn't his best friend or anything (well, he was my best friend but I don't think he held as much significance in me). More mixed grades though still generally good, except in math where I got consistent Cs or worse.

I also punched a kid in 7th grade. I don't even remember why now. Just that it was such a wimpy punch that they didn't even report it.

High: A fully advanced/magnet school. Being around a bunch of kids who were objectively smarter than me, and more socially successful,
made me feel fucking subhuman. I missed a ton of days, basically the maximum you can and not get kicked out. Mediocre grades, As only in trivial classes, everything else Cs or worse. I'd completely blow off doing major projects, and feel terrible about it the whole time, but still couldn't bring myself to do my work. Graduated w/ a low gpa and having become a complete social recluse.

My friend from middle school even went to the same high school as me, but I got so nervous after not seeing him over the summer that I couldn't talk to him anymore. He didn't seem to mind.

I never really got bullied. Just picked on a little. Smartasses who ironically pretend to be your friend and then laugh right in your face, or try to scare you. But not actually bullied.

And I still haven't gone to college. My parents actually encouraged me to "take a year off". I don't know if they actually think I'll end up going or if they've realistically given up hope.

>>2370
My plan was to "take a year off", but this may it will be my 3rd year.

Elementary school: Fairly well-liked. Many kids liked me because I'm kind and funny, and the teachers liked me because I worked hard. I was picked on a bit, but it didn't get really bad until around 5th grade.

Middle School: Universally disliked/hated for no reason. Even if someone had never met me, they would still hate me, because everyone else told them to. All the friends I thought I had turned on me, and even some of the teachers (one in particular) seemed to make it their life's goal to make me miserable. It took me three years to finally convince my mom it wasn't going to get better, and I should be put in private school.

High School: One of the most popular kids in the grade fuck year

College: Same, except all my friends have either left the school or will be leaving at the end of the year. The only friend who will be coming back has a hell of a commute, so I can't hang out with him as much as I'd like to.

>>2371
Think that's what I'll do as well. Since I can't imagine going to school after being away for so long now.

If my parents don't approve, well, guess I can always kill myself.

More stories from my awful high school:

In my junior year there was a kid in my class who always gave me trouble, and eventually I told the teacher about it. She didn't do anything other than say "stop" around twice a day before doing nothing. So I told my Mom who got in touch with my teacher, and the kid was transferred out of that class. A few days later he walks up to me and asks "why i snitched on him to my mom", which means the fucking teacher told him all about it.

In my senior year, a kid on the football team got MRSA. Now, the standard procedure in that instance is to send out letters informing parents that a student at the school had a highly contagious possibly deadly disease, but oh no this was a football player! Reporting it could mean he won't be able to play anymore! So, the principal and coaches decided to keep it under wraps. My health class teacher would have none of that shit, and basically made them do what they were supposed to and report it. The principal responded by getting rid of health class and firing him when the year was over.

In elementary school I was an annoying cunt who was eventually pushed into special ed for behavioral issues; I was given the opportunity to go to a school for students with hopeful futures but declined because I didn't want to do extra homework

In middle school I was probably even more annoying and hurt or ostracized the friends I had managed to make in elementary school

High school I was less annoying but more passive-aggressive to people until I dropped out because I was scared of strangers and didn't want to do homework

And now in community college I'm still a brainless failure with no social skills and even LESS emotional control and am probably failing all of my classes

>>2374
So many of my familiar thought processes end with that.
reminds me of that Nietzsche quote: "The thought of suicide is a great consolation; by means of it one gets through many a bad night."

Elementary school: Can't really remember. Friends changed pretty much every year. Starting in fourth grade I started hanging out with some kids and we became the popular crowd.

Middle school: First year continued hanging out with the cool kids, though I was still a nerd. Halfway through my second year I decided to start hanging out with a group of nerds instead, and hung out with them my third year as well.

High school: Freshman year hung out with the same handful of nerds. Sophomore year a few of them moved away and I grew apart from the remaining one. I became friends with two guys who had just moved to town and would become the best friends I ever had. They were the only ones I really considered friends, but around that time I started going to some parties and drinking so I was on pretty good terms with most of the people in my grade. Junior year I became more withdrawn from people for some reason, and just hung out with my two friends. In my senior year one of them started avoiding us for no reason, then the other one did as well, so by about halfway through the year I had no real friends.

I pretty much always had some friends throughout school, but never a ton. I was occasionally bullied for no real reason, but it was always transient and never severe. Most kids around me probably just saw me as the smart kid who was somewhat funny. I lived in a small town, about a thousand people, so my class was really small and most of us had known each other most of our lives. Teachers always liked me for some reason, probably because I did well in class but wasn't a suck-up/over-achiever.

College: Moved halfway across the country. Stayed in a dorm the first year. I became friends with all the guys on my floor and had some great times. But I didn't go to any parties, I had stopped drinking, so I didn't make any friends outside of my dorm. The next year I moved off campus and no longer had much contact with the people from my dorm, probably because I didn't try to stay in touch and spent all of my free time in my apartment in my room doing the weeaboo stuff I had picked up as a hobby that summer while back at home. And that's how the rest of my college life passed. In Japanese class a Chinese guy went out of his way to befriend me, and we still go out for drinks like once a month. He's the closest thing I've had to a friend for the last few years.

Preschool: Only including this to be complete. Absolutely loathed it. Cried every time my parents drove me there. Once smashed a teacher in the face with a metal tray, severely injuring her. I don't really remember that, though.

Elementary: Sullen, withdrawn, and never really socialized. Always near the top of the class, though. Regularly got sent home for being unruly. Constantly belted when I got home. Physically and verbally abused, yay.

Middle School: Coasted through. Never applied myself, made a couple of acquaintances, and one true friend.

High School: I was the weird kid. I openly talked about "difficult" subjects as if it weren't anything special. Most classes I attended weren't with anyone I would consider a friend, so I would quietly get my work done, and read a book when finished. The popular normals treated me with a measure of respect because I was "smart," sarcastic, and never gave a fuck. Also helped that I usually towered over them.

I guess my school life was fairly normal compared to everyone else.

Primary school (5-12) - For the first two or three years I hung about with a guy I knew in preschool. We drifted apart, and I became friends with someone else who had just moved to the town. I'm still good friends with him today thanks to our interests in humour, video games and music, although he doesn't know my power level and still goes to school as opposed to me who dropped out and hasn't done anything since.

High school (12-16/18) - Was still good friends with the previously mentioned guy. In high school the most that happened to me was name calling and occasionally being tripped, although it still led to me not liking people that much. I couldn't be arsed going to school, and couldn't be arsed with the teachers nor the pupils, and especially couldn't be arsed sitting in a room with people I hated half asleep as the teacher tried to teach us french or some shit.

I got annoyed by the simple patterns of going to school, and wondered how everyone could stay so happy and awake, and get the motivation to do things like a huge essay on some shakespear play or something. I started to get really annoyed by shit like the person next to me breathing loudly or fidgeting, I really wanted to hit them for mere things like that.

So from the first year of high school to the fourth year (when I left at 16), I progressively got worse and worse at everything. I skipped school sometimes in first year, and by fourth year I was skipping one or two days a week, and just not going to classes that I couldn't be bothered with, like English or Physics.

One day when I went to English, I got pulled up not only for skipping it every day for the last week, but that I hadn't done any of the 5 required pieces that were ment to be finished throughout the year, and sent away to the SQA (exam place in Scotland). I got sent to the teacher that was the head of my year and stared blankly as he asked me why I hadn't been doing anything. I didn't really have a reason, the stuff wasn't that hard. Laziness just seemed to govern my entire life. So for the next week (the same week as the folios containing all 5 pieces were to be sent away), I got watched like a hawk in the class as I done the five most half assed essays of all time, largely by plagiarizing and changing some phrases so it wouldn't come up on google if they tried to search with parts of it.

There were some people who I sort of hung around with. There was one guy who I met in the first year. I never particularly liked him, he was loud and was dead set on doing well in the future and was interested in 3DPD. Yet he still routinely tried to go to lunch with me and talk to me about shit I didn't care about, even though I (a miserable unlikable cunt), visibly could not be fucked with any of his shit. There was also another guy who I got to know because he played the same games as I did, although he disappeared and changed into an entirely different person thanks to the influence of trying to be a normalfag.

To summarize, fuck people. School was shit, I hated it. I haven't done anything since and i'm happier now than ever. I sleep 12 hours a day, then waste the rest on my PC watching anime and playing video games. And I hope it stays this way.

Sorry for an enormous wall of text, I hope it wasn't too much of a drudgery to read.

Ugh school was always a living hell for me.

During elementary I had no friends and everyone treated me like shit. I got bullied constantly to the point I stopped going constantly in grade 4. I would miss at least 3/4 days a week with parent permission, and I'd usually just walk the streets for the other two days. In JR High I met a few people with that I hanged around with on the days I went to school, but then they would basically follow me home and ruin my shit. Once they even played darts in my basement, hitting everything but the board on purpose.. Everything. Took quite a bit of time to patch it all up, but eh what can you do when they're the only people that will give you any kind of contact?

High school was worse, but I was able to skip a lot easier and I could avoid most of the people who would make a scene with me for most of my classes. With the exception of my final year, in which I ended up dropping out a few credits short of graduating.

Hell over the last six years, my attendance was probably around 25% on average. How I never got kicked out is beyond me. Most teachers either treated me like trash with the exception of a few. Some would question the attendance but never bothered me about it past once or twice.



>The teachers always called me "bright", and I hated that, because I always took it as just a way to get away with saying I'm not smart without hurting my feelings.


This right here makes so much sense its not even funny. Hell a lot of people make comments like this about me even to this day.

School was easily the thing I hate the most, I love learning but I fucked myself over so hard with what I did. I can't even blame the assholes for being assholes, I can only blame myself for fucking up so god damn much.

Fuck

Primary School: I was a total cry baby. Was bullied because I looked and dressed different. Was friends with the "cool" dude that everyone liked, lived in his shadow for those years.

Middle School: Was bullied until the last grade, went through every teenage phase in weeks. Self-mutilation started. Started liking anime.

High School: Nobody messed with me anymore. School is easy, skipped school almost everyday, nobody knew me enough to become friends with me, had a close group of friends that shared the same ideals and hobbies. Very fun.

I believed those should be the best years of my life, and they were terrible. I felt awfully guilty for wasting my time with suffering.

I was pretty much always the "transfer kid" since I moved about 7 times from gr1~12. Add that to my shyness and I pretty much never had friends once my classmates weren't just children who'd befriend anyone. I was always jealous of kids who had best friends all the way back from grade 1. High school surprisingly turned out well for me as I went from eating lunch by myself in the washroom to becoming semi-popular.

Overall, I'm just glad I never was bullied or had to deal with shit like that.

If school years look weirs it's because I'm not from the U.S.A., also excuse if my grammar isn't very good. Numbering is a rough estimation of my age then.

Pre-school (4-5): No memories and I don't think I managed to make even one friend.

Elementary (6-14): Almost no memories on the first four years, although I somehow managed to fail the first year by playing with pen, sharpener and rubber instead of paying attention.

After those the next two years or I had a small number of friends, one became so because I was gullible and took in all his bullshit stories, the other was a geek like me and we had some fun.

Last two years I had some other small niche of friends, all left by the end of elementary.

During the sixth year, if I remember correctly, there were some incidents of bullying, the biggest one being where I misworded a phrase in a silly way while talking to one guy, and it spread and from time to time or when they saw me they chanted such phrase, that was terrible.

And I also fucked up twice, both times during the 7th grade, by for some weird reason blowing up and punching someone who then was a friend, and also by causing a shortcircuit during a class in the laboratory.

High School (15-17): First year I made friends with two classmates that transferred from another class, generally a swell year other than my grades going down.

On the second year both of them transferred, during that year I only talked to another geek-y guy in class, top grades in exact sciences.

On the third year I had to move to another state, I didn’t mix well at well with the class and made no friends.

University (18-20): I spent half of the first year being a NEET, and then I got into my preferred major, some acquaintances I do some papers or lab work with, but still no actual friends or motivation.

Most professors always seemed to like me, since I always look part of the earnest & serious student. One exception being my biology class teacher during 7th grade, you can guess why.

To classmates I probably always looked like the quiet studious weirdo.

Well, it feels nice to be able to talk about my bad memories of school life.

Elementary: Pretty good. Other kids actually liked me because I was smart and good with computers. Sometimes I would get invited to the higher-grade classrooms to participate in science labs.

Middle school: Blew ass. In addition to moving to a new city, I was diagnosed with autism, and with that came a ton of unneeded special treatment and the associated stigma. I was bullied constantly for the first year. After that, the administration stopped "helping" me and I could finally get along with others decently. I made a few friends, but it felt like they didn't like having me around, so I left them.

High school (first two years): Wasn't good, but not as bad as middle school. I was emotional and cynical then, and became obsessed with the Columbine shooting. I wanted to repeat it so badly, even though it was obvious that I couldn't. Normals approached me all the time; what they wanted from me was unknown, but despite their friendly demeanor it didn't look like they had good intentions. I began keeping a diary and used my new high-speed connection to explore the Internet.

High school (last two years): Best years of my life. With my little emotional period over, I felt more intelligent than ever. I took some computer science courses and made true friends. I had no car, though, so the only times I got to see these people were during class and after school. With my new friends, I could hang around people and not have to worry about being bugged by normals.

College: Currently in my second semester. I'm wanting to drop out because I find all this work pointless. Maybe I'll find another way to work as a programmer.

In high school I would have panic attacks when my time to drive in drivers ed would come up. I feel so nervous while driving that I am honestly surprised i didn't throw up

My school life was all over the damn place. It was like somebody or something just wanted to fuck with me without reason or purpose, and so my whole school life was basically a roller-coaster ride with more twists and turns than a mountain road in the north of Scotland. Hell, I don't even know where to start explaining all this.

Well, I suppose I'll start from Primary school. I never really had anybody that I considered a "friend", most probably because I never liked being around people very much even back then. It just seemed like a waste of time to me when I could be spending my time reading or doing other things on my own.
In complete contrast to this, every person in the school considered me one of their "friends". All the way from my very first year to my very last year, every single person in the school considered me their "friend". Even some of the teachers. I never wanted to be around them, but for some crazy reason or another, everyone wanted to be around me.
So I breezed through Primary school easily. The work was simple and I always found it too easy, so I'd grow bored in class and just sit staring off into space until the bell rang and I could go back home.

High school was much the same, and honestly I can't say I was too happy about that. No matter where I went anybody and everybody knew who I was, people I had never met before knew my name and called themselves my "friends", to the point where I couldn't even walk down the street without running into somebody who recognized me.
On the other hand, because of this anyone who would otherwise be in a position to bully me already considered me a "friend" of theirs, and those who didn't were inevitably friends with one of the aforementioned bullies and so wouldn't touch me anyway. I guess I got lucky in that regard, though I still didn't like being around people at all.
Gradually I got bored of... well, everything really. I got bored of the classes because they were too easy, I got bored of the people who called themselves my "friends" because we had nothing at all in common and therefore nothing to ever talk about (and yet, somehow, they always found a way to strike up a conversation with me anyway, much to my dismay), and I just basically got bored of living the same empty, repetitive life day after day which I at some point had realized was heading ultimately nowhere.

Around this time I started to skip school a lot. I'd lay in bed all day every day and just stare at the ceiling for hours on end, sometimes listening to music, sometimes just thinking about anything and everything. This continued until my mother grew concerned about me and took me to see a doctor, who then said I had something called "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome". I was then put on fucking powerful antidepressants which kept me knocked out for hours at a time, and this led to the point where I would be asleep for 20 hours every day, and would only ever wake up to get food and water and to go to the toilet. Those pills fucked me up to the point where I started having hallucinations and became depressed enough to try to kill myself not once, but twice. Eventually I stopped taking the pills and just decided to go back to school, since there was no way it could be worse than what I had been through on those pills.
Though I decided to go back, I ended up breaking my right arm while playing football for one of my classes and couldn't write anything until it healed. By the time that healed I had gotten so used to not writing anything that I just didn't feel like writing anymore. It used to be easy but now it actually required physical effort just to put my pencil to paper.

This was where everything went to hell, and things started happening one after another. First my right lung collapsed while I was at school one day, I had to be rushed to hospital to have it re-inflated and very nearly died that day. They took an x-ray while I was at the hospital and discovered I had pneumonia in my lungs. They said they were lucky they caught it early and prescribed me some medication for it.
Around this time I became very bored and depressed and was put on antidepressants again, though a different kind from before. They had pretty much the same effect as the last one minus the vivid hallucinations. Kept me knocked out most of the time and fucked up my mind beyond repair, it was around this point I became very paranoid and was convinced that all doctors and hospitals were out to try and kill me.
A month or so later I got a call from the doctor saying that my spine was bent at a 45 degree angle and I would need an operation to straighten it. By this time I was technically starting my fourth year in high school, even though I hadn't actually been a single time in the past 8 months. So winter rolled around and I went in for my operation, and I have to say recovering from that was the single most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life. My back was so sensitive that even the slightest movement would cause excruciating agony for me, and it definitely didn't help that I caught the cold and had hiccups both at the same time which both lasted most of the way through the first week while my back was at its most painful. I was put on morphine and kept drugged-up most of the time so thankfully I don't remember very much about that beyond the pain I suffered through.

It took two months before I was back on my feet and walking again. Still on morphine at this point by the way, beautiful stuff that was. I still couldn't go back to school because walking was still painful, but I could at least move around more easily than before. Two more months went by with me just sitting in my room on the computer the whole time, not leaving my room even once except to get water or go to the toilet (my mother brought my food up to me, so I didn't have to worry about that). After four months being shut up in my room and on my computer I had grown very attached to this comfortable lifestyle. It was like heaven for me, with the exception of the torturous back pain.
Eventually I recovered enough to be able to return to school. My fourth year was almost over and I hadn't been there for even a single day of it so far. I tried pretty hard to get back into the rhythm of waking up, going to school, coming home, then going to sleep, but I had grown so used to my lazy, carefree life that I just couldn't find the motivation any more. Add to that the fact that being shut up in my room had made me incredibly anxious being around people for even the shortest amount of time, and that about makes up my reasons for dropping out of high school.

Jump forward a few years and you have me as I am today. Haven't left my house even once since then, and I've grown far too attached to this life to even consider changing it at this point. Even I get lonely and depressed every now and then, but hey that's what Prozac is for, right?
Sorry for the absolutely massive wall of text, if anybody even bothered to read all of that. But you know I just feel like, after my high school life which was effectively a living hell for me, I've earned my rest. I feel like I've earned it, you know?

Elementary: Went fine, I suppose. I don't remember much from those years.
Middle: Bullied, ended up not giving a fuck in the end.
High: Due to my apathy building over the years and school skipping, my grades dropped and so I dropped out due to the inability to pass even the simplest of tests.

>>2396

I can relate to so many things you wrote about.

>No matter where I went anybody and everybody knew who I was, people I had never met before knew my name and called themselves my "friends", to the point where I couldn't even walk down the street without running into somebody who recognized me.

I thought I was the only one. Whenever I left my house I bumped into someone who knew me. People greeted me left and right and I knew none of them. My memory was still fine back then, though. Once a girl I could actually call a friend (well not really, but we were in the same class at least) told me that the other day when she mentioned which school she goes to someboedy immeadiately asked if she knows me. She never told them which class she's in and they might've not even known her age and yet the first person they asked about is me. What the heck? I was as bland as they get, unless 'that guy who doesn't talk much but comes up with some sarcastic comment every now and then' sounds like the most amazing person on Earth to you.

>This continued until my mother grew concerned about me and took me to see a doctor, who then said I had something called "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome". I was then put on fucking powerful antidepressants which kept me knocked out for hours at a time, and this led to the point where I would be asleep for 20 hours every day, and would only ever wake up to get food and water and to go to the toilet.

Similar story. Went to a psychiatrist, was diagnosed with depression, pills didn't work, the dosis got doubled up (I wrote about it here >>1067 and in couple of other threads). My reaction wasn't as bad as yours but most of the time I had no idea what I'm doing. I was like a living corpse. I slept all day long and when I woke up I was tired beyond all belief and my mind felt really hazy. In the rare moments when I actually had a good grasp of what's going on people would tell me that they saw me walking around, swining my arms like some retard.

I never heard about this whole CFS thing, I'll do my research on that matter later. The number of diagnoses I heard is really long. The two most plausible ones were lyme disease and Wilson's disease. Run Westerblott tests for lyme and since they showed nothing I gave up on that. Wilson's disease seemed like a perfect fit as I was even diagnozed with schizophrenia before but again, that wasn't it. Saw tenths of specialists and not a single one could tell me what the fuck is wrong with me. After a while they started treating me like I was a hypochondric. Once after I told him about my constant lack of energy and problems with waking up in the morning a neurologist actually had the nerve to tell me that I shouldn't watch movies/play games/take cold showers/drink coffee before going to sleep. I was 18 at that time.

>Eventually I recovered enough to be able to return to school. My fourth year was almost over and I hadn't been there for even a single day of it so far. I tried pretty hard to get back into the rhythm of waking up, going to school, coming home, then going to sleep, but I had grown so used to my lazy, carefree life that I just couldn't find the motivation any more.

Yeah, after all was said and done I was deprived of any motivation. I couldn't bring myself to do jack's shit. When I went to school (which didn't happen often) I sometimes got pissed off at how easy the stuff that they're teaching us is (initially - after a while I didn't have much of idea what we're currently doing so it got worse) but my grades were pretty bad as I haven't done anything school-related after leaving the school building. All those papers I had to write? Yeah, never happened. Even during tests I sometimes would get bad grades even though I knew the answers as I was so tired I ended up laying on my desk or just straight out sleeping.

>Sorry for the absolutely massive wall of text

Don't be (same goes to >>2361 >>2382 and others). Walls of text are awesome and very welcome, at least in my book.

>>2396
> I was then put on fucking powerful antidepressants which kept me knocked out for hours at a time, and this led to the point where I would be asleep for 20 hours every day, and would only ever wake up to get food and water and to go to the toilet. Those pills fucked me up to the point where I started having hallucinations and became depressed enough to try to kill myself not once, but twice.
This sounds awesome. What were the antidepressants called?

>>2407
Seconding this. I would love to simply sleep all day and not worry about shit.

>>2421
No, you really wouldn't. I went through the same thing.

>>2430
Sorry, but it is my dream to be in a coma. I welcome anything close to it.

>>2431
I have the same dream. Being able to "live" in my dreamworld for the rest of my life would be so great

>>2433
It's cool for a while, but eventually you start to wonder why you're even alive. Never knowing if you're awake or asleep is a horrible, disorienting experience.

>>2434
> Never knowing if you're awake or asleep is a horrible, disorienting experience.
So is being alive.

>>2434
>eventually you start to wonder why you're even alive

I already do this all the time, so no worries there. I would relish the chance to sleep most of the day, every day.

>>2407
I also wish to try these. At the moment I sleep 11-13 hours a day and lie in bed for another 5-7. I would love to sleep 20 hours a day. My dreams are wonderful compared to life.

>>2407
I was put on Amitriptyline at a dose of 50 mg a day. At first it gave me a dry mouth and made me incredibly drowsy, and after about a week I was knocked out sometimes even for days at a time. The few hours a day I was awake I didn't know whether I was really awake or still sleeping, and it didn't help that I was having horrible nightmares when sleeping and vivid hallucinations when awake, so it made little difference to me either way.
This was back when I was around 14-15 mind you, so for it to have the same effect on me now would probably take a dose of about 75-100 mg.

>>2405
>I was as bland as they get, unless 'that guy who doesn't talk much but comes up with some sarcastic comment every now and then' sounds like the most amazing person on Earth to you.
That was pretty much how I was, as well. I'd only ever sit there minding my own business, and people would flock to me like I was the greatest person they had ever known. I was like some kind of people-magnet, and I hated it.

>I never heard about this whole CFS thing, I'll do my research on that matter later. The number of diagnoses I heard is really long. [...]I was even diagnozed with schizophrenia before but again, that wasn't it. Saw tenths of specialists and not a single one could tell me what the fuck is wrong with me.
Ever since I dropped out of high school it's been the same for me. I started seeing a psychiatrist shortly after dropping out, and I've been switched between four different psychiatrists since then. Not a single one knew what the hell was wrong with me, as each of them gave different diagnoses (ranging from major depression, to schizoaffective disorder, and one of them labeled me a sociopath and switched me only because he found me incredibly difficult to deal with [though admittedly I was being very difficult, as by this point I had already gone through a number of doctors and specialists none of whom could tell me a thing about what was actually wrong with me. Of course I was beginning to get very irritable and impatient with them]).

>Yeah, after all was said and done I was deprived of any motivation. I couldn't bring myself to do jack's shit. When I went to school (which didn't happen often) I sometimes got pissed off at how easy the stuff that they're teaching us is
That was the exact same for me. My teachers always used to harp on about how intelligent I was and how much higher my grades could have been if I had put in the effort, but I just didn't care about any of that when the work was far too easy. I didn't find it interesting at all. After scoring a perfect 100% on one of my tests in second year, every teacher who found out about this would make it a point to emphasize to me exactly how much "potential" they thought I had, to the point where they would get on at me for slacking off even the slightest bit. I had become the object of their attention, and they were determined to turn me into a genius, yet at the same time wouldn't give me any more challenging work, much to my displeasure.

Funny story actually, it was shortly after the time my arm had healed and shortly before my lung collapsed, that I really lost faith in the education system. By this point I had missed a few months' worth of work, and the day I decided to go back I was given a test for my chemistry class. After breezing through the test and getting my results back, it turned out I had just barely passed when half the damn class (most of whom, by the way, hadn't missed even a total of a week's worth of the work) failed the very same test. I don't know whether the people in my class were all idiots, whether I was remarkably intelligent, or whether I got damn lucky - but that was enough to make me realize how pointless it was for me to even go to school when I could pass the tests without even doing the damn work.

>>2407
>>2421
>>2431
>>2433
>>2437
>>2438

I'm >>2405. I think I did a poor job at explaining what it feels like so let me try to do this again:

Forget about peacefully sleeping for 20 hours a day. It will feel like you've been knocked out rather than being asleep. After you wake up, you will be totally wasted and yet falling asleep again won't be as easy as it sounds. You might forget about remembering any of your dreams, too - not gonna happen. Actually, you might forget about remembering anything AT ALL. Your consciousness will just come back every now and then all of a sudden. You won't have any fucking idea what you were doing, where you are and most of all, what day it is. How much time has passed since you last were 'conscious'? Has it been five minutes? An hour? A week? You will be as disoriented as it gets. After putting the meds off it will take some time before you'll be back to normal but after that wou will just feel as if someone ripped a few sheets out of your calendar. 'Wow, it's May? But January was just three days ago!'

If it still sounds like fun any SSRI will do the job I guess. However, it might not work on you. My psychologist told me that my reaction was unnaturally strong and that he believes that prescribing me SSRIs was a mistake in the first place. My serotonin levels weren't too low - most likely, they were too high and using SSRIs was like adding fuel to the fire. Also, you will probably need prescription to get any meds of this sort.

I was using Fevarin. It's supposedly rather mild. I don't want to know what would happen if they gave me something more powerful.

>>2437

Well, wondering why I am alive and longing after death was the reason I was sent to psychiatrist in the first place so I share your sentiment. However, I doubt SSRIs will make it any more bearable.

>>2440

>This was back when I was around 14-15 mind you, so for it to have the same effect on me now would probably take a dose of about 75-100 mg.

I was 15 at that time, too. I have no fucking idea about the dosis, though. I just swallowed whatever they gave me. Not like it would've been possible to do it myself even if I knew how many pills I had to take.

>I've been switched between four different psychiatrists since then

For that record I've been through three psychiatrists, two neurologists, two pedagogues and two psychologists (the second one is a great guy and helped me out a lot, I was visiting him for 3 years but last year I finally decided it's a waste of my and - more importantly - his time; there are tons of people who need help and I can't just sit there and brag about my life even though he won't be able to help me at all; also, I always felt that if I met him when the shit hit the fan I would've recovered).

>>2440

>That was the exact same for me. My teachers always used to harp on about how intelligent I was and how much higher my grades could have been if I had put in the effort, but I just didn't care about any of that when the work was far too easy. I didn't find it interesting at all. After scoring a perfect 100% on one of my tests in second year, every teacher who found out about this would make it a point to emphasize to me exactly how much "potential" they thought I had, to the point where they would get on at me for slacking off even the slightest bit. I had become the object of their attention, and they were determined to turn me into a genius, yet at the same time wouldn't give me any more challenging work, much to my displeasure.

Wow, we could write a diary together and noone would be able to tell our entries apart. I remember that I usually got the highest grades in my class for the essays I wrote at school (since just sitting there doing nothing got boring after a while; I also remember refusing to write an essay about some topic from 'Crime nad Punishment as I felt it's too personal to just share with a stranger) but overall my grades were shit as I never ever wrote anything at home. Since I turned 15 there hasn't been a single instance of me writing anything for my English class at home (or rather the equivalent of English class as English is not my mother tongue)... or math homework... or just about anything. The only things I sporadically wrote was my real English homework (my teacher was an asshole and I would rather spend five minutes getting it done than listen to him talk shit about me for an hour) and sometimes stuff for a class called 'knowledge of culture' (or 'cultural knowledge' or something - I'm not to sure how to translate that) because we had a lot of freedom when it came to choosing our topics. Once I did a presentation about the role of beer and wine in ancient cultures (Egypt, Babylon, Greece and Rome). It was fun and the topic is ridiculously vast - I actually had to split it into two separate presantations I did on consecutive lessons. Also, it might sound like a silly topic but it was the basis of their society, really. If you're interested you might want to read 'A History of the World in Six Glasses' by Tom Standage. Some things he writes about are pure fanwank but overall it's a good read.
I chose such topic because I thought it's interesting and at the same time I thought the normalfags in my class might actually listen to someone's presentation for once (it didn't really work out, though). After I was done the teacher told me I could totally give a lecture about this subject on some symposium. The funniest part of this story is that I never showed up for her class again that year (I gave the presentations in January). So yeah, I know how that feels.

>By this point I had missed a few months' worth of work, and the day I decided to go back I was given a test for my chemistry class. After breezing through the test and getting my results back, it turned out I had just barely passed when half the damn class (most of whom, by the way, hadn't missed even a total of a week's worth of the work) failed the very same test.

That's where out stories split. After I started to show up only once a week or so I had no idea what was going on in class. For once the grades actually represtented my knowledge - they weren't shit because I was lazy, they were shit because I really didn't possess much knowledge about those subjects.
But I decided school was not worth the trouble of actually showing up because everything was too damn easy. There was only one thing that pissed me off more than how easy all that stuff was - it was how FUCKING LONG it took everybody to complete simple tasks. By the time the teacher was done explaining math problems I usually was through with the whole thing. Then he'd say 'ok, I'll give you ten minutes to solve this' and I felt like screaming out loud. After that 95% of my class still had no goddamn idea what's going on so I usually ended up actually voluntarily solving task on the blackboard for the first time in my life. I always knew that answers but I didn't have the courage to actually raise my hand. But in high school I simply had to do it or I would die out of boredom.

The same thing happened in my 'English' class. I remember that our teacher was a retard who gave those grades for being active during his classes. I had absolutely no interest in grades so I only answered when I knew nobody will come up with the right answer so that we could move on. At the end of the year he asked us who we think has most points for his answers. A friend of mine said it's got to be me. The teacher was surprised and asked him why he thinks that's the case. He said that whenever I say something it's correct. I can't recall the way he phrased this but it was the biggest compliment I heard in my life (that is, the biggest compliment in my book - I was actually happy to hear that). Oh, and the grade itself was among the lowest in my whole class. This made it even better.

/WoT

>>2449
>However, I doubt SSRIs will make it any more bearable.

The effects of anti-depressants and similar psychiatric medications are hard to predict. They can be a terrible experience for one person and a godsend for another. And different medications can have very different effects on the same individual.

I personally had a bad experience on SSRIs (not as bad as yours) but read reports from others about how useful they were, and I've since had very positive results from another med (Risperdal, if you're wondering).

>>2450

Well, I just sort of assumed they don't need such medication. So what I wanted to say is this: If the chemical balance in your brain is fine you should probably stay away from SSRIs.

I gotta be the only person here who found highschool work difficult.

But yet, I still get the "you got so much potential; such a genius; etc.," remarks anyway. Every time I hear it, I cringe in my head.

>>2449
> My psychologist told me that my reaction was unnaturally strong
Then I guess that means it probably wouldn't work for me. Oh well.

>>2472
No, I did, too. Not because I was dumb, but because I'm ungodly slow at everything I do. I still take at least twice as long as most other students when it comes to essays.

Elementary school: I don't remember much, except for failing second grade. I remember the teacher not liking me at all, but I'm not going to blame the teacher for my own stupidity in failing that.

Middle school: I was bullied a little and some guy kept trying to touch me inappropriately in P.E to mess with me since I was pretty weak, fat loser. Not much happened aside from my social anxiety building up to the point where it was getting difficult to walk through the hallways since there were a ton of people there when it was time to go between classes.

High school:My anxiety got worse, along with my grades. I made it to my 3rd year, started skipping school at an amazing rate, and ended up dropping out.

>>2473
>>2472
Oh god this. Every time I done an essay in English, it took me twice as long to do it and yet mine were always half as long as everyone elses. I literally could not write about things that I wasn't interested in. And I still can't.

schizophrenia

Fucking boring it was. I occasionally hung out with some normals since I could at least blend in, but I never really "got in" to any activities, even though I was invited to track because I can run like a motherfucker. I was just kind of in lala land half the time and vaguely payed attention to the conversation at hand in groups.

University it's the same shit, except with more annoying propaganda.

Elementary school: Had a bad experience in kindergarten (can't remember anything specific, all I know is I had a bad experience). Everything else is a fog.

Middle school: Moved halfway through 7th grade and slowly drifted apart from the few friends I made in my previous school. Slightly bullied by one kid. It was nothing physical, mostly just ridiculing me in public. Told teachers and even the principal but no one did anything. Luckily this only lasted one year.

High school: Stuck to myself for the most part. Made a few acquaintances in some classes that I would stop talking to once the semester finished. Failed one class because the teacher had us do way too much public speaking. I half assed the rest of my classes except for math classes, which were the only ones I enjoyed going to. So yeah, my grades were shit. At least everyone left me alone.

I changed schools often and refused to talk to anyone there. Whenever they knew that I was leaving, they would say "well at least you get to begin a blank slate" which was pretty funny to me.

But then at the last school I went to, my aunt was friends with one of the teachers. She told her my life story, and then passed it on to all of the kids. Fuck my aunt.

You know, parents always say you should spend school time goofing off with friends and whatnot, and at first I kind of wish I had done that until I remember what school was actually like.

I lived in a pretty boring place with almost nothing that interested me around. It's not that I was asocial as much as I had nobody I could really relate to, nor much to do outside. Everybody in school was so boring, and holding vapid conversations with them for more than 5 minutes made me mentally tired. The only things they cared about were sports (none that I liked) or whatever crap was on TV. I tried to like this shit but goddammit, it made me hate it even even more. Because of this, I just kept to myself because the only place I could find pasttimes that I liked was in my own room.

I actually did want to go out, have fun and do stuff I enjoy with people that are nice to be around, etc... but I rarely had the opportunity to do so since there was hardly anyone similar to me in school, aside from a few people (only one of which I still talk to on a regular basis). Now in college everyone is even worse, and because I never really talked to people much my social skills are just passable so I'm still quiet and invisible. Who knows, there could have been interesting people, maybe even brohnos, that I could have talked to, but kept to themselves like I do. I constantly hear of people who actually manage to find a small, but good group of friends and honestly I'd like that. Nothing big, just people you can talk to around the same level. I just see school as a series of missed opportunities, but I want to take advantage of my current situation to do some of those things. Now that I think about it, there were some 3DPD interested in me, but I'm glad I didn't get involved with them since I was naive back then, and the inevitable result would have left me worse off.

Post edited on 26th May 2011, 12:18pm

I had a great relationship with most of my teachers.

I had a great relationship with about ten people in the school. I basically told everyone else to fuck off. They were all pieces of shit anyways.

I was always visciously bullied for no reason. Middle School was the worst though because a few teachers decided to join in on the fun. And home wasn't much better, my parents used to yell and beat me for getting bad grades.
By High School I forgot how to talk to others.

This thread made me tear up a little.

What I hated most about school was my lack of friends. I didn't make any friends until my senior year when I shared a class with a couple people who liked anime, video games, etc. Before then, my classes were always full of normalfags, all of who ignored me.

Later on I started hanging out with them at lunch, and I met more people like them, but they were all too busy talking amongst themselves to really get to know me. I talked to them, but they never had much to say back. As time passed, I met more and more of them, but they were just like the others. I guess I was just doomed to always be the "new guy" among them.

Even today I still think this is bullshit. If I had gotten a chance to meet them a few years earlier, I would have probably been well-accepted among them. I would have been a lot happier. These guys were like a family or something (well, save for the fact that some of them were dating), and I was nothing more than a stranger.

>>4410
This is a five-star post and I hope you have a pleasant tomorrow!!