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11895 No. 11895 [Edit]
Anyone keep getting a lot of intrusive thoughts?

I usually don't have any problems, but lately i keep getting weird thoughts (like gore images keep constantly popping up) and it's rather annoying. I'm just really afraid it means something. But from googling about this, it seems like lots of people manage to deal with these time to time. So I'll just have to wait til this goes away eventually.
>> No. 11896 [Edit]
All the time. Always have. It's probably the reason I've conditioned myself to think so little and just go through life like I'm in a trance.
>> No. 11897 [Edit]
All the time as well, have for years. Wikipedia says they usually fall into one of three categories: aggressive, sexual or blasphemous. Mine are sexual. They never did go away, but they diminished in frequency and I've learned to live with them. Somewhat.
>> No. 11900 [Edit]
mine tend to be blasphemous or sexual, but never in a good way. sometimes things like memories.
>> No. 11902 [Edit]
Oh yes sometimes I have really violent vivid thoughts about people that hurt me bad in the past. I never fought back completely out of fear of getting the cops called on me. The regret drives me insane, I wish I could have put those pieces of shit in their place. All of the people that took advantage of me because they knew they had backup and people that spoke down to me like they're queens and kings. I never have any mental break downs over anything sexual though. But sexual frustration certainly kills me sometimes. I will never feel the touch of another human being so I'm left to drown in my own desire. It's like everyone can no matter how ugly they are but me. I can't stand to see people together in public sometimes. It's like everyone just has people handed to them and all of sudden no matter how hard I try I just fall flat on my face after the only person I actually like (I live in the land of ugly people and people that wouldn't never want to touch me with a ten foot pole.).
>> No. 11903 [Edit]
I used to have aggressive thoughts all the time. When I was out in the streets if people so much looked at me I felt a urge to smash their faces with a brick. Most of these thoughts went away now, though sometimes I still feel the urge to punch people for no reason. The only violent image that pops in my head with frequency nowadays is me blowing my head off.

My unwanted thoughts are of sexual nature now. I hate it, and they make me hate myself, and they've become so common that it feeels like they are a tumour in my brain.
>> No. 11911 [Edit]
I've been through quite a few traumatic events in my life and sometimes memories just come to me
>> No. 11912 [Edit]
A symptom of a mental illness I have causes me to hallucinate and relive terrible moments from the past. Other times I just think and ponder terrible things. Nothing much to do but deal with it, I guess.
>> No. 11915 [Edit]
>>11911
Same. I honestly wish there is a way to completely forgot my worst memories and never recall them.

Apparently scientists are the process of developing a drug that can "erase" memory. Thing is, would I be the same person if I did take this drug when it goes on the market?

http://phys.org/news/2010-11-erase-memory.html
Old news I know, still interesting though.
>> No. 11922 [Edit]
>>11915
Thats awesome.
I bet theres gonna be a bunch of self rittiousfucktards that are going to try and ruin it for everyone, but tons of people have things they'd rather forget. who wouldn't want to see their favorite movie or video game for the first time again?
>> No. 11924 [Edit]
On occasion, I'll have this little part of me that interrupts whatever I'm doing, and says, in a sly voice, "This is what people do in hell." And it's basically been applied, by that voice, to almost everything I do. Video-games, music, anime, etc. It's only happened once or twice to whatever I may have been doing at the time, but it's still an incredibly shitty feeling. I can't even call it the feeling that I'm trapped in hell, because frankly, I know I'm not.

I suppose my intrusive thoughts could be considered blasphemous, but even then, I'm not really sure. Is it blasphemous to consider yourself doomed to hell?

Personally, I view them as my subconscious urging me to change my life in some minor or major way, y'know?
>> No. 11979 [Edit]
All the time. About hurting myself and/or others. When I board a train I always stay as far away from the tracks as possible till the train stops, I hold something in my hands when I'm in a car out of fear I'd open the door and jump out etc. etc. etc. There was a time when I nearly gauged someone's eyeball out. I literally can't leave my home without envisioning me killing myself at least 5 times and me smashing someone's head with a brick at least 3 times and every single time I think this time I won't endure it and I'll just fucking do it (even though I don't really want to). Which is why I try to leave my room as little as possible.
>> No. 11997 [Edit]
>>11979
I think you should seek help, it seems like this is really destroying your quality of life.
>> No. 11998 [Edit]
>>11997
That's a really bad idea. If he tells authorities this, they would lock him up in a psychiatric institution against his will.
>> No. 11999 [Edit]
>>11998
But that's a good thing, because they'll work on treating his illness. His actions clearly indicate that he doesn't want to comply to these feelings, but what if he does, one day?
>> No. 12002 [Edit]
>>11999

Even though I'm really afraid one day something will go really wrong deep down I feel like I won't hurt someone else at very least. I've managed to avoid trouble for the last 21+ years pretty well I'd say (aside from one time when I managed to nearly break my cousin's legs when I was like ~9, luckily for me noone found out about that).

Not sure about myself but whatever, if it'll happen it'll happen, maybe that's for the better, as I am now I don't think I could kill myself if I wanted to.

Also been visiting a psychologist for like 2 years back in high school and it helped with some stuff but I never really told him anything 'big'. Not even about wanting to kill myself to be honest. Been treated for depression and neurosis around the same times and the pills made everything that much worse. Lost the trust I had for both psychiatry and psychology back then.

This 'condition' was terribly terrible back when I still had a semi normal life as the urge to hurt somone was proportional to how much I liked him/her. I pretty much couldn't even say hi to my freinds without (involuntarily) imagining slicing their bellies open and strangling them with their intensines. Not cool.

It's not that bad nowadays since I spend all my time at home. I just have to be careful with cutlery and I try to avoid windows.

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