Well, i am an even bigger failure.

That's all i can think of, but soon no more...

At least you tried, which is more than I've done

I think you should try to get a job, at least only for this year. Then, study your ass off and enter uni next year, the career you like the most.

See, i finished high school (I think you english people call it like that, you know the school you finish more or less when you are 18).
Then, failed at first year university.
My mom gently kicked my ass out of the house (It was like "I do it for you, anon!" Then, moved to another place to live with my sister, new university. FAILED AGAIN, cause i couldn't work & study at the same time. And now, I'm back at my moms house. To try the first uni again. THIS IS THE FUCKIN THIRD TIME I START UNI.

Sorry, i just got carried away.
And, if you are afraid of work, just don't. I was terrified of the sole idea, but once i get a job (my sister got it for me, he...) it was easy as fuck. You know, some place like cheap Mcdonalds. Just making some stupid food and clean. Think of this jobs like "Hey, if some stupid people with no knowledge can do this fine, then i can do it a lot better"

Amm.. Don't know what else say, because my english is limited. Just remember, study hard next year and beat the shit out of all (studying, that is).
But don't give up. I'm fucking sure, you can fucking do it.

Good luck.

>>1637
Correct.
Here in Germany, back then atleast, for many subjects, you don't even need a special score and entry-test to be accepted. And even max. 1000€ per year only.

But still, out of pressure i applied for a subject, after having spend 2 years as a Hikki and of course i failed.
Knowing beforehand i have no motivation for whatsoever and suscribing for physics.
Played the fakestudent for 1 year.
2 years has passed and guess what...still the Hikki.

Fuck, this needs to end, for good.

>I failed my university entrance test
>I was only able to graduate from college

wut

Anyways, don't beat yourself over expectations that other people put on you.
University is not for everyone (a degree is more of a proof of how much bullshit can you go through rather than showing that you're smart).

Your father's heart attack its his own fault for not controlling himself(My dad had the same problem).

Also, read this completely to the end
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/06/the-meaning-of-life-intro/

>>1648
In some countries, "college" and "university" are not synonyms. College is like a pre-university, sort of like the difference between a community college and a 4-year+ college. I think.

OP should move in with his grandma and become the landlord of a girl's dorm.

>>1639
Loserbernd??

>>1649

In Brazil we call high-school college (Or middle education.).

Oh, and I feel you OP. I was in a similar situation. I got kicked out of college and slowly realized the weight of being a very spoiled person with no skills. I went through a few months of self depreciation and considered giving up for good. After half a year had gone by I decided to give college another shot. I picked up some books, searched for resources on the internet and started studying to take college entrace exams again. I also picked up a crappy job as a waiter which was enough to pay for rent and food and managed to distract me from my bombarded self esteem.

Now I just got into college again. I honestly don't know if I'll make it to the end again. I still have little motivation in my life, but I'm in a better position than before. From my personal experience all I can tell you is not to waste too much time fretting about the past or the future and just figure out a few simple (even if troublesome) things that might improve your chances of getting out of your situation. I'd suggest getting a job as a priority, as shitty a job as it is. It's just temporary after all. Once you're working you'll suddely feel a weight lifted off your back and you can think about other stuff more clearly.

I know it's tempting to try and figure out where things went wrong, or what you could've done better, but making a simple, feasible plan, and just executing it usually leads to better results.