My parents mention college or jobs sometimes but they never really push the issue because I think they know how I am. They are also fully aware how ashamed of myself I am and I don't think they want me to feel bad. The other day my mother was telling me that I wasn't a burden on them at all because one of my relatives was telling me to go to college a few weeks ago.

Post edited on 29th Jun 2012, 12:46pm

OP, maybe let them know you're depressed/anxious/whatever so you can contextualize why you're isolated. Sometimes it helps explain things.

My parents had a similar "talk" with me last year, but they wanted me to go to college instead.
I said "yeah ok i'll try"

And now here I am on college, like they wanted to. I still feel like a piece of shit, but in retrospect, it was a better decision to just go to fucking college instead of just leeching them off at home doing nothing. I would still feel terrible either way, and I couldn't bear much longer the guilty of being a parasite in the family.

My parents never really had that kind of talk with me. I was pretty much left to figure things out myself.

>>10957
That is part of the plan. My parents aren't big on "that psychology bullshit" as my dad once put it, so I'm hoping they'll listen once I seriously tell them I have problems.

>>10958
I went to college for a semester, for psychology ironically enough, but couldn't go to classes enough so my parents withdrew me. My parents just blamed it on the 'laziness I've always had.'

>>10959
My mother did the same thing for me, except that when I messed something up she would always scold and insult me as if it were something that I was supposed to know before hand.

College/university isn't that bad, if you have subjects that don't really make you interact much. Most of my time in school was pretty solitary which was really nice.

>>10964
It seems like in my country there is this trend of focusing on team work, whatever subject you choose you will end doing this shit because they decided you need this kind of skill to get a job.
Things would be much easier for me if I didn't had to do a group work every month.

>>10959
Neither did mine, which is why I'm so clueless.

Funniest part is they ask me every week why I don't have a GF. Sometimes I wonder if they are blind to my appearance.

>>10964
But it is.
Any science/math major will require you to interact with ridiculous amounts of normals, not just in group projects but in oral presentations.

I'm afraid I'll have no job at the end of this science degree and I'll be trapped on the postgrad studies treadmill.

I wish I could tell my parents to stop hoping I'll ever amount to anything and that I'll just kill myself soon. It'd be amazing if we could tal about it normally.

OP here.

My parents are entirely disappointed in me. They didn't say it, but even I could pick up on the feeling. I feel really good though. I haven't felt this good in a long time.

I'm afraid that I'll never get anywhere in the coding world, and programming for a living is pretty much my only goal in life.

I could've had that "early start" advantage since I started coding at 13, but I never released anything, just made programs for myself. On top of that I never had any friends to support my hobby, like give ideas on what to write or something like that.

>>11039
Are you me?

Ever since I was a dumb kid, coding sounded like the perfect thing to me. I mean, working with machines and getting paid for it, and not having to deal with people? Oh, how naive I was in that regard.

Hell, I started toying with BASIC from about 8 years of age, and always did well academically (since, well, no friends and sheltering parents gave me not a whole lot else to do). I wanted to make my parents proud, or at least make myself proud that I could live comfortably and have enough money to indulge my hobbies with minimal interaction with normals, yet that motivation kinda fizzled out as I went to one of the better engineering schools in the nation to study computer science and realized I wasn't such a special snowflake after all.

>>11039
This is me, too.

I'm don't know any programming, but if I've already posted something like that, then I'll just end this by saying that I still don't know any programming.

>>11039

If you're good enough at programming, try freelancing your skills...that's what I've always done.

>>11053

How do you know that you're good at programming? I learned Java and C but I can't find any way to apply them.

I'm currently living in constant fear of the talk. My mum's not said anything to me about getting a job or going to college for a few months, so I'm doing as much as possible to avoid talking about it. It's too late to apply to a college now, so I'd have to somehow get a job. I've never worked before, and I even stayed home during the work experience week at school. There are no reasons to employ me over anyone else.

I think the problem is that she thinks I'm a normal who just happened to do nothing after leaving school and just happens to enjoy locking myself away. I'd like to say that I've been depressed for ages and have no skills whatsoever. I can't function in the outside world. I don't even have a credit card. I've never been on public transport myself. I've never owned a mobile phone. I'm terrified of meeting people. I'd like to tell her that I have never had any idea what I'm going to do. The fact she expects me to be able to just blend into society after hiding away for years just makes me even more scared of trying.

I can tell she's been disappointed in me for years. If only should could lower her expectations even more, then I could continue to be a completely worthless piece of shit until I kill myself in the near future.

>>11056
Think of ideas on what to write. I have to warn you though, coming up with ideas can be tough unless you're creative. That's why I wish I had friends back then to help me with that.

By the way, I think we ought to take this to /mt/ or something so it doesn't derail the thread.

not OP but the day that I have been fearing for a long time has finally come. My parents are going to kick me out within a week and they won't buy into any excuses. My dad already said he doesn't care what I do because its my life that I'm living and only I can make decisions on it. He's tired of babysitting and called me an indicisive loser. deep down I agree with him cause I really screwed up.

So far my choices are either to sign up for the military or get a job. I'm planning to get the tiniest room I can afford and consider my choices, although I might go to a recruiter later in the week to find out more about it.

If I go the way of the job, then I have a few thousand dollars saved up so I'm sure that'll last me for a while if I live with barely minimum expenses.
I don't really have a lot of stuff to store so ideally I can get a tiny room with a kitchen/bathroom and that'll be enough for a bit but the money will run out in a 8-9 months even if I don't have any other bills like electricity, etc.
how can I make my money last as long as possible?

I kinda wish I haven't left college, I would have probably had a normal life like everyone else in this world

>>11062
Sucks bro

I say beg and live on the streets or something. You should do it someplace where your parents go often (eg, near their work, or in front of a favorite restaurant, or at their grocery store). If they're religious go to their church and talk with the pastor about how they threw you out. Both of those methods will make them feel bad about their decision and could possibly support you even if it doesn't scare them into taking you back in.

Go to your library and get a library card / Internet card and find local homeless shelters. You'll need a place to sleep and get food as well as a place to get online, if you're still unable to find a job. DON'T sign up for the military, no matter how appealing it looks. You will fucking hate it and it's likely it'll make you kill yourself. I know two dudes online who've killed themselves in it, it's so fucking depressing.

Good luck bro, keep us updated

>>11062
We're with you, friend.

Listen, I know that my time is coming soon too, and I know that I will have to get a job of sorts. I have been looking into the cheapest rooms (basements) I could find in an area that I want to live in, and I calculated that if I got a decent job, I'd have to just work two times a week. I compared it side by side with school and how I used to have to "work" five days a week, so it's better in a way.

I dislike how the system works so, so much, and I definitely could say that I'd rather kill myself than work, but it turns out my will to live is slightly stronger than my will to resist slavery.

Believe in yourself, and let us know how things turn out.

>>11062

Find yourself a job if you can. Even the military can be an option; there are plenty of "regular" jobs there. If that is no good, maybe you can find some state assistance to help out.

I had to make it on my own from around the age of 15. It's definitely not easy, but you can do it if you really really try. Don't listen to the crap above about going homeless and begging, just one night on the streets will be an awful experience.

Good luck. I wish you the best.

I got a shitty 2-year history degree from a shitty community college. No job. How unsurprising.....

Why don't you give a job try? Or would it hurt your neet pride(not trying to be offensive, just feel some people think working would be disgusting or something)? Try discuss with your parents, what are your reasons for not being 'fine' and how you think you would be able good job for you. If your parents really love you, they are willing to help you, but you need to have your own motivation too.

>>11086
I lost all motivation a long time ago. I browse a couple imageboards and check my email (nothing new in 2 years) everyday, as well as hop on Runescape every day purely because it is all mindless habit. I skim the imageboards and mindlessly click in the same pattern for hours on end for no reason at all except I've been doing it for years.

A job isn't suited for me I think.

>>11109
Same, except replace runescape with whatever my game of the month is

I don't know why its so hard for me to get a job. As I stay unemployed for yet another year, I see bogans and lebanese delinquents land jobs all the time. What do they have which I don't besides not being socially retarded. Is this one thing that important?

>>11112
I notice that too, I think getting a job is really just dependent on how someone likes you and almost everyone hates me in the back of their minds in a work environment. So I'm never gonna get a job unless someone finds a way to sneak me into one. No matter how hard I try to act "professional" in the workplace I'm just too stupid to act like anything else other than my strange, retarded self. I don't know what to do with my life anymore, I just live day to day not even thinking about work because it's something that will never have a place in my life no matter how much everyone wants to shove it in my life. Trying to get me into a job is like trying to turn a bird into a fish, it's not going to happen. I don't know why my parents expect they can change me. It didn't work over 4 years ago and it isn't going to work now. But in a way I'm kinda happy about my life in the back of mind as it is. It may be nothing more than a failed science experiment but in my life I've found enough meaning to say that's that and keep going till I kill myself or something kills me. The same person I was 4 years ago is the same the person I am now and always will be. Some things evolved in me but nothing has really changed completely. While everyone else is so far away from what they once were you can't even recognize them anymore I'm still standing here as I always was happy as a clam down to the clothes I wear. I'm happy in my familiar misery and find meaning in life through it.

I managed to hold a job for about 2 weeks. It was dreadful, so I quit.

>>11109
I don't understand then why you are complaining.

>>11122
I didn't think I was complaining. Sorry.

Though I am wondering why you think doing the same thing mindlessly everyday is good.

>>11129
>Though I am wondering why you think doing the same thing mindlessly everyday is good.
>I browse a couple imageboards and check my email (nothing new in 2 years) everyday, as well as hop on Runescape every day purely because it is all mindless habit. I skim the imageboards and mindlessly click in the same pattern for hours on end for no reason at all except I've been doing it for years.

If you think it isn't good, why you keep doing same thing everyday?

Anyway I don't understand point of this thread. Seems OP here asking advice but impossible to give advice if he thinks he doesn't have any problem.

>>11130
Honestly, I can't tell you exactly why I do the same stuff every day. I am in autopilot 90% of the time I am awake, the other 10% devoted to thinking up responses to posts and choosing what to eat. I just can't stop doing what I do for some reason.

About OP, he seems like he posted the thread hoping for a confidence boost is all. The thread to me seems more about dealing with fear at this point.

>>11131
I do the same things I have been doing for about 3 years straight now too. I've hit the wall. From the process of going through my day and decisions I make to the small handful of games I play along with all of the music I listen to. I'm frozen in time and I like it because it comforts me. And yes I'm also drowning in fear when I can't find any way to escape my reality.

Not anymore. I am extremely lucky that i have very good mother that is very sacrificing for me and my irrelevant problems. If i was in her place, i would have already given up hope. Also i live in North European welfare paradise, so i have nothing to fear financially. Worst thing that can happen is that they cut my welfare by 30%, but i can still live with that.
Now i am aiming to get early retirement, so i start to get pension instead of welfare. After that i can just curl up in my 19m2 apartment and wait death due old age.

>>11153
> i live in North European welfare paradise, so i have nothing to fear financially. Worst thing that can happen is that they cut my welfare by 30%, but i can still live with that.
Now i am aiming to get early retirement, so i start to get pension instead of welfare. After that i can just curl up in my 19m2 apartment and wait death due old age.

I'm jealous. My life is probably going to end after my parents die and I am left with no options in life at all. Preferably sooner

>>11154
I am extremely fortunate to have a mother that would take a loan and buy an apartment, just so she can rent it to me. Now i have really low rent and government pays like 80% of it. Also if i miss a payment, i won't be kicked out. When my mother dies i will inherit this apartment. Also to live in such a country that makes living possible without doing anything makes me really lucky. It also makes me feel even more like shit knowing that i don't deserve any of this. If some day my mother decides to kick me out to the streets to die or the government decides that feeding such a leech as myself isn't worth it, i won't blame her or the government. Everything i get in life is just a bonus and i don't really deserve any of this.

Depression has already integrated so deeply to my personality, that i don't see how i might become productive member of society. Currently i am just floating and waiting to something to happen, really indifferent do i die tomorrow or 60 years later. I am not suicidal though. I used to be, but then i in some weird way got used to it and now i am pretty much indifferent towards everything when i am not feeling guilty.

>>11155
Like the person above said my life will end whenever my parents lives end, you are very lucky indeed. I have no clue how to even go about living on welfare or anything similar to that, I'm just that stupid. I do thank my parents though all this time for putting up with my worthless ass. Don't know why I'm alive, I just exist for the little pleasure I can dig out of it from time to time.

>>10976
If you have a fucking science degree that makes you employable. Way more than me and my shitty associates in history.

i think i will be kicked out of university because i'm a piece of shit, or i'll drop out anyway. i like the subject of the course, but my lazy, misanthropic ass can't handle all the work and socialization they expect of me. i fucking hate going to school.

i don't know what the fuck I'll do if it does happen. i'm not good at anything. maybe i'll drink myself to a coma, or might as well kill myself already while i'm at it, what is the fucking point.

>>11172
>I like the subject of the course, but my lazy, misanthropic ass can't handle all the work and socialization they expect of me. i fucking hate going to school.

I know exactly how you feel. I was informed just yesterday that the bulk of my final grade for one course would be made up of group assignment work culminating in a speech. I just want to have all the course content laid out in a single book which I can use to study for a test at the end of semester. I'm so tired of the brain-numbing anxiety that comes about when I'm forced to socialise. I want to learn and I can't. I feel like just killing myself to get away from all of this.

>>11169
A bachelor of science means different things in different countries. In the USA which I'm guessing is where you're from, it means you studied in either engineering, computer science, mathematics, economics or natural sciences. Here in Australia, it means you studied science- as in, actual science, the natural sciences. For me, its biology. I've heard horror stories of how competitive it is and how many graduates are there compared to jobs. It scares me. The marks I gained last semester were disappointing and I need to seriously step it up.

In the past I've discovered just how destructive and counter-productive it can be to put enormous amounts of pressure on myself to succeed. Nowadays I avoid it like the plague, opting instead to work consistently and conscientiously towards my goals as early as possible to get a head start. I won't go back to the pressure cooker scenario until I've gained my confidence back. The problem is that I need to have a detailed understanding of where I am heading and what I should do so I can act on them early on. I'm not very comfortable with respect to this.

Early on in this year I began assisting a professor with his research. I've learned a lot from this, learned many things the rest of the cohort hasn't. But I'm not capitalising on it as much as I should. I find it so hard to ask him about what the future holds for students like me. Its so hard to look him in the eye. However, this could all be gone in a day. I could simply decide to stop the bullshit and talk properly. But it takes courage, which I don't have yet.

Its just like with my waifu. She acts like a bitch to everyone but deep down inside shes actually very kind. She gets trapped by her past, shes afraid to drop the appearance and just let her hair down and be friends with the other girls, because it involves making herself vulnerable and admitting that she made a mistake.

>>11172
I am never going to back to school. I couldn't even completely handle high school. I would fail instantly, like after the first month I would be out. That is if I can even get in, in the first place. I'm the kind of useless idiot that can't even drive without almost killing himself every time.

>>11185
if it makes you feel better, I can't drive at all because it stresses me out too much. In high school, when the teacher was picking people out to go with the driving instructor and picked me, I felt like I was going to the gallows

>>11182
I had no idea there were so many Australian's on this website. Perhaps if the big Bluey in the sky wills it, our paths will cross and we can talk about clackers, prawns and Frankston over a can of West End.

It's the end of the first Summer since I got out of high school last Summer and the pestering is going to escalate for a couple months or maybe even less. I'm so lucky my mother works at a school because soon when the normal school year starts she'll have more important things on her mind than me so she can act like I don't exist for a while. I've never been so excited over being about to be ignored to death.

The miserable state of my mother is the luck of mine.

Not pushing too much, because she is working 6 days a week and has health problems.

I am not making any hypocritical thoughts, excuses etc. like most of you.
I see it as it is.
I am a leech (26 years short of 1 month) and that's the only way i can live.
Not even i can apply for welfare, because too much "assburger".

Either death or this here.

I was about to give up all hope and think I'd never get a job, but now it turns out I can work for my dad (I'd be dedicated on-site/on-call tech support for him because he works from home on his computer and has to do stuff over the internet but he doesn't know much of anything about technology, so I have to fix/do everything for him which isn't his actual investment-related work... I used to do this stuff for free, but now he'll pay me to do it full-time). I have useful skills, knowledge, and education (not trying to sound cocky about my skills; I know I have a ton of deficits as well, so I hope I don't sound cocky or arrogant), but no people skills.

No resume, job interview, or social interaction are required for this position, and I'm comfortable around my dad. And I'd be paid quite well, so even after he retires I'll still have money to support myself. My plan is to live really cheaply and save up a majority of the money which my dad will pay me. I don't buy anything or go out to eat. I cook cheap food and don't require much other than an internet connection. So even after this job is over once he retires, I (hopefully) won't have to worry about getting another one. I can just retire and continue to live cheaply.

I feel so fucking lucky.

I was seriously considering suicide until this happened. My mom deeply hates me and has threatened to kick me out so many times, and I have no money or friends to go to. But now that my dad has offered me this position, I can live.

Some of you should try and do the same thing -- see if you have any family members who are sympathetic to your problems and see if they can get you "connections" and get you a job which isn't stressful and won't require the usual processes involved in getting a job. You may or may not be successful, but it's worth a shot anyway. You never know, maybe someone will be really nice and help you.

>>11277
I don't ever want a job.

>>11279
Not all of them are as bad as you might think.

For example, I enjoy building computers, setting up networks, messing around with GNU/Linux distros, shell scripting, etc. and I'll get to do a lot of that stuff with this job.

As Confucious said, "choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

>>11277
No one in my family is. I do some wood work the backyard for my dad but I don't get paid and it just benefits a bunch of people. Everyone just laughs at my problems (I was never taken seriously before in my life either anyways by them.) or when they aren't doing that they're just harassing me and really annoying the shit out of me. They will intentionally do the things that I can't stand most just to get a inevitable knee jerk reaction from me so they can get mad at me and tell me how terrible I am. They probably are doing this just because they know I'm not going to be doing anything and want me to snap on them so I can be sent off somewhere so they won't have to see me ever again.

>>11280
>Not all of them are as bad as you might think.

Well, given if you are really educated ofc there are many possibilities.

But every other jobs suck.
You work hard to get nothing.

I'm finally trying to look for a job but I'm a high school drop out with no experience.

What kind of places should I try to apply?
I'd really hate to get a fast food job as it seems there would be too many people to deal with.

>>11362

Just say you graduated, no employer will check. Then in your spare time work on studying for a GED...they are really easy.

>>11363
I got a GED when I dropped out 4 years ago.

Anyways sending online applications have had some personality testｓ, all of the questions are brutally one sided towards extroversion. Though of course I answered with what I thought they would want to see.

>>11367
well it an extroverts world after all, isn't it?
I mean if you were an employer for a business you'd probably hire some extroverted, very communicable and social type person who could get along with other employees and all
I think most employers are probably not willing to take a chance on an introverted loner type when they can just hire someone who's the complete opposite of that

>>11372
Depends on job. Extroverted people are indeed better for work which requires communiction skills. But extroverted people tend to be bad in jobs like researcher or programmer where you need to good concentration and you will spend much time alone.

But yeah, most jobs are suited for extroverted people.

I'm so useless that it doesn't look like I'll ever get a job.

Even if I somehow got one, is it possible to live alone on min. wage?

Post edited on 19th Aug 2012, 1:17am

>>11405
If it was, I'd be soooooo gone from here. if you're lucky you'd be able to find a place you could just barely pay for, but then you'd have no money from bills or food or whatever.
Maybe if you get two jobs

>>11405
What the person above me said, it definitely isn't so either way you're trapped but hey if you get a job you have a little more money on the side to do what you want with. My mother is taking me to get more applications on Thursday. Employers usually never even call me back. But right now I hope I don't get a job for at least a month, I have some things to order online and want to be home so everyone doesn't start looking through my stuff or asking what I got. Oh the embarrassment of last time I got something "personal" in the mail and my mother couldn't resist not minding her own business. But on the bright side there is the lowest possible chance any employer would even want to look at me. I think the next couple weeks I should get as sleep deprived as possible so they really don't like the way I look and act and don't take me. I don't fit in anywhere, I don't even ever have anything to say at an interview. My answer to everything is I don't know.

>>11406
>>11450
>a little more money on the side to do what you want with
Yes, even if I won't be able to find some cheap appartment that would be nice. Anyways I got an adderall prescription recently and it seems like it'll be a huge help to getting a job/being forced around people.

So what do you guys think about volunteer work？ Is it something worth looking into?

Maybe for some experience "working", and to test out if these drugs will help with anxiety.

>>11454
You don't really get anything out of it. So you wouldn't see me doing it. But in your case if that's your reason go ahead. I doubt the standards of a place where you don't get payed are any more than your average grocery store or fast food place. In fact maybe even less.

>>11405
Depends. I know of people doing that.

>>11454
Do it if you think you might enjoy it.