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10833 No. 10833 [Edit]
Do you like blaming your parents for your upbringing?
I'm 22 now, and even though my mother doesn't micro manage my life anymore, for some reason I still have a very poor relationship with her. I can't bring myself to say no to anything she says. I want to move out but she won't let me. It's impossible to win an argument against her.
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>> No. 10834 [Edit]
I partially blame them. Their actions caused a lot of problems, and I certainly blame them for that. But we are also prone to our own weaknesses, either at fighting against it or attempting to surpass it. Mine were abusive in every way imaginable, and as a result I never really got to know them. I left them at an early age, and never much spoke again.
>> No. 10835 [Edit]
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Nah, my parents were fine. Me being the failure I am is entirely due to my own shortcomings as a person. My sister received the same upbringing and turned out just fine. The only way I can think that they adversely affected me is that I'm distrustful of women and place little value in relationships because of things my mother did, but that's just something everyone learns at some point anyway.
>> No. 10836 [Edit]
Sort of. My parents divorced when I was about 4, and I was left with my mom to raise me. And I don't think single mothers do a very good job at raising sons, especially my mom.

I get the feeling that I would have been better off if I had grown up with my dad around. He's a good guy, but I find it hard to talk to him for some reason.
>> No. 10837 [Edit]
No. They raised me and my sister more or less the same way and she grew up to be successful and happy until the day she died.
>> No. 10838 [Edit]
Anyone with an ounce of willpower or intelligence would have thrived in my childhood environment

too bad they got me
>> No. 10839 [Edit]
Well, I did go through a bit of abuse other things.

I don't blame them entirely or care enough to blame them, despite the fact that my existence is nothing more than a stupid mistake.

I wish I didn't exist.
>> No. 10840 [Edit]
I tried to for a while because I thought it'd make me feel better but it didn't work out. No matter how I look at it everything is my fault. There's a limit to how delusional I can be and blaming others for my own failures is outside my reach.
>> No. 10841 [Edit]
This is basically my case, I don't completely blame them either but my extremely violent and loud when angry mother didn't exactly make me any better. I look back sometimes and see that the only reason I didn't fight back was because even then I knew I was too stupid to live on my own. I have some mini violent psychotic episodes even now I can keep under control thankfully. Only other things they did was nearly keep me on a leash, even if I was able to make friends easily, I was never able to have them unless they "approved" of them. And when it comes to relationships and actually having a love life at home even if it didn't effect them besides just bringing us places because my useless, retarded ass can't even drive a car was entirely considered disgusting to them for various reasons. I still am chained down by them for the most part with nowhere to go, they lightened up a bit now that I'm older but I still feel like a family pet. I was always a fuck up, it was pretty apparent from the second I entered kindergarten that I wasn't like the others and not in a good way. I was born with a brain the equivalent of scrambled eggs.
>> No. 10842 [Edit]
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Just a bit. I love my parents very much, they've never tried to control or stifle me, and leave me free to pursue my own interests and hobbies. But sometimes I wish they'd have a little... less faith in me, you know? They let me do whatever I want believing that I'll find a passion and pursue it, but all that's really happened is I've gotten too used to sitting around all day playing video games and watching anime, which, while lovely, sort of makes it difficult to muster up the ambition to do anything else.

I just want them to tell me to go get a fucking job or something. At least I've started helping out with the housework, maybe I can become a live-in maid.
>> No. 10843 [Edit]
Nah, my sister turned out okay. But I've definitely been unnaturally scared of other people and sensitive to things like loud noises and people touching my chest as long as I can remember. I think it might have something to do with me being born premature.
>> No. 10844 [Edit]
My father died when I was young and my mother did her best. She is a lot better than many parents I have seen in my life. I know it's my fault that I've become such a useless person. I'm selfish, so I don't wish that I wasn't born or anything, but if I could just... not have been anyone's son? Parents seem to feel obligated to love their children, and it's so unfair. I've done nothing to earn anyone's love, and I make her suffer because of it.
>> No. 10850 [Edit]
You described my situation pretty well. I can't stand up to my parents at all because they have been pretty much the perfect parents all my life.
I'm an intelligent guy so I did well in school without trying, which made them put so much faith in me. Then my 2 sisters and brother all finding their way in the world didn't help my cause at all.
My parents push me to work though, outside the house too. I have a job that is for 12 hours a week cleaning a church alone at night, but it isn't enough for them... I just want to let them know what I'm feeling and what I want to do, but they have all these high hopes for me still, I just can't bring myself to crash all that down and leave my parents in shambles about it.
>> No. 10851 [Edit]
A little bit. But not really, because my life in my responsibility now. I was the one who turned away from my own life, it was always atleast mostly my fault. I do think that I could have used better guidance when I was a kid, but yeah, this is all on my shoulders.
>> No. 10853 [Edit]
I'm only a product of my environment, but so are my parents. They didn't raise me as best as they could, but that's not their fault, so I have no reason to be upset with them. No matter how angry or sad we are, the past won't change...
>> No. 10857 [Edit]
I know that feeling all too well, though in my case my mother seems to actively be against me finding a job. She's big into alternative schooling and lifestyles, so she just wants me to "follow my dream" and be happy. Whenever I bring up getting a traditional job she sort of twists the conversation to downplay the need for one or points me back towards artistic or creative endeavors that I've expressed an interest in. She seems to think that I want to work out of obligation or because I'm giving up on my "dreams", and not because I'm incredibly uncomfortable letting her coddle me and need something to get my self-worth out of the shitter.

She's so relentlessly positive that I have no idea what to do to convince her that I might need some legitimate help with this, and so unconditionally supportive that admitting that I'm anything less than happy with my life feels like an ungrateful betrayal.

So I just ignore it all and go to bed.
>> No. 10860 [Edit]
I think you can only go so far blaming your parents... but they do play an enormous part in your upbringing.

My parents were considered strict, but I honestly wish my parents were more strict.

This is me, basically, except my parents were never married. My dad is really good at motivating me, and we share many interests.
>> No. 10874 [Edit]
>No matter how angry or sad we are, the past won'e change...
You sound like an anime.
>> No. 10892 [Edit]
Sure. I was doing so well until they seperated.
>> No. 10907 [Edit]
No. I am a piece of shit by my own "merits". They did what they could to try to change this, but they couldn't change what I am.

My brother had the same upbringing as I did and he is doing well.
>> No. 10908 [Edit]
>I can't bring myself to say no to anything she says.
>It's impossible to win an argument against her.

Holy shit. Are you me?

I wouldn't say I have a bad relationship with my parents and I definitely don't blame them for my failings, but that's not to say the dynamic between us falls short of dysfunctional.

Being completely honest with myself, I have to admit that at almost every terrible decision I have been faced with in my life, my mother gave me the right advice and I chose to ignore it.

So, this would be a simple fix it was only that simple. Listen to my mother, right? Maybe, but it isn't always easy. My mother is one of those people that doesn't always practice what she preaches, and has created an atmosphere in my childhood where I am unable to express negativity under threat of profound guilt trip and outright combative behavior. My Mom had a pretty rough life. So she views anyone else's problems as unworthy of consideration. Worse, I was always made to feel bad when I tried to unburden myself to her or express sadness or, Haruhi forbid, anger.

I've just kinda learned to accept her for her flaws and appreciate her for her qualities. She's not perfect, and that's OK. I am also definitely not perfect, and that kinda has to be OK, too.

Unfortunately, sometimes it isn't.
>> No. 10912 [Edit]
>My Mom had a pretty rough life. So she views anyone else's problems as unworthy of consideration. Worse, I was always made to feel bad when I tried to unburden myself to her or express sadness or, Haruhi forbid, anger.

I hate this.

Naturally when I became a NEET after finishing highschool she starting hating me. Things got a little bit better when I got a job but now I'm expected to work for 8 hours a day and then go to college for another 2 or 4. I'm not superman. She can't cope with her disappointment
>> No. 10924 [Edit]
For me the strangest thing happened that was the complete opposite. She stopped being a insane asshole to me for the most part when I got out of highschool last Summer. Besides the usual pestering about a job she knows in the back of her mind I will never be able to get, she doesn't say much to me anymore and I'm actually happy about that. I'm still chained down at home in some ways by her but at least she lightened up by realizing how I'm never going to change my self destructive ways after all these years I've been in school my entire life and that no amount of beating me up is going to help, in fact it only made me more fucked up. I always had a very negative view of the world my whole life and seeing the way all adults acted around me when I was very little, not just my parents made me go the opposite way in life. Total immaturity and staying with the mindset of a selfish pleasure chasing child my whole life. Whenever I hear the words mature and adult, I feel like throwing up. Absolutely everything about it all makes me disgusted.
>> No. 10925 [Edit]
>Do you like blaming your parents for your upbringing?
Yes, my mom was over protective and didn't let me do things by myself for a long time.
This caused me to become dependent on her for almost anything. When I grew older and she expected me to suddenly become independent just like my friends. I tried and crashed, hard.

Then she has the gall to blame me for this.

How can you work full time and go to college at the same time?
I tried doing this but found it impossible.
>> No. 10943 [Edit]
>under threat of profound guilt trip and outright combative behavior

I can relate. My mother handles guilt like a pro and it's literally impossible to disagree with anything with her because of her passive aggressive behavior. She dominates our whole family that way.
It's strange, because to other people, she is pretty submissive, yet she dominates me, my brother and my father like an iron fisted matriach using this kind of behavior.

But I digress.
>> No. 10982 [Edit]
My parents are okay. Its me who is the shitty person. But I'll try to inch closer to being someone worthy of being proud of every day.

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