/so/ - Ronery
NEET is not a label, it's a way of life!

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11831 No. 11831 [Edit]
This is something I find hard to put in words. But have you ever felt like you were trapped because you didn't want to admit that you were wrong? That you felt you had to continue doing the wrong thing even though you didn't like to, because the weight of embarassment was too intimidating?

For example, once I read a thread about a hikkomori who hadn't left his room in several years. He said that the longer he stayed, the harder it became to come out, because coming out meant admitting he was wrong. It would've meant facing his parents and taking responsibility for his problems. He lacked the courage to do it so instead he continued to be a shut-in which only furthered his own problems. On an intellectual level, he understood that even though he had problems, even though he might not have consciously decided to become that way, that it was all his fault, and the guilt of this knowledge ripped apart at him.
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>> No. 11843 [Edit]
When I was kid/teenager used to do things like this a lot. I was forcing myself to do things I didn't want to do but I still did. After I grew up and gained some confidence, I feel everything I do is right.
>> No. 11844 [Edit]
I'm never wrong, and never is anyone else!

You can't change the past and you can't make other people change. You can't even make yourself change.
>> No. 11848 [Edit]
Same here, I was about to lead myself off a cliff until I woke up and realized how much shit I was forcing myself to like. Back then I was afraid of being different even though inside I knew how different I was then every normal out there. I was killing myself in the worst way possible back then, trying to be what I'm not. But due to being so mentally ill I can't even function correctly on my own pretending to be a normal I would have ended up being spit out by society either way but just in an even more miserable state than I already was. I have actually not changed one bit mentally over the years I just found out more about myself and became more true to myself and stopped caring about what anyone thought about me as I grew more intelligent. The song will always remain the same for me.
>> No. 11850 [Edit]
I don't have trouble with this because I do not have much pride. I have no problem with acknowledging my faults and every mistake.

I've been wrong so many times that I just don't care any more.
>> No. 11854 [Edit]
I can't get along with people who can't admit when they are wrong. It itches me to think that someone can't do the same as me and admit when they are wrong and just move along with their newfound knowledge. If I am proven wrong, I am wrong, there is nothing wrong with that.
>> No. 12257 [Edit]
There is an element of this, but it's not the biggest trap causing me to be a hikikomori.

For example, I once went through a phase in 2009 where I convinced myself this was going to be the year I would finally turn normal. I even started looking through job adverts online. But one of the first hurdles would be how would I break this news to my parents? To suddenly announce that I "wanted" a job. Urrgh. Even writing those words now "i wanted a job" makes me cringe. The thought of wanting a job. Like wanting to be normal, or wanting to admit that you are wrong. Urrhgh.

I didn't have the courage to announce it to my parents in the end. Like I had built up this reputation of being unemployed and now I can't ever break that reputation because it has become my identity. Jobs were always something that other people did. People with friends who needed a job to pay for going out and partying. I never had friends or went partying, therefore I concluded that I didn't need a job to pay for that stuff. I kind of hoped my parents would raise the subject of me getting a job, and gently encourage me and help me to in the right kind of way, but they never did. It was like I was waiting and waiting. But they never did. I was waiting for my parents to rescue me from hikikomori, deep down I must have thought they would never let me sink so low, but they did. Then 8 or so years in to hikikomori, I realised my parents weren't even capable. If they were capable, then I wouldn't have ended up like this for so long. I was relying on people that couldn't be relied upon.

But there is another part of my life, where #1 biggest problem in my life is being continued mostly by me being too proud to admit I'm wrong. It's like I'd rather die than admit to being wrong. I'm in so deep and heavily entrenched in to it, it's like I can't change now because it would invalidate all the years I spent with the problem. It would mean that I went through all that suffering for nothing.

Probably like how the USA government has to keep troops in Iraq/Afghanistan even though they know it's wrong and they've killed so many people in the process, it's like if they pulled out, it would mean all those people died for nothing.

So if I admitted my problem was wrong my whole life, it would be like I had killed my own life for nothing. All that sacrifice and self inflicted punishment for nothing.
>> No. 12266 [Edit]
I have the same belief as you. I believe 'normal' people refuse to admit their mistakes because they believe doing so will make them inferior, and inferior people to them are treated unfavorably by others.

I believe people not in the 'normal' spectrum can not be in the wrong because they aren't; how can you consider something right or wrong when you only have one reference point? That in my opinion is the way to achieve ultimate happiness however it is not for everyone.
>> No. 12289 [Edit]
"Anybody who has traveled this far on a fool's errand," said Salo, "has no choice but to uphold the honor of fools by completing the errand."

The very fact that I had this written down somewhere speaks for itself. Not to mention I realizd as much long before I've read that. The pride of all fools all over the world is at stake here, I can't just admit 'I'm wrong' as it were nothing. Serious business.
>> No. 12350 [Edit]
I admit I'm wrong, I'll be the first to call me a dumbass for a mistake I make and to put the blame on me, but I'm a proud, stubborn fool so I keep doing it anyway
>> No. 12911 [Edit]
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>once I read a thread about a hikkomori who hadn't left his room in several years. He said that the longer he stayed, the harder it became to come out, because coming out meant admitting he was wrong.

Firstly, I thought:

Shit, I think this is pretty much it. If I was to leave this room behind to "go get back my life", what all these years and abdication of people had been for? What the hell was doing this for, if my best outcome is to admit it was pointless and go back right to were I start, but much older and lonely? No, fuck it, I won't leave this place until something comes up from this or I die, whatever comes first...

But, on a second thought, denial is not what keeps me on this place and state. I have effectively devoted my entire life to something before, even though I could pretty much see, for years, that it was an almost sure deadline. What finally allow me to throw it all away and never come back, was precisely the final conviction that not just what I was doing but the way I was thinking and the values I held were utterly wrong; and for that radical change of mind, what I needed was a totally new refernce or standard to compare with and to move towards (i.e. to finally move forward), which at the time arrived by coincidence as none of what I was doing by will could possibly lead me to it.

So no: if I'm still doing this it's because, inconvenient and suicidal as it may be, there's still nothing that can prove it axiologically wrong... And that sucks, because I really think I want to get the hell out here already, but there's still nowhere to fly to (and I am NOT fucking going back, never, whatever that joyful but provenly wrong past may bring).

What do you think?
Am I wrong, thinking like this?
>> No. 12912 [Edit]
Nothing wrong with being wrong
>> No. 12914 [Edit]

it's a problem for society when the inhabitants want to withdraw permanently from it, to avoid it at all costs.

Blaming the victims, and even pressuring the victim to do so to themselves is aiken to using two bandaids to reconnect a severed leg. It doesn't even attempt to address the problem, and in the Japanese tradition, attempts to sweep it under the carpet because Japanese culture is perfect and harmonious and only extreme outliers that deserve to be expunged say otherwise.

Of course, as the saying goes, it's going to get worse before it gets better.
>> No. 12941 [Edit]
Sometimes, I feel my lifestyle is the product of not being able to admit I'm wrong. I feel like I made a decision as a teenager where being this way is right, and that I've become so embedded into this life so deep that admitting defeat now is useless and stupid. I think like that to make sure I'm still considering all the possible choices in my life. I'm not wrong though, because when I think about the other lives I could've had, I don't think I would be as happy as I am now (but that is still shaky ground, as of course, I wouldn't know for sure how I'd be if I lived differently). I just don't like dwelling on the past and if I made a mistake, I might as well deal with it now. Regrets are toxic.
>> No. 12952 [Edit]
Sometimes I'm really aggressive about whatever I might be discussing, so that when I turn out to be wrong, it's really humiliating to admit it.
I admit it anyway, even if that thing happened the day before and I only found out when I did some reading on my own that night.
>> No. 12965 [Edit]
I was wrong in areas of my thoughts about life all through my life but I just accepted, changed what was wrong, and kept on going. You shouldn't always focus on your mistakes, just correct what you can and keep perfecting yourself. You should also never accept defeat, don't change just because everyone wants you to. I don't care if every human on the planet hates you. Never change yourself, just evolve.
>> No. 12977 [Edit]
Often I find myself arguing against someone, and then find out that I was in the wrong some time after the event. It would be best for me to be brave and go up to them and admit it, but I usually don't. I just privately acknowledge it to myself and move on.

I also frequently deliberately say false things in an argument to see if a person truly knowledgeable in that field would catch me out. I almost never get caught out.
>> No. 13045 [Edit]
I've never had any trouble admitting that I was wrong, I don't have enough pride to consider it below me.

If anything, I do it too easily. I'm too quick to accept the blame for an argument where both sides were at fault, so even if I apologize for my part in it, the other person doesn't get a chance to, so the issue is never actually resolved.

It's a problem that's ruined more than a few of my relationships.
>> No. 13096 [Edit]
I had a hairstyle that I absolutely hated for four years because I felt like I couldn't change it. When I was in school, I felt like even if I wanted to start being talkative with people, I couldn't because I had the reputation of never talking. I have never really been able to improve myself because improving means I would have to admit to everyone that my current self is wrong. For a while I wanted to work out, but living with my parents, I couldn't let them know— so I did it in secrecy. I don't know why I'm this way but it makes my life a lot worse.
>> No. 13097 [Edit]
I wanted to post a screencap of Asuka yelling at Shinji about this, because I've seen it happen in real life. However, I'm too lazy to actually go and find a proper screenshot.
And it does ruin relationships. Everyone hates people like us.

I hate when parents make a big deal out of shit, so you try your best not to ever change anything they might notice. "Oh, you're reading today! What drove this behavior?" "I saw you talking to a giiiiirrrrrllllll! Do you like her? What's her name?" "What, you want to get a haircut that doesn't give you a cowlick? But you've always had that haircut! Why change it now?"
>> No. 13098 [Edit]
I hate this shit too. I need to change myself in silence if I ever want to make any changes to myself. I also can't do anything related to my personal life around them because they will attack me with false assumptions and arguments for that too. They are always assuming things about me they know nothing about like they know what's best for me or know everything about me. You should see the shit I got years ago for changing the way I eat and exercise so I wouldn't become a fatass like my father. I still can't completely change it to my liking since it would cause even more fights about things that don't concern them. I also always get the "that's not like you! Why would want to be doing that?" and the "Hey you going on a hot date with your 3DPD?" <-- around other people that know nothing about me, when this person is just a friend I had and we hung out for the night. My Haruhi, I wonder what's going to happen when they find out I'm actually gay when I can't hide it anymore from them. I'm going to have to fight for my life because the weight of all the false assumptions that will instantly get thrown at me since they believe they know everything about me and don't want me to ever be myself might kill me.

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