How I deal with most things, drugs or some other way to numb the feelings.

I don't really have a problem with shame since I just end up locking myself in my room and do enough things to forget about it.

This piece of shit mind of mine's can be a blessing...and a curse.

Substances are your best option. There's absolutely no way you're going to get over it sober. Even if you start doing meditation, it will take you a very long time before you're able to absolve it even a little bit.

I wallow in it for a while then realize everyone involved will eventually forget about it. Every time you remember something, the memory changes slightly. Nothing to do but realize it's not that big a deal. The sun will still rise and the Earth will still turn no matter what you do.

It's called social anxiety.
Shame you feel big enough to make you a recluse.

Sometimes I wish I could die when I remember about (thousands of) events that made me feel shame. I just try to forget it by doing something that distracts me from all the shit I've done, i.e browsing Internet and sleeping.

I really don't feel so much shame as I do disgust at most human beings and a strong feeling of repulsion from them.

>>10344
I really cannot give one single fuck anymore. Well I do, but decreasingly less and less

I think the part of my brain that processed shame is dead, as is the part with my childhood memories and the part where I kept the location of my old gameboy

Vaguely related >>9139.

>>10366
me too, I have no shame in anything anymore. I just to do whatever I want. But for me that's more of a benefit, not giving a fuck about anything you do makes life much easier.

sorry for engrish, non native speaker here

Any single disapproving from anybody will insta-make me want to kill myself here and now. This is really terrible feeling. Sometimes when memories float up and i'm alone i clench my fists, scrape the face. I understand those who are finding escape in causing physical pain to themselves.

If i do something wrong in public, if someone will look down at me with a reason, express despise i will try to escape immediately, this pain will be slow.

If someone will ridicule me, troll or bully like in school (didn't experience this quite for a long time) i will act like a school clown, acting like i'm actually okay with this, indulging their ridiculing. Though while under such treatment i feel like in fog, completely paralyzed. Memory of this type will last for years and cause long-lasting changing of mood

I've done a lot of shameful things in my past. Really embarrassing, shameful stuff. Thousands of occurrences, wherever I have happened to exist and interact with people. I used to beat the shit out of myself for it every time. Occasionally I would drag up some of the worst of them, cringe and feel like a fucking idiot who doesn't deserve to live.
If you do something shameful, you're going to feel the shame for awhile. I know very well what it's like. But there comes a time when instead of looking back, you should start to look forward. You should get new things going in your life, and begin to leave all that shit behind you. Haruhispeed

>>10385
>If someone will ridicule me, troll or bully like in school (didn't experience this quite for a long time) i will act like a school clown
I also did this when I was in high school.
I probably still do if I'd interact with anyone outside of the internet.

>>10387
Only thing I feel shame for is not being able to speak to people well. I have problems speaking to people and thinking at the same time or converting thoughts to speech. Sometimes words or whole sentences come out mixed up, broken, or just all wrong.

>>10385

>I understand those who are finding escape in causing physical pain to themselves.

It's a great distraction, no doubt about it. I usually just dig my fingersnails into my palms nowadays, anything more elaborate takes too much time.

>>10387

>Haruhispeed

Oh Kyon.

The kids just got out of school for the summer.

I am reminded of the shame of not finishing high school on time. I was a year and a half late. I basically dropped out for some time, but went back. In all honestly I don't know why. I could have just gotten a GED sooner.

I can't really deal with all the shame I feel in my life. I haunts me everyday, always. So many things...

I just try my best to live in my own little world. I keep being dragged back to this one though

After years of constant, nonstop worrying about how I act, I've stopped caring. I no longer care what people think of me. It's too much effort expended on people who aren't worth it. Anyway, it's not like my worrying and stress ever got me friends. I'm alone whether or not I care about that fact, so it's easier for me to not care.

>>10442

I'm this way too. Not caring is the best way to deal with crap.

I run away from everyone and don't talk to anyone anymore. I just disappear and they never hear from me again.

>>10445

I have this habit as well. I can get involved with an online community, or a group of gamers, or maybe some IRC people but I always end up just vanishing one day. Doubt anyone really notices.

>>10445
I sometimes do that for a few days. Usually no one notices, but people tell me that they're happy to see me again when I'm back.

>>10447

'Oh, you've been gone? I haven't even noticed'.

>>10455

For me it's always "You always disappear, don't you care about me? You're a terrible friend and you never talk to me". The worst part is they are all people who understand NEET/hikikomori things, but they never stop and think why I would disappear sometimes.

I drink shitloads of alcohol to forget about it, or cut myself to punish me for doing stupid shit in the first place