Don't worry OP, I've done worse to animals (driven by much the same urge you felt) and I'm not a serial killer... well, yet, anyway.

I kicked a soccer ball at a dog with a tumor.

Unintentionally.
　
　
　
I'm not very good at sports.

You probably have nothing to worry about if you're self-aware

Only bad thing i've done is that I accidentally stood on one of my cats' paws. He was limping about for a few hours, I felt terrible.

Yeah OP thats pretty fucked, i havnt ever hurt an animal i dont think.

>>2230
Plenty of serial killers are self aware, i would take it as a sign you need help.

When I was younger, I would throw kittens into the air above my bed. They would go six or seven feet up before coming back down. I grew out of it, and they seemed okay in the end. Those kittens ended up running away, though.

More recently, whenever my dog escapes the yard (he can unlatch the gate) and runs around outside, I usually smack him around something fierce directly proportional to how long I must spend finding him. Bruised my hands and fingers a couple times doing that.

Please keep your fantasies inside your head, OP. I beg of you.

>I would throw kittens into the air. Those kittens ended up running away
I did this with my friends kitten when i was a teenager
I can never forgive myself

I left some food out a couple months ago and my dog grabbed it off the plate when I went to piss, I went overboard with smacking him and felt bad right after, but he has NEVER done that before, in his 8 years with me. Hopefully that was the only time.

But aside from that and training animals that can get rough, no, I've not purposely hurt an animal. At least not a pet worthy animal. I kill ants and such when they get in my kitchen.

>>2234
>>2236

I saw my 'friends' throw a cat at a wall. Not very hard and in the end the cat seemed to be completely unharmed but it made me feel sick either way.
I haven't said a thing to them, though. Everyone seemed to enjoy it. This is why I regret ever bothering with 'normal' people.

The worst I've actually done is probably push a dog with my foot a little. I didn't kick him or anything like that, I was just messing with him. It was not playful, though - I actually wanted to annoy him. Shame on me.

As for the things I wanted to do... Well, let's say that whenever I see an animal I feel a strong urge to do something bad to it. I'm sometimes afraid I won't be able to control myself. But as I've said, I have never really done anything.
I guess I hate all living things. I enjoy destroying stuff, no matter what it is. Whenever I have something sharp in my hands (scissors, knife) I think about stabbing someone. One time, my father handed me an averruncator in a gardening shop because he needed both of his hands to lift something else. I swear I almost stabbed the woman who popped out of nowhere and startled me.
I'm pretty sure I never ever hit anyone. I guess I'm good at restraining myself.

... Oh wait, that was a lie just now. I have never done anything to bigger animals, sure, but I remember doing all sorts of things to insects and spiders. I burned ants with my magnifying glass and plucked spiders' legs out. The latter is somewhat interesting as a close friend of mine suffered from a very bad case of arachnophobia. He wasn't exactly a good guy - he got into lots of fights, had some problems with the police, was close to getting sent to reformatory once. But whenever he saw a spiders he squeeled like a little girl and run for his life. It was so bad that he refused to even play video games with spiders. I shit you not.
Now I also suffer from arachnophobia. I could pick up a spider without anyproblems when I was a kid but after being around a though huy who was afraid of them I kinda contracted it.

Overall I'm a pretty cruel guy I guess. But that's only part of me. I remember that I liked to step on slugs' empty shells as they made a nice cracking sound. I was an expert at telling apart empy shells from inhabited ones. There was one time where I was certain that the shell was empty so I stepped on it but I realized I was wrong in an instant. I kept crying for like 20 minutes after that and never again stepped on a shell. I was ~7, maybe 8.

And as much as I hate other human beings I am known to be very polite and kind. When I see elderly people carying around empty bags I sometimes ask if they need help, when using public communication I always free my seat when I see some old lady who needs it more than I, I sometimes give some money to beggars even though I'm rather poor myself. I've been told I've got plenty of charisma a few times. During my time in elementary school I was well liked and since people thought I'm a trustworthy person I was chosen as a class representative a few times. Oh boy, how oblivious can other people be?

In the end more othen than not it's people like us who end up as serial killers. Then the neighbours/relatives/friends are interviewed and everybody is shocked - 'he was such a nice guy, I still can't believe he has done something like that'. But I'm gonna be just fine, I lack balls to do anything of this sort.

Aside from burning bugs, no.

I hurt animals just as I hurt people — never excessively and always with good reason.

No, I honestly haven't.

Aside from bugs (only if they get into the house, I leave outside bugs alone).

Find it disgusting that someone would intentionally hurt animals. Maybe I'm fucked up, because I sympathize sometimes with people who hurt or murder other people, but I have no sympathy for harming animals at all.

>>2244
Because animals are innocent, with humans you can always find a way to see them as deserving.

>psychological explanation
Everyone is a little obsessive-compulsive - some more than others. Be well aware that the distance between thought and action is very far; and even if you feint that very action to a certain extent, you are still in control of the situation. Those who suffers from OCD however, doesn't have that luxury.

As for kids - kids can be cruel, do and say some mean and unforgivable shit, but most of us grow up and stop experimenting.

I never felt this way with animals, or insects (in fact I feel guilty if I kill an insect) but sometimes when I'm holding a knife and someone is near me, I wonder what it would be like to stab them.

I scare myself with my stabbing thoughts, since they also go back to stabbing myself. Dangerous objects need to stay away from me, I think.

I have an intense fear of dogs, so when one runs towards me I panic and kick at it.

Feels pretty bad. I'd run but then I'm afraid they might give full chase.

>>2239

Me again. I just recalled something funny. A year or so ago I was going to the mall to do some shopping when I noticed a caterpillar (as soon as I saw the ceterpillar edit on /ma/ I got reminded of this situation) on a pretty crowded sidewalk. Normally, it would have been stepped on 29483 times already as it's usually pretty crowded there but on that particular day not many people seemed to be around. I knew that it will meet it's demise if it'll stay there any longer so I picked it up (which took some time, as I didn't actually 'pick it up' since I was afraid of crushing it between my fingertips) and put it in a safer place (on a nearby lawn).
And then I picked up at least two more and did the same thing.

So yeah. That's me I guess. One day I save caterpillars and the next I'm seriously considering stabbing people. Oh well.