>(a small town in one of the smallest states in the US called Connecticut)
Ah! I'm in Connecticut, too. Norwich.
It's seriously bad here. It makes me so sad whenever I go outside. The trees are all dead almost year round, and everything looks faded. There was a point, I think it was two years ago, there were no leaves until late April. I have a really shitty CRT that's burning out, and outside looks exactly like the way the TV looks. There's no vividness to speak of. There's no hope here. The streets of my city are empty, or full of crazy drug-addicts and drunks. It reminds me of a dystopia. The surrounding suburbs and the poisoned, disgusting city flow into each other almost perfectly. Even the nice part of town is just...awful.
The only people who I've made friends with here are nihilistic and self-pitying. They have no hope either. It feels kind of nice to have people like them around me, but it just serves as a ribbon on my finger - "Don't forget you're here forever".
The only people I've met who are hopeful, and believe in a meaning beyond the day-to-day monotony are out-of-towners. My high-school took in students from the surrounding towns, so I got to meet a lot of them. It was so strange how they contrasted with the people from my town.
I honestly think it might be cursed. I'd like to leave, and move to the West Coast, but it would give me a fucking intense crisis if I still felt that same hopelessness.