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No. 10780
[Edit]
May be a TLDR but stick with me if you actually care.
I do my own things everyday, a lot of my life is spent in the house but I go out often on my own for walks and such. I have a single IRL friend right now and waiting to see that person for something I want through them is the only time that time feels like it's moving normally. Days usually go by either very slow or fast to me but mostly slow. But when I look back days, weeks, and months seem to blend together because nothing worth while out of the ordinary happened in them and I notice how much time has passed. I got out of high school last Summer, this year would be my first year all over again. What I find funny is that in a way when I look at the events in my life I feel that time is repeating itself. I've been living the same life over and over and over again in 4 year parts with a more evolved self. Then I see that they represent Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer. 4 years, 4 seasons, 4 phases till you find what you're truly satisfied with in life. Death, sleep, awakening, life. Until we are happy enough to let our own illusion of time move at a pace which we are comfortable we will be slaves to the number 4. Within these 4 years in any of our lives many tiny lives, tiny stories will take place cut into even smaller sections personally. We aren't just a single person living in our lives, we are many and we all have to complete each of those stories to be happy and live as one within all of them. How many there are is personal. It's like a game, where the reward for winning is purposeless and numb but satisfied existence. My soul crushing depression stems from being stuck in slowed down time in this loop due to neither of my major lives going anywhere and one is in a lot of pain while the other is satisfied.
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