My ups and downs are brutal. When I'm feeling happy, I dream big and set out to achieve something, when I start feeling down I realize it was a stupid thing to do, pretend it never happened, and later on when I start feel happy again I start a new project. I've been doing this for years and I have never completed a single goal or plan, and looking back I think they were all ridiculous. It's like I turn into a completely different person with different tastes, interests and habits during every "cycle" and I can't stand it.
I really wish I could stick to something for more than a few months... I've gone through this so many times, I'm convinced the cycle can't be broken without drugs, but I have no idea where to buy them.
It's really sad because I'm in the middle of something right now and it's really fun, but I can already tell that by Christmas I will be looking back and asking myself 'what the fuck was I thinking?'