/so/ - Ronery

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whiny bitching about my life Anonymous 03/13/11(Sun)23:37 No. 2272 [Edit]

How do you motivate yourself?

Currently due to a lack of motivation I'm set to fail out of college. I had a bad problem with procrastination last semester but this semester I find it difficult to do anything, not just school, I don't want to do anything, I find myself just staring at a page on the internet sometimes.

I think that finals in last semester did something to me. I was up for 2-3 days at a time working on getting them done and got to the point of arguing with my cat several times. I used to keep my room nice and tidy but after this I just quit picking stuff up. The only thing I really do of note is taking care of my cat after it annoys me enough about being hungry.

I had been living by myself in a shed detached from our main house, although still with my parents technically, but I didn't have to deal with their bullshit. We moved a bit before this semester began, and while I thought it might help me with my procrastination it has only made it worse. Now instead of procrastinating with it I just keep putting it off until theres no chance of getting it done, such as the essay I haven't started that I need to have done in 4 hours, and then head off to class, which I'll try to get done, but I don't know if I will, regardless I'm set up to get a bad grade on it as since we have to write it on a famous artist and we need to have three of his works matted or mounted for presentation, which I don't have, save the image files on my computer. I also have two tests in this class I need to study for in the time alloted.

Perhaps its not to do with either--but instead that I've lost interest in my field of study and have came to actually dislike it, perhaps because of the stress it causes upon me. I used to love doing things in graphic design but since I enrolled in college for it its made me weary of it. I basically decided I was staying in college to take the free ride for as long as I could, but seeing as how I am guranteed to fail my english class, on my way to failing my science class, going there on one of my design classes, and the other one is a fucking joke of being a "professional" class.

I'm sick of my parents being up my ass all the time. They're annoying drunk normalfags that are constantly trying to get me to be more normal and remind me all the time of how I "need to go out more" and tease me insensitively about getting a 3DPD.

The problem being I don't have any marketable skill to really do, and I don't want a job that I have to interact with people in. I considered trying to do some freelance design stuff, but seeing as how I'm pretty shit at it, and jobs are hard to come by thats not going to happen. I've been considering trying to get government benefits but it seems to be something I don't think I'd make the cut for unless I tried to apply for disability for some sort of psychological issue I have, which I am unsure of. My dad has disability though, so it might help me get it since it shows the family has disabled people in it. Additionally if I did this it wouldn't set well with my parents who moralfag over such things, I consider life to be a game, and in games competitively you have the winners and the scrubs. Scrubs cry over things not being fair and the like--they often aren't, but theres nothing saying you can't do it in the rule book.

If that would fail theres only a couple choices really, shitty minimum wage jobs I can get with my GED/Little college education. Or try and find some sort of freelance work, as I'm certainly not going to be lucky enough to stumble upon large sums of cash. I've considered something I've heard about lately that seems easy, but to be difficult, although it varies from person to person in what I've read--Demand Media, which is a content farm and you get paid to write ehow articles, and they of course have guidelines like citations and the like for writers. Reportedly they pay around $7.50-15 a article you write. Looking at sites its all dependent on how quickly you can write articles that determines whether or not you're going to get enough to live on. Some people say its easy work that gets them enough to live on, others say its comparable to working in a sweat shop. Though I have problems getting motivated to do stuff so thats admittedly probably a bad idea.

Then theres the issue of financial aid should I drop out. Do I have to pay it all back and then some? Do I sink my ass in debt so far I can't hope to pay it off?

By my calculations I could live off the money I have for approximately six months assuming I find dirt cheap housing and that my guess as to living expenses is actually right. But more realistically 2-3 since shit happens.

tl;dr How do I get motivated or get money without having to deal with people so I can move out.

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>>	hamish!ZYIggdNQgg 03/13/11(Sun)23:42 No. 2273 [Edit] >How do you motivate yourself? By doing interesting things instead of going to school

Anonymous 03/14/11(Mon)00:41 No. 2274 [Edit]

I don't, I'm pretty much at the mercy of my wild, possibly bipolar mood swings. Sometimes I'm the smartest, kindest, most uncompromising motherfucker I know - others I'm fucked up beyond repair, unfit for living and survive by just making it through the day, every day, and then again the next day.

>>	Anonymous 03/14/11(Mon)00:45 No. 2275 [Edit] >>2274 Oh yeah, and I think I'm going to fail out of college too.

Anonymous 03/14/11(Mon)03:41 No. 2280 [Edit]

>>2272
Im not here to give emotional support OP, I'll just suggest some hard and fast, practical tips.

1. To get motivated, 'have something to motivate you'. Er, this might be a somewhat obvious statement. But thinking about your situation, if you don't believe in the reasons you should be studying it'll of course be hard to get motivated. Any attempts to pump yourself up will just make you feel like you are betraying your true beliefs. So instead of beliefs, have external motivators. E.g have a study buddy and meet up every week, so you feel obliged to study in order to prepare for your meetings. E.g2 join a student society. E.g3 use money as a motivator- if you don't study now then you'll be poor later.

2. Have a shocking event occur in your life. Yo just might need a shocking event to rock your status quo, to push you out of the rut you're stuck in or to force you to reevaluate everything you've taken for granted. e.g1 a personal example, in grade 11 I performed dismally in my studies, this shocked me so much that I picked up my game and did very well in grade 12. e.g2 earlier this year, I was only a hair's breadth from being forced to stay back a year at uni. This was because I missed out on an essential enrolment deadline. I had to talk to serious men in suits, sign billions of forms and pray that I would get in and that my parents wouldn't hate me. I was sick to my stomach, and henceforth I no longer procrastinated deadlines.

3. Just wait it out. Motivation can be a very whimsical, inexplicable thing. One day you might just suddenly feel like working for no apparent reason at all.

>>	giascle 03/14/11(Mon)03:48 No. 2281 [Edit] I have goals, and I do everything I can to meet those goals. If there's something you want, you'll motivate yourself without even thinking about it.

Anonymous 03/14/11(Mon)11:13 No. 2283 [Edit]

>>2280

>1
I don't have any friends save those I've made on online forums and the like, and out of those I only have a couple I think I could call friends to study with if at all. I can't really see money as a motivator because right now jobs in Design are hard to come by and I know this.

>2
I think the problem is I just don't care anymore nor do I really care if I'm kicked out as I can just kill myself if that happens.

>3
I can't just wait it out in college.

I overslept on my alarm this morning causing me to miss the class I had today, not that I expect it to have made much a difference. I didn't have the essay anywhere near done (I got a few paragraphs in about an hour at which point I said fuck it and went to bed) I hadn't studied for the tests either.

My parents came in as I was fixing myself something to eat from wherever they went off to and I made the mistake of asking them if they turned my alarm off, which they claim they didn't. I made the fatal mistake of letting them know I had stuff due today and now they want me to call my instructor to see if I can make it up, and I ran into a similar problem last semester and no I can't. I hate phones. I always get called an ass when I talk on the phone. I'm going to time when I think shes in the middle of class so I can leave a voicemail but she might just pick up, I hope not. Of course after I told my parents of this they respond with a real fucking encouraging "well if you didnt stay up on that damn computer all night you wouldn't have slept in"

I'm pretty sure I'm just going to drop out because I'm not interested in Design anymore, and I can also throw out the "save my GPA" thing to my parents to buy me some time but I'm not sure how well it'll go... I need to think of the best way to break it to them I'm pretty much fucked on grades as of right now honestly I hope my instructor doesn't let me make it up. Though if I do drop out my parents will start downplaying the usefulness of a college education in a manner that'll only make me feel worse about it.Or just start in about how "if I wasn't on that damn computer".

Anonymous 03/14/11(Mon)12:22 No. 2284 [Edit]

Our situation is very similar OP, it's almost creepy.

Except that I decided to break that cycle.
I'm gonna drop out to study something that interests me (3DCG), while supporting myself with a job for normals.
I also don't have qualifications or social skills and I have experienced THAT kind of anxiety where you cannot get out of the room.

I'm terribly scared, but the more I think about it the more confident I become. Choosing what to do, what to eat, when to sleep, what to study. The more classes I drop, the more confident. My life is probably gonna get worse but I'm feeling more liberated. Free of expectations. Like if I want to love myself.

Now my only problem is telling my overbearing parents that I'm dropping out. I was looking how and I found this http://goo.gl/ceHyJ.

Don't be too hard on yourself OP. Moving away from your parents might solve a lot of problems in your life, even if it sounds scary is not impossible. It should be your highest priority.

I wish I could give you better advice. Good luck OP.

Anonymous 03/19/11(Sat)04:53 No. 2411 [Edit]
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A similar TL;DR story started going on on me about... dammit: 7 years ago...

But after all these years, and as long as I can see, all motivation we ever find in life is just a provisional palliative, until revealing itself as a joke. Something might -or not- catch your attention, given certain circumstances; but, presummably, when the status quo changes again or gets into deep problems, our deepest pasions and dearest beliefs will be reduced again to juvenile mistakes. We're likely gonna regret things -and badly- anyway: our failures for being failures, and our so called achievments for being so damn cheap to have lead us (and the world?) to this very moment and place. As long as we keep on living, we're not likely going to find any ultimate truth or (good) destiny, but just the illusions of them. So the best I could say to all this vicious path is: * * SILENCE * *...

For good or bad, we could try to live as we want, each and every moment. For a couple of times (important ones), we might even get the chance to live as we think we should live, and be the clossest to our (otherwise unattainable) ethical-selves. All that before failling altogether, once again, more ridiculously and painfully than ever. Because, apparently, we simply can't escape from being in the wrong. Because, apparently, we can't get a single damned thing straight. Because, apparently, after all this years we haven't really learned absolutely nothing. Because, maybe, since knowledge always refers to more knowledge (i.e. more language), it steps aside from itself. Because our single lives being so insignificant, maybe implies that any given action, inspired by any given reason, might be perfectly equivalent to do absolutley nothing (for anyother given reason).

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