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12008 No. 12008 [Edit]
I'm feeling an upper starting again after a three-month downer.

I've been in this cycle for several years now. Uppers and downers are roughly evenly distributed across extended periods. During downers, weeks pass by without awareness and I can't enjoy things. During uppers, I enjoy things, work out and get things done.

How can I increase the length of uppers and decrease that of downers? Is there some kind of magic trick to it? It seems so simple and I know it to be possible, but I can't seem to reach it.
>> No. 12009 [Edit]
I just hit an upper again too but after a much longer period of time. Basically it just has to do with certain times of the year for everyone individually but anything can affect the length of them. I'm in a good mood because I found a ton of new music online tonight and I'm finally not so sick anymore and can get back on track.

Anyways I don't think there is any way to directly control those uppers and downers. Just know exactly when they happen and find the best ways to deal with them personally. Simply put the only real trick to keeping yourself stable overall is knowing your own life inside and out and like I just said dealing with it according to what is best for you.
>> No. 12010 [Edit]
I'm the same way. I'll be out of energy for a few weeks, then miraculously regain it and begin doing something worthwhile. Eventually the energy runs out and I'm back to doing nothing, but I try to get enough done when I'm energetic to cover that.
>> No. 12011 [Edit]
It's obviously crushing depression that causes all of that, but have you tried getting diagnosed with ADHD?
If you have the means to, try to get some of that stuff. I've never tried anti-depressants or anything but stimulants get rid of both my depression and anxiety temporarily.

Though it's expensive, and it really sucks to run out before the next prescription. I just had to endure 3 days of wanting to kill myself because of that.

How I deal with bad times without medicine? I don't really.
For bad times, I'll attempt to sleep all day so I don't have to think, with breaks of eating and browsing the internet. My good times are so fleeting that it's seriously just like an hour or two in a day when I'll be able to actually do anything.

It's not worth it though. The good times are short, while the bad times just get longer and longer, worse and worse. Take advantage of modern medicine.(If you haven't already)
>> No. 12012 [Edit]
I've had crushing depression and this is much nicer than that. Maybe it's some milder form of depression, but I'd rather not touch shrinks with a ten-foot pole - I had my share of their treachery when I was admitted.
>> No. 12014 [Edit]
My ups and downs are brutal. When I'm feeling happy, I dream big and set out to achieve something, when I start feeling down I realize it was a stupid thing to do, pretend it never happened, and later on when I start feel happy again I start a new project. I've been doing this for years and I have never completed a single goal or plan, and looking back I think they were all ridiculous. It's like I turn into a completely different person with different tastes, interests and habits during every "cycle" and I can't stand it.
I really wish I could stick to something for more than a few months... I've gone through this so many times, I'm convinced the cycle can't be broken without drugs, but I have no idea where to buy them.
It's really sad because I'm in the middle of something right now and it's really fun, but I can already tell that by Christmas I will be looking back and asking myself 'what the fuck was I thinking?'
>> No. 12017 [Edit]

Same. I was already a world champion in pretty much everything, received a Nobel Prize in every category etc. etc.

To be honest in my case there are two phases like that. A 24 hour one where I suddenly feel like a young Haruhi an hour or two after the sunset and one covering all the remaining time when I make my cat walk around hungry because I'm sure a sack of shit like me isn't even good enough to feed a cat.

And then there's the other one, something like OP describes. Hard to determine how long one phase takes usually, it varries. Let's say 6 weeks on average. I can clearly tell when my mood is going to switch for the better/worse.

I sometimes call myself semi-bipolar even though I don't think I'm seriously ill or something, I just accept it as part of who I am.
>> No. 12018 [Edit]
>weeks pass...can't enjoy things
Your depression is probably worse than you think. That's pretty much full blown depression right there, isn't it?

But yeah... drugs are a last resort...
Except the helpful 'drugs' like adderall/ritalin. They're just stimulants, it's the persons own fault for abusing them if anything bad happens. Personally I don't think it's possible for me to make positive changes to my situation without it. A deadly combination of lethargy and anxiety stop me from doing anything at all besides NEETing it up at my comp. Even that's hard sometimes.

As for those three days, I didn't know if I had insurance or not. I still haven't done anything important so losing this would be a huge hit to me. As long as I have some remaining, I can skip a few days easily. It's not like I'll instantly start thinking up ways to kill myself when the effects go away.

It's more of something to invoke tons of confidence and work ethic. Whenever I want, just by taking pills that I got legally(and almost free).

Why buy drugs? Just get diagnosed with ADHD. If you described some of the things in your post to a doctor you'd most likely get it. All legally of course, without needing to talk to other people.

And those ups and downs look really familiar. Pretty much exactly how I am on/off the meds. Some of the things I've done on larger doses still make me cringe when I think about it. Even posts like this is something I look back on when I'm feeling like shit. I just took some more a few hours ago, so maybe this post is just being fueled by the meds.
>> No. 12020 [Edit]
Get proper medication. It might take awhile before they find the right one for you, but it's worth it, even if you'll never recover 100%.
I've been on this third one for a few months, Mirtazapine, and it's helped a lot. I can actually enjoy things again, now, at least until I start to get tired. Then everything starts to drop abysmally until I sleep it off.
Is it even possible to fully 100% recover from clinical depression? I just feel so tired of living. The medication gives me enough happiness to continue on, but if I was offered a painless, guaranteed death, I'd take it. I don't feel like I'll ever be back to how I used to be. Can't see my self living longer than 5 more years max.
>> No. 12024 [Edit]
Antidepressants have worse side effects than ADHD meds. If someone doesn't think they have 'clinical depression', at least attempting to get diagnosed with ADHD would be a better start. Antidepressants seem somewhat like a commitment or something, with trying out all the different kinds, just to find what works for you. Where you just take some adderall and, depending on how you take it, get effects within a few minutes to an hour.

ADHD meds helps with everything a truNEET in pain is suffering from. A typical shut-in with anxiety might even turn into an extrovert while on a higher dose.

Seriously you've seen all the praise ADHD meds get as study aids for students. Not only that but so many young kids are on it. It's obviously one of the safer drugs if not abused. The fact that you can abuse, for REALLY good days, is a nice bonus.
>> No. 12026 [Edit]
I used to be almost bipolar in my uppers and downers, I'd get all motivared and energetic and optimistic and then I'd fall in depression and spend whole weeks just sleeping and being really self-destructive.

My uppers have been reduced to maybe 2 hours every three months now. I started taking anti-depressives and I thought they would help, but that shit is not working, maybe i'll ask for a higher dosage next time I go to the doctor.
>> No. 12049 [Edit]
Getting a prescription is a lot of work. I don't think I can take it. I prefer gewtting drunk alone, in my house, while browsing imageboards and listening to music, I am drunk right now thank Haruhi I left this tab open, it feels exhilarating. I can reach the stars with my hands. I have never felt so good, to be honest. I wish I could feel like this every minute, every hour every day. I want to play chequers on a candlelit room, maybe snakes and ladders, this is the peak of my life. I can only go down from here.
>> No. 12069 [Edit]
Could be the type of AD rather than the dosage.
Eg. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor vs. Noradrenergic and specific serotonergic antidepressant.
Two of the former made me worse, while the latter has brought me back up to about a 7-8/10.
>> No. 12072 [Edit]
I don't really understand what you are talking about, but as of now I'm taking Bupropion(150mg)

I started taking depression meds about 2 months ago, I dont have experience with them.
I had a slight improvement during the first two weeks but since then it has been the same as before I started taking the meds, no changes, for better or worse.

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