A classic

>>898
*repeatedly mash the A button*

"Get all that?"

>no

OH SHIT NOOOOO

konnichiwa Ken-san ^_^

I thin youll fit in with us here at tohno-chan~~~ were always looking for new kakkoii tomodachi to join are nakama ^3^ your so lucky to no japanese (they call it the nihongo), im still tryin to learn lol

lets ganbatte desu~~~

Is that really you, Ken-sama? Why don't you post any more on your blog? I thought you died or had an accident on one of your pilgrimages.

Welcome to tohno-chan.

>Gomenasai

I always laugh at this part, even if I've seen this copypasta a lot.

Howdy /ot/, my name is Kenichi Smith.

I'm a 27 year old Japanese Toonaholic (Cartoon fan for you foreigners). I draw cartoons and comics on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior American games. (Halo, Gears of War, Call of Duty)

I train with my 1911 every day, this superior weapon can shoot straight through steel because it kicks ass, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my gun license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both the Midwestern and the East Coast accents, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their Constitution, which I follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to New York to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Nickelodeon or a game designer!

I own several cowboy outfits, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I keep cool to my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in America!

>>912
There used to be another image for this copypasta, looked like some Asian guy wearing a mustache and winking. Don't remember much, but I might have the image saved on my computer.

>>921
Yeah I know what you're talking about. Couldn't find it though ;_;

>>927
You're a disgrace to copypasta posters everywhere!

>>928

M-my name is Yuno, and I think every single one of you should try harder!. I mean... you're... you're all so slow and lazy and... N-NOT THAT I THINK THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH THAT but I... I think you need to do better! You're the people who've everyone's forgotten and I... I think you have the great potential to do what's right! I mean have any of you had any friends? I mean, I guess it's fun talking to people online, but you need to make honest friends! Please I don't want to see you start getting angry at each other for no reason.

Please don't ignore me. I know I have my own problems. I have a lot of them in fact. I was invited into an art school I don't deserve, and made a bunch of friends who treat me better than they should. What do you do?, other than "fapping" and "being so ronrey" which I don't quite understand, I'm sorry. I also don't get that good of grades, and I have a very good neighbor who's fun to be around (she just ate my entire supply of noodles, she's very short on cash I'm afraid). But as I was saying, you all must try and be better people! ... please? Thank you for listening, I hope.

This image is related too: It's me and Miyachan.

>>947
That is the most adorable thing I have ever HNNNNNNNGGGG-

>>947
>But as I was saying, you all must try and be better people! ... please?

Nope.

I'm as good of a person as I can be. It can't be helped

>>947

OP here, didn't you read, I'm moving to Japan to attend a prestigious university and hopefully become a concept artist for Studio Ghibli or part of a game design and production team.

I practice with my Katana nearly every single day and will be attending a local dojo for which to hone my skills with masters of the art.

In between all this I hope to mingle and socialize with the Tokyo street scene and other Otakus.

>>947

The 'hey kisamas' version is better.

Hey kisamas,

Watashi wa John, and watashi kirai every single one of anata. All of anta are fat, baka, no-lifes who spend all of their kodomo looking at baka pictures. You are subete bad in the sekai. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any neko? I mean, I guess it's tanoshi making fun of hitos because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new rebaru. This is even worse than onani-ing to pictures on hessubuuku.

shiranai hito ja nai kudasai. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much pafekuto. I was captain of the american futobooru team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "onani to naked drawn nipponjin hitos"? I also get straight A's, and have a bishoujo (She just blew me; Shit was SO kimochi). You are all ki-samas who should just kurosos yourselves. domo for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my beetcho

>>954
>neko~pussy
>bishoujo~gerufurendo
i chuckled a little.

>>954

Improved version. Also in ALL CAPS and with edited picture.

HEY KISAMAS,

WATASHI NO NAMAE WA ANANIMASU OFFU KAKUSU TO WATASHI WA KIRAI EVERY SINGLE ONE OF ANATA. ALL OF ANATA ARE FAT, BAKA BAKA NO-LIFES WHO SPEND EVERY SECOND OF MAINICHI MITEIRUING AT BAKA PICTURES. ANATA WA SUBETE THAT IS WARUI IN THE SEKAI. HONTO NI, HAVE ANY OF ANATA EVER GOTTEN ANY NEKO? I MEAN, WATASHI GUESS IT'S TANOSHI MAKING FUN OF HITOS BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN UNKAWAIINESS, BUT MINNA TAKE IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. KORE WA WORSE THAN ONANI-ING TO PICTURES ON HESUBUUKU.


SHIRANAI HITO JA NAI DESHO? JUST HIT WATASHI AND BE SURE TO GANBARIMASU. WATASHI WA PRETTY MUCH PAAFEKUTO. WATASHI WAS AMERIKAN FUTBORU NO CAPTAIN, TO WATASHI WAS HAJIMASHTATER ON WATASHI NO BASUKETOBOORU TEAM. DONNA SUPOTSU DO ANATA ASANBOU, OTHER THAN "ONANI TO NAKED DRAWN NIPPONJIN"? WATASHI MO GET HOMO JA NAI A'S, TO WATASHI HAS A BANGING KAWAII SHOJO (KANOJO WA BLOWJOB WO SHIMASHITA; KUSO WA HONTO NI CASH.) ANATA WA ALL KISAMAS DARE SHOULD JUST KOROSU THEMSELVES. DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU FOR LISTENING.

(SONO PIC WA RELATED DESU, ARE WA WATASHI TO WATASHI NO ONNA)

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fit, retarded, normalfags who spend every second of their day getting laid and drugging yourselves. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever watched anime? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than having a facebook account.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the anime club. What do you do other than insert your dick into a vagina? I also get straight A's, and have a pure waifu(I just fapped to her; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my waifu

The first anime I ever saw was "Revolutionary Girl Utena" the movie. I was attracted to it because it was bizarre and new. It hit me at a vulnerable time; my father and mother had just been murdered. I became obsessed with the "emptiness inside" theme of the movie, and felt that this related to my life somehow. I watched Evangelion next, and absolutely loved the depressing feeling both of these shows left me with. I am a person who loves depressions; I feel that I am at my most creative and "raw" when utterly depressed. The empty feeling these shows gave me filled me with emotions I wanted to recapture.

Like an addict seeking another hit, I kept downloading more and more programs, watching tons of shows. At one point, I had two shoeboxes full of CD-r's packed with Anime programs. I had a library of just about every show ever made. I became obsessive, but I wasn't finding that feeling that was originally there. Sure, I could recapture it with great stuff like Serial Experiments: Lain and Millenium actress, but that was only for a moment.

Eventually, I stopped watching the shows I was downloading, but just grabbed them for the sake of having them. I had to have more. I bought DVD's and didn't watch them. Gradually, over time, I felt my aesthetic become warped. What once was strange and bizarre looking character design became familiar; I sought it out. If I caught a glimpse of an anime style character in real life, I felt a rush; almost as if my hindbrain saw it before I was aware of it. I was visiting a Japanese tea Garden and saw real life schoolgirls in the familiar navy blue fuku uniforms. I was fascinated by them; I was drawn, attracted, but not in a sexual way; it blew my mind to see something in real life that I had before seen only in the abstract.

A familiar feeling came through me when I saw them. I felt the same at that moment as when I had first seen Utena, when I had first finished Evangelion. My obsession took a new direction.

I bought several sailor fuku uniforms from online retailers. J-list was too expensive and didn't sell in the size I desired. I had to have the legitimate stuff. At first it was satisfying to just look at the uniforms. I would keep them clean, iron them, and hang them up every day. The ritual was soothing to me.

Sooner or later I had to do it. I had to wear the uniforms I had treasured. I am proud to report that it took me a few months to break down, to really cross the threshold into utter depravity. After that line had been crossed, though, there was no going back. Tentatively, I started by simply wearing the uniforms around the house. I would wake up very early, before anyone could glimpse at me from outside on the street, and simply do my cleaning and cooking wearing the various uniforms I purchased. I got a matching apron. I would pretend I was getting ready for Japanese High school.

Soon, though, wearing the uniform in private was not enough. I purchased a duster trenchcoat and began walking through town wearing my outfit. Nobody knew, and this made me comfortable. But, again, this soon became insufficient to satisfy my obsession.

I began stalking this girl I knew, Sarah. I checked out her routines; when she left for work, when she got back, what time she went to bed. At first I furtively ventured into her place with my uniform under my trench coat while she was away. I knew where her spare key was because I had helped her move earlier. Speaking of this, I'm a pretty beefy guy. I weigh around 240-260 pounds, but I'm not that tall. A great friend to have if you need to move.

Anyway, gradually, I became more comfortable in her apartment. I started doing stuff like rolling around in her bed, stealing her underwear and putting it in little plastic bags, soforth. As you would expect, I became more and more comfortable doing this, and crossed a line. She came home unexpectedly one day, early from work. Panicked, I hid under the bed in my uniform. Immediately, as she came through the door, she spotted my trench coat. Lying under her bed, the sound of my heavy breathing seemed a thousand times louder than it actually was. I could hear her rooting through the trench coat, and could hear the wrinkling of celophane as she found my empty plastic bags. Thank god they didn't yet have her used underwear in them.

I put my sweaty, meaty hands together and prayed.

I heard her walking around the apartment. Thankfully, she didn't bring anyone with her. My mind was flashing; the excitement had triggered my epilepsy. Suddenly, I was barraged with memories from my first anime program, revolutionary girl utena. I heard her walking around some more, and then sit down on the bed. I saw her clothes come off and hit the floor in front of me. During this time I was controlling myself and having a minor epileptic fit. I could see transformation sequences from anime programs I had watched. It was all coming together; the near hallucinations, the girl in the bed above me, and most of all, my sweaty fuku uniform.

She approached the bathroom and got into the shower. She turned on the water. I was convinced that this was the one moment I had been searching for. This was my chance to cross over into the other world described in Utena; the fabric of reality was thin. I could taste it. In many of my anime programs I had seen the seemingly normal characters, like me, enter into a world of magic and joy.

I rolled out from under the bed and bounded into the bathroom. She saw my large form approaching through the glass of the shower and started screaming. I was having epileptic flashes; the screaming sounded just like "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" I was having trouble walking, my steps staggered. I couldn't feel the floor. My meaty hands slammed the shower door open, but she sprayed me with a jet of water. The water triggered another fit and I seized, falling into the bath. She tripped and fell on top of me. As she was screaming and my blood filled the bath, it swirled around reality, and intermingled in my mind. Her screams, the blood, my sweat, the uniform, Japan, schoolgirls, magic, tragedy, terror, and hope all become one to me. For one moment, I could taste it. The anime reality. It was here, like a precious jewel perched between my meaty, sweaty pectorals. And then, gone.

SO yeah I like anime.

>>1164
I was expecting more. Tell us the rest.

The last part made me chuckle.

>>1164
pasta? very good, anyway.

Its funny how copypasta is amongst the most depraved media thats come out of 4chan

>>1164

I can easily imagine becoming a school uniform serious fetishist, myself: sailor fukus, catholic school types, crossovers... so much to hng.

Catholic schoolgirl uniforms are the best.

I can't possibly describe how I feel right now. This series has ruined my entire life.

It all began when my five year old son was watching television. I needed to do some shopping before dinner, and decided it was okay to leave my little boy home alone for a few minutes.

I went to the grocery store, and got the stuff I needed. When I returned to my car, the traffic suddenly became heavy. It took me more than over an hour to get home. And during all that time my son was alone.

So when I finally got home, I saw the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. I can not ever forget those images.

I saw my five year old watching a video which shows a woman with pink hair getting disemboweled and tortured. It's so graphic, and so incredibly disturbing. I can't imagine anyone watching this out of free will.

Apparently my son took a film out of my husband's (he's an enormous fan of those Chinese cartoons) DVD collection, because he liked the front cover and the title (Elfen Lied).

From then on it all became worse. My son has stopped talking to me and his father. He makes very violent and disturbing drawings. He mutilates himself with sharp objects. He has killed his pet, a rabbit.

We went to a child therapist; it didn't help a bit and only gave us high bills.

I don't know what do anymore. My husband and I are in a divorce because of all the stress. The situation just keeps getting worse and worse.
So my advice to you is: Never watch these twisted chinese cartoons and never let your children watch them. It'll destroy your life.

>>1168
It's probably one of the best copypastas around, in my opinion.

>>947
Yuno pasta always brings a tear to my eye She's so kind and sweet. Even if its pasta I feel better.

>>1229
You're pretty dumb

>>1229
Can you please go back to /int/, faggot?

Go discuss your LOL SCANDINAVIAN IS THE ONLY WHITE RACE ALL OTHERS ARE MUD RACES bullshit there.

>>1231
Stop giving him attention.

Hey you skull worshiping Fags that think black is the best thing ever invented.

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are soulless, evil, hipster, monsters who spend every second of their day looking at horrible and disgusting gore. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever done anything nice? I mean, I guess it's fun hurting other people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on rotten.com.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much a doormat. I was president of the pretty cure fan club, and make my own dolls. What shoujo do you watch, other than "lolis getting raped and killed"? I also have a flower garden, and have a super cute and adorable da-taru (She just played with some puppy's I gave her; Shit was SO cute). You are all jerks who should just stop with the killing. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my da-taru

>Asian guy wearing a mustache and winking.

Might you be referring to Koji Igarashi?

I do not have the winking image.

Omg hai ^___^ I|m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is naurto!!! Okies so anyways,

im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE

WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw￡SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
§ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPAE SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!!¨ I yelled n____n then he turned

chibi then un-chibi!!
he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then

pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!!

RLY!! >.> <.< >.< (^O^) (^O^) (^O^)] then I saw some baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was

undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN|T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (o_o) (o_o)

(o_o)] so I yelled §UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT|S MY MAN WHY DON|T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA

LOVES ME!!! (o_o)¨ then sasuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me

again!!!!!!! ** (O)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they

all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

I like Konata because she is a otaku like me, except she has friends. Oh god I wish I had friends too ;_;

Konata also likes videogames and she is kawaii. And there are lesbians in the show and that's good because

I like lesbians and I will never have a 3DPD. Why am I such a loser?!

Konata is like my dreamgirl she has a :3 face I love that. She is also nice why aren't real girls nice!? I

got dumped a lot of times but I love konata and she wouldn't dump me because she's so nice and cool.

We would play videogames all day and read manga and other cool shit like that, and I would have sex with

her because sex is so good. I wish I could have sex with a girl.

Hrm, this doesnt affect me as much as you guys it seems.

>>912
except this, this is hilarious.

>>3402
It may interest you to know that I spammed this exact copypasta in several threads on 4chan's anime textboard.

>>3404
Are you the guy that was never going to let the thread die?

>>3406
Yes

The troll level on tohno-chan never ceases to exceed a level over 9000. Don't ever change guys.

>>3433
...what?

>>3434
I think its a compliment about how we don't have trolls here.

>>3436
he said never ceases to exceed
which means always at 9000 or higher, meaning we are constantly trolling

In all seriousness, does anyone know a Ken-sama in their lives? Someone who misuses honourifics to make themselves look like an idiot?

Also Kansai-ben is really ridiculous, and I seriously regret ever being introduced to the language by a native Osakan. Pros: It's like you're singing all of your sentences! Cons: You look like an idiot, especially if you are a foreigner.

Whenever my friend interviews me for his Japanese class, I always accidentally use Kansai-ben because I don't know the Tokyo dialect words for a lot of things, and use "naa?" a lot. I feel scared that he's writing it down verbatim, and his teacher will think his friend is an asshole.

>>3444
The only people in my life are my parents and brother and sister, and if I asked them what an honorific is they would have no idea

>>3444
as far as I'm concerned anyone on Tohno-chan learning japanese is a Ken-sama

>>3446
Why's that?

>In all seriousness, does anyone know a Ken-sama in their lives?
Sort of. A lot of girls at my school think they're anime characters, but at least they don't butcher the language.