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10675 No. 10675 [Edit]
I understand the need to hide away and the desire to disappear. I used to be like that. But I feel like, I don't hate myself so much anymore. My social anxiety and agoraphobia are awful. I feel like I have as much motivation to try as I'll ever have. I'm sorry, I don't mean to make this a blog style post, but I just figure I would put in why I'm making this thread. I figure if I could just be okay with the social aspects of holding down a job, it would be such a load of worry off my mind.

For those of you who have managed to obtain and hold down a job.. How did you do it? How do you continue to do it?
How are you at small talk? Do your co-workers like you? Do you have social anxiety/agoraphobia? How in the hell did you pass your interview?
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>> No. 10676 [Edit]
What made your desire to hide away and disappear go away? It sounds like you still have some of that if you're having a problem getting a job.

I've had a few part-time jobs before and I would say that I'm an anxious person. I worry myself sick all the time of trivial issues. As it is right now, can you spend any time around strangers or other people at all? Try going for walks, or try just saying "hi" to total strangers. I mean, it's not like it'll hurt you or anything... get over the fear that you'll be hurt or that something bad will happen if you can, I guess. I really don't know, you should try getting therapy Anon!
>> No. 10677 [Edit]
I have been working retail for almost six years now. It was hard as hell to get over my anxiety and actually get that job. I was hired literally on my 24th birthday. Don't let your age and lack of work experience get you down. You can still get hired if you act like you want the job.

I can deal with the people there, and even small talk a bit, thanks to how really repetitive working a cash register, stocking shelves and pushing in carts is. I don't even have to deal with anyone when I put bicycles together.

My coworkers don't like me all that much. I know they think I am weird. I am very quiet and awkward. Some are willing to talk on occasion, mostly about video games, computers, or what is on tv, but none really want to be friends. For the life of me I don't know how to make that connection.

It is funny that I have a job that least suits my personality. If I could drive, I would look into becoming a long-haul trucker.
>> No. 10679 [Edit]
just show up on time and do your work, I guarantee you wont be the worst person there. have some self confidence. I mean, look at some of the Ford Drivers who hold down jobs. anyone can do it.

job interviews suck but that goes for everyone, not just the socially awkward/social anxiety sufferers/weird guys.

>How are you at small talk? Do your co-workers like you?
pretty bad but I am improving.

>How in the hell did you pass your interview?
I was lucky enough to get hired on the spot because the company needed somebody to start ASAP. getting a job is mostly about luck and having connections.

>Don't let your age and lack of work experience get you down
agreed. but also keep in mind that it does get harder as you get older. be prepared to answer questions about gaps in your resume.
>> No. 10680 [Edit]
>but also keep in mind that it does get harder as you get older. be prepared to answer questions about gaps in your resume.

Just say that you were helping out with family. While it was somewhat true in my case, they don't need to know that it wasn't in yours if not. Seriously, I was 24 when I first started working.

I spend a lot of time with college kids that don't work. Teens? No one really hires them anymore. Getting out in the world is getting harder even for Ford Drivers.

I don't want you guys to give up. You can still go out and earn at least a few bucks to buy cool stuff you like. Your family probably knows that you aren't going to do the whole live on your own thing.
In much of the world that isn't even odd.

Post edited on 5th Jun 2012, 9:25pm
>> No. 10686 [Edit]
Unemployment is twice as high now as in 2006. ;_;

>Just say that you were helping out with family.
What does this mean? I'm sure they would ask me to elaborate.
>Your family probably knows that you aren't going to do the whole live on your own thing. In much of the world that isn't even odd.
The difference is, the standard includes getting a job and helping support your family.

Why would someone hire me when there are shit tons of people with experience and references they could hire? Or, failing that, people that would give tax breaks to the employer for hiring underprivileged people.

Post edited on 6th Jun 2012, 4:06am
>> No. 10689 [Edit]
I don't work but I want too. I'm too scared though. All I want is a job that I can do and live on my own with...but I bet that's impossible.
>> No. 10691 [Edit]
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Data entry

>How did you do it?
The company was hiring like crazy and I got lucky.

>How do you continue to do it?
I just listen tohno-chan threads, audiobooks or denpa music while working.

>How are you at small talk?
Bad. But I work with old people and they do not give a shit.

>Do your co-workers like you?
Dunno. I don't talk to people.

>Do you have social anxiety/agoraphobia?

>How in the hell did you pass your interview?
You don't pass an interview. If the company needs you they'll hire you irregardless of your past. If the interview gets too personal then it's just HR masturbating and you won't get anything anyways.

>Why would someone hire me when there are shit tons of people with experience and references they could hire?
I got hired along college graduates and people who have been working +20 years. Those things don't matter anymore. If they can crush your soul then you're in.

Oh and fake your references, no one really checks.
>> No. 10692 [Edit]
Well, I've had to support myself since my late teens, but I can still offer some perspective.
I never got the hang of faking small talk, and I don't even bother trying to anymore. The talking, in my experience, is far less important than listening. Pretending that what your coworkers are saying is interesting is fairly easy, and even if you only respond with monosyllabic affirmations, people will think you're just a nice quiet person. If you go to work and simply ignore everyone hoping they'll leave you alone, then people will likely think you're an arrogant asshole. And while it is nice in many ways to have everyone resent you and leave you alone in the workplace, it isn't really sustainable there.
Dealing with customers can be problematic, but I find that if you always remain polite, situations never become disastrous. I've also found that it's much easier if I sort of "depersonalize" customers and think of them simply as work tasks rather than personal affronts to my introversion. It also helps to arrive at work early so I can get my headspace into work mode before I have to deal with people much.
>> No. 10694 [Edit]
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My therapist referred me to this place that helps people with mental disabilities find work, and I've been going there since April. At first they put me in their clerical program, since they saw that my interests and skills mostly involve computers and sitting on my ass. But because of the social aspect of office work, and especially because my job involved answering phones, it quickly became apparent that this was not my calling.

So I talked with my boss about it, and I got myself transferred to their janitorial program. And you know, I'm really loving it so far. As a kid, I remember thinking a cool job would be cleaning up office buildings in the early morning, all by yourself; you can just throw on your headphones and tune the world out. It's simple, mindless work (so you can think about important stuff like anime while you're doing it), generally part-time, mostly solitary, mildly physical but not exhausting, and you get a real, immediate sense of accomplishment from it. After putting up with the misery of working in fast food since I was 14, I started to believe that ALL work was that kind of soul-killing torture, but there are so many different environments out there.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. My point is that working with a dedicated job-placement organization has made all the difference in the world. It helps relieve the pressure of fending for yourself as an abnormal in a world run by normals. There are folks out there whose entire job is to help socially-retarded people write resumes and survive interviews and, above all, find suitable work that won't make them go postal. Believe me, there is no way in hell I could ever have done this without that kind of assistance.
>> No. 10695 [Edit]
To those of you who were successful in landing a job: where did you look? Any websites or other resources you recommend? Did you have a resume? If so, what did you put on it?
>> No. 10696 [Edit]
>Did you have a resume.

I think that's mandatory these days.
>> No. 10712 [Edit]
OP here.
I had a really shameful past. A lot of factors (my own hand included) came together and really fucked me. It was mostly me fucking myself. I had really toxic, negative, self-destructive ways of thinking. I'm just coming out of it now, sort of. I'm trying to leave it behind. I was very depressed and apathetic for a very long time. I have a hard time putting on a mask, I'm really a terrible liar. I still feel hopeless and like shit sometimes, but really I'm the best I've ever been.

Thanks very much for all of your responses, I've read them all.
For those of you who have them, how did you go about actually getting your job? I mean, going up to an employee and telling them you'd like to apply. It just feels so unnatural. The reality of actually trying to place me, a stranger, within that work environment with those people. I still have awful social anxiety most of the time, but it won't get any better while I continue to stew here in my basement.
>> No. 10713 [Edit]
I think my ideal job would be working on an a farm or being shepherd or something. Some hard honest work would do good things. I worked a lot of jobs but disliked them all, you dont feel any connection to either the the work you do or the coworkers. I don't understand how people can put up working in one place with the same people year after year. That would probably drive me insane. After a while I would just get bored and quit and get another job.
A suggestion for people who never worked, or have nothing on their resume, just get a volunteer job or something where you can donate your time to a charity. Use that as your work experience and make sure to emphasize that you volunteered your time and everything
basically just show yourself as a 'good person' in the interviews, thats a really easy way
>> No. 10719 [Edit]
I've done odd jobs given to me by a recruiter for a few months now in an effort to build up my resume, and now been working as an office assistant in this one place for about a month now. Suffice to say, my work experience is very small, but I still feel I've learned a lot.

>How are you at small talk?

Awful. I don't talk to anybody unless it's something directly related to my work. Whenever someone initiates small talk with me, I smile and respond as thoughtfully as I can, but seeing as small talk has no interest to me, my responses are never very thoughtful. I eat lunch by myself in a picnic area near my work. Usually I'm completely alone and it is by a river with birds, geese, and a light breeze, so it's really nice.

>Do your co-workers like you?

I would venture to say no. They don't dislike me at all, but I've given them no cause to like me.

>Do you have social anxiety/agoraphobia?

Not been diagnosed or nothing, but I sincerely think so.

>How in the hell did you pass your interview?

No interview for this job, but in the interviews I have done in the past, the feedback I received later has been well. I apparently come across as quite intelligent, but I also come across as very rigid and reserved (all true observation). For certain scenarios, especially non-social artificial scenarios like interviews, I can throw the usual traits of social phobia to the side and act chatty, stare people in eyes for long periods, etc., so interviews have never been a problem.
>> No. 10723 [Edit]

I'd like to second this. Volunteer work is one of the best things you can put on a resume, even if it's just a few hours a week. To a potential employer, it says that you value doing good work and not just making money, even if that's not actually true.
>> No. 10724 [Edit]
When I try to get a job and they ask for a resume I'm gonna fax them a picture of the gold statue of my character in animal crossing that you get for paying off your house. They will be so impressed that I will get the job and an immediate raise
>> No. 10725 [Edit]

I bet if you sent that to enough people, you'd get a few real job offers. No joke. Some employers get hundreds of nearly-identical applications every day, and the ones they're actually going to pay any attention to are the ones that are somewhat witty and original, or otherwise stand out in some way.
>> No. 10743 [Edit]
I'm going outside to look for a job right now OP! I'll take notes on what I thought helped me or didn't help so I can post about it here.
>> No. 10745 [Edit]
I went to some thrift stores and applied. I hope I didn't come off as being too strange, it seems like a lazy job at one of those would be the best. A cashier was even smoking weed when I went into one. My kind of scene for sure.
>> No. 10746 [Edit]

Tsk, they call us unemployed people lazy, when many workers deliberately seek out low-intensity jobs which offer no contribution to the advancement of society, they cut corners, they outright cheat their customers, they sit and watch TV or browse the net. I'm no expert but I'd estimate that a significant percentage (at least economically significant - 3 to 5 percent is still a lot) are literally being paid for nothing. I mean really, most jobs could be done better by a simple computer.

So basically anybody that wants to blame welfare for their problems can all eat shit.
>> No. 10767 [Edit]
Luckily for me, my dad is the one in charge at work so he hired me himself. Unluckily for me, it's a screen printing facility and I have to deal with harmful chemicals and paint which is super annoying when you get some on you. My dad keeps pushing me and calling me useless. I didn't even want to work but was forced to work actually or else he would boot me from the house. I have to work fulltime and it is really soul crushing, I want to quit now!

Like many of the posts here, I only respond if someone asks or greets me. Everyone is pretty friendly and nice to me. I'd imagine some of the other workers may think I am incredibly rude but oh well, whatever. If you don't want people to bother you OP, just don't chat with them. That's all the advice I can give.
>> No. 10768 [Edit]
I finally have an interview today.
Wish me luck.
>> No. 10769 [Edit]
Good Luck!
>> No. 10782 [Edit]
Thanks, it went better than expected. One of the guys there was also completely socially inept, so that helped me relax a bit. Also I didn't get hit with any stupid questions about what things I do poorly.
>> No. 10785 [Edit]
I spent some time earlier this week applying for various jobs. It was an awful experience and I really hated it.

I went for what I thought would be shut in approved work. Tried some bookstores and bakeries and libraries stuff like that...anything that I gathered would have a chance.

I received no replies yet, though.
>> No. 10797 [Edit]
For those of you who have managed to obtain and hold down a job.. How did you do it?

For my first job I applied online... the interview was pretty simple (it's a sushi bar). For my second job, my school hooked me up.

The bar requires some talking but overall it's pretty quiet and slow. My second job makes me do phone calls and such but it's something i get used to.

I can small talk over basic things... I'm not really socially anxious unless I have to do things like give presentations.
>> No. 10802 [Edit]

I got a reply from a book store I applied at, but they required you to work the cash register and I'm deaf, so it would not have worked. However they said they'd keep my name on file, if in case in the future something came up where it would be no problem.
>> No. 10965 [Edit]
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OP here
My mom knows someone at a retirement home who got me an interview on monday. It's for a part time dishwasher position. I hope it goes well. I don't really like going outside my comfort zone, but if this goes horrible then I'm no worse off than I was before. Wish me luck
>> No. 10967 [Edit]

Good luck, man! I hope it works out for you.
>> No. 10985 [Edit]
File 134125340610.jpg - (195.21KB , 500x375 , 1340833619020.jpg )
OP here
I... I got the job.
>> No. 10986 [Edit]
Best of luck!
>> No. 10987 [Edit]

Good luck, man. Work is very scary at first, but just try your best. After a while, familiarity kicks in and it's not so bad.
>> No. 10988 [Edit]
To victory!
>> No. 10989 [Edit]
Don't let them take advantage of you.
>> No. 11010 [Edit]
Thanks anons. All I can do is my best
>> No. 11031 [Edit]
Congrats man. Going through my first job is actually what probably helped me with my social anxiety the most.

Just take it slowly and you'll eventually become used to it.
>> No. 11032 [Edit]
Dude, congratulations. You'll be fine, as long as it's something you're not terrible at. Having money for things is nice. As is not having to leech off your parents.

Have fun.
>> No. 11047 [Edit]
>How are you at small talk?
Terrible. Listening is a much more important skill, though. If you listen and ask questions about some detail in their lives, they will fill in the gaps. Don't know any detail? Ask them.

>Do your co-workers like you?
Yes, I was one of the most well liked people in the office

>Do you have social anxiety/agoraphobia?
I used to be very anxious in social situations, and speculated that I disliked people because I did not understand them. However, the more I lived, the more I realized that I am just a misanthrope. I believe this may just be a byproduct of living in the US, but as I've not lived elsewhere I cannot say for sure.

>How in the hell did you pass your interview?
I practiced focusing in on the relevant points listed in the job description. I also practiced commonly asked questions in an interview I had googled. Preparation will cut down your anxiety dramatically.

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