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10075 No. 10075 [Edit]
How does one deal with jealousy of friends? Am I the only one really affected by this?

I can't seem to keep online friends due to it and it's really getting me down. Lately my only good internet friend has been spending more and more time playing other games with other people and seems to have less time for me. This seems like some kind of blog or advice thread but whatever.
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>> No. 10076 [Edit]
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That's just how it is with online friends. It's the reason I don't have any.

They'd all prefer to spend time with someone other than me. I remember back when I was younger and into MMOs I'd always ask my friends for the names of their friends and add them too, so I could try and stay involved. Never worked though. The only way for me to truly be their friend is to be their ONLY friend. It's painful watching them make more friends and drift away from me. I become just another name on the list, until I'm eventually deleted.

When you try to talk to them after a long period of silence, they always sound busy. Sometimes it even seems like they've changed into a completely different person, as if they've outgrown me.
>> No. 10077 [Edit]
I agree. The dynamics of online friends seems to be completely different than real friends. Maybe it's just me, because even at the beginning online friends are awkward as fuck.

Even back when I was relatively normal and had real life friends, it was like this with online friends. And with real life friends that had moved away, the same thing happened.
>> No. 10081 [Edit]
I used to have one very close friend. We both were lonely so we kinda matched up. We both were really misunderstood by society and spent lot of time discussing about anime and imageboards. In some my friend became normal when he found new friends and started spending time with them. I got jealous because he didn't spend any more time with me and always when we talked, he just spoke about his new friends. In the end I decided to 'break up' with him and I haven’t contacted him after that expect I send him birthday e-mail.

I decided I will never take any friendship seriously. Mostly friendships end up being unbalanced and this kinda stuff happens. I don't even want to be so dependent about some other person.
>> No. 10082 [Edit]
The only true friend I ever had was online, he's like my best friend right now. Everyone else is gone. I have a single real friend but they are pretty distant and I don't wanna get involved in a relationship with them. There's just no one left for me IRL. I have real jealousy problems too, when I'm out shopping or something I can't stand watching people in love with each other. Just seeing things like that feels like they're mocking me with a "you'll never feel this!" kinda thing coming from them. All my life I've been teased by so many people. Knowing how lonely and fucked up I am, it was as easy as putting a carrot on a string and having a rabbit chase it around forever and ever.
>> No. 10085 [Edit]
The joke's on them in the end. No matter how many friends you have, whether the number is a thousand or zero, you're going to end up in the same place at the end. People do studies that say loners live shorter lives, but so what? An average normal might outlive me ten years, but he still kicks it in the end. And his friends can't help him then. As this saying I saw once goes: "We're all in life together, but we all die alone."

So that's why you shouldn't worry about losing your friends.
>> No. 10086 [Edit]
>I have real jealousy problems too, when I'm out shopping or something I can't stand watching people in love with each other. Just seeing things like that feels like they're mocking me with a "you'll never feel this!" kinda thing coming from them.

I'm also a very jealous person and I also hate this kind of thing. I try to avoid going out just so I don't see this kind of thing, but it is unavoidable. I wish I were dead so that I wouldn't have to deal with any of this garbage any more.

Post edited on 10th May 2012, 2:08pm
>> No. 10088 [Edit]
Even though my two friends are better than me in everything, I don't feel jealous at all. I know them for too long, and our bond is too strong, for me to be bothered by these things
>> No. 10092 [Edit]
I get jealous of people too. It is a bad habit of mine. I also get worried if my online friends are offline for a few days... do you have this problem, OP? I just worry and worry for no good reason.
>> No. 10095 [Edit]
not OP but I also have that problem too, if they been gone for a very long time I start to worry about them and get that "Where could they have gone? I hope they're ok." feeling. Even online I only really have a few people I actually talk to.
>> No. 10096 [Edit]
Some time ago, I think it was around '06 I started meeting friends online in various games (mostly through steam).
I met like 50-70 persons during two years, everything was cool until I reached some point - I became... exhausted(?) of them. I wanted to get rid of them. I just removed everyone except some people I knew really well (at least I thought I knew them, I got rid of them later too). These people were just unbelievably stubborn, they kept added me to their friend lists after I removed them, like they wanted to know me. I started changing names, hiding from them.

There was one person online I met offline, I regret it to this very day. He was the only person that still remained on my 'friend lists' after 2 years of my hiding from online interactions. It's the most awkward thing I've experienced, as we both were socially retarded, we couldn't even talk properly.

After I returned to my house, I decided to cut any contact we had. I still don't know what happened exactly and why I did this. Somehow he found me later, after some months (I have no idea how), and told me how much of an asshole and idiot I'm (after telling him I did this intentionally, and I don't want to know him anymore), after name-calling me, he just disappeared.

I sometimes talk with some random people on IRC. I prefer to talk with people I don't know (this is why I prefer imageboards), so there is no chance of happening something like that again.

I never had any 'real' friends, maybe except one during my freshman year in high school (I dropped in the same year after 3 months, so it was rather a short friendship), but he didn't gave a fuck at the very end. I think I expected too much from people, this is why I got rid of the expectations, and of the people too.

And yes, OP, I feel jelaous, I'm jelaous of all people who can lead their lives like they want and be succesful.
>> No. 10102 [Edit]
Every time I try to make friends, they end up forgetting/deleting me after a few weeks, so why even bother.

I'm just friendless now.
>> No. 10104 [Edit]
OP here. Yeah I get that, but mostly because I'm a person who worries a great deal anyway. They've usually told me they're going away and I usually forget - eh, what a great friend I am.

It's nice to know I'm not the only person like this. Just last night I gave up and went to sleep because I was in a game with the friend from OP and his friends and they were having such a good time I couldn't take it.
>> No. 10106 [Edit]
It's the worst when they leave without saying why... It's not as bad if they say "I'm going out for a smoke" or whatever, but when they just suddenly disappear I always worry that I did something to upset them. I'm too clingy/obsessive/dependent/whatever. I wish I weren't, I would probably be much happier. ;_;
>> No. 10108 [Edit]
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I'll never leave you without saying why, fellow Tohno.
>> No. 10109 [Edit]
I dealt with it by not having friends anymore after Rita left.
I'm still waiting.
>> No. 10110 [Edit]
My email's in the field, I don't have any friends.
I hope we can be friends.
>> No. 10117 [Edit]
No, don't do it! Friends are a waste and you'll only be let down in the end.
>> No. 10120 [Edit]
Please, don't say such things.
Thinking that every human is a waste of time is wrong, everyone is different to some degree, especially in a place like tohno-chan.

Everyone needs some social contact, even if you say you really hate it. If you hate a social contacts, why are you here? Talking with anons? Unless you're the walking autism, you will always be in need for some social contact to stay sane.

I used to lie to myself that I hate people and socializing. I still hate it to some degree.
But I'd gone insane if I had no social contacts at all.

Post edited on 11th May 2012, 5:59am
>> No. 10126 [Edit]
I recommend the irc channel. It's often dead, but there's a few conversations a day.
>> No. 10128 [Edit]
Casual conversation is different thing than having friends. Friendships take too much effort.
>> No. 10130 [Edit]
This is so true. Depending on how good you are at putting on a normal mask, casual conversation can be the easiest thing in the world. It is for me. You set a series of pre-recorded statements, questions and answers and play them back as appropriate. There's no meaning in it. I know some people here can't even do that, and I used to not be able to either, but it's just a matter of practice (and it's a serious necessity if you have a professional life of any kind.)

It's when I try to get deeper than that that I have problems. Because I can't understand most other people on a basic level, their interests, hopes or goals, why they have them, basically what drives them to get out of bed every day. And likewise they can't understand me. I'm not interested in women and I don't care that much about money beyond what it takes for me to stay alive and enjoy myself on occasion; most other men our age group are just the opposite. How do you get around such deep divisions?
>> No. 10133 [Edit]
I consider people in the IRC channel to be my friends.
>> No. 10134 [Edit]
I like discussions on the IRC channel but most of the time either nobody is talking, or if they are it's about things I'm not in on. Not that I'm complaining about that last part, I have really narrow interests so it's hard to talk to people
>> No. 10138 [Edit]
My cousin is coming over tomorrow with his wife and their sons. also my uncle and aunt. I don't desire to see them, but I have to anyway. They know I'm a shitty loser still living at home. The aunt always makes little remarks. I could go for decades without talking to anyone, Jesus
>> No. 10145 [Edit]
I have that problem in any chat room, I feel like I'm supposed to be in some "cool kids club" to be able to talk to anyone without being a pest to everyone in the room.

A couple of my uncles and my cousins pretty much live at my house they come over so often. I don't mind as long as they don't talk to me much but it's nearly every day they come over and they always got something to say.
>> No. 10208 [Edit]
If you want to chat on IRC, just chat! If there's no interesting discussions, start one. Chat with people. When you hang around for a few hours a day and start to get to know people better, then you're in the cool people club, as much as there is one.
>> No. 10227 [Edit]
Go chat in the IRC. You'll make friends.
>> No. 10231 [Edit]
Well I don't. I think they are nice people but I don't want or care to 'bond' with anyone. Internet contacts are just to fulfill my need of social interaction.
>> No. 10235 [Edit]
Not really jealousy of a friend here, but a family member. Its a funny story, recently my cousin visited my house. He's pretty much the definition of alpha male. By that I definitely don't mean he's a jock or whatever (that isn't what an alpha male is anyway). Hes good looking, a natural born leader, blazingly intelligent and well built. He picks up hobbies and masters them within months for fun and tons of companies want him on board.

Its depressing that I may have turned out to be someone like him. I genuinely believe that being born with Asperger's syndrome has caused a cascade effect causing all the other problems in my life and thus I am a piece of shit because of it. I'm definitely jealous.
>> No. 10241 [Edit]
Do you ever get compared to him? That's the worst thing about being a lesser sibling etc.

OP here just saying that the friend mentioned has now left me. Acting really cold and distant, not wanting to play with me etc. Such an even more depressing turn for the thread.

Maybe I'll start dropping into the irc.
>> No. 10290 [Edit]
You need to let your friend's friends know upfront that you are not happy with them being dirty thieves. Let them know that your friend only belongs to you. Casually talk about how much you dislike their thievery.
>> No. 10291 [Edit]
No, doing that would only make you look like a fool with feminine qualities that would result with the person being called a "fag" and insulted/ridiculed even more.

The best thing to do is to let go and move on. If that person cared even slightly about you, then they'd be your friend and pay you an equal amount of attention, but that not being the case, you'd only make things difficult for yourself and might even make the "friend" hate you.

"Friends" are a waste of time.
>> No. 10292 [Edit]
But yandere isn't cute in reality. All it does is scare people.
>> No. 10293 [Edit]
Tsundere isn't cute in reality ether, it's just makes people think you're a bitch/asshole.
Kuuderes get treated like they have brain damage.

Just sayin~
>> No. 10303 [Edit]
Reality isn't cute.
>> No. 10380 [Edit]
This is the shitty truth that I can't accept. Reality isn't cute, it isn't classy, and it doesn't conform to what I want it to be. Since it doesn't, I withdrawn from it as far as I can.

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