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No. 6893
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I remember, yes, I remember. I have too many nostalgic memories to count, but I will share one of my dearest ones.
I'm not sure on the exact date. Could have been late January, maybe mid-February - Not this year, of course. Long ago. I still find it strange that this memory is so vivid, while all of the other ones have been decayed by time.
I returned to class from lunch, early. There was a bit of snow on the ground. A few clouds were in the air, making the sky seem darkened. I gazed at the hillsides surrounding the school, the sky seemed soft against it. The red brick of the various buildings littering the campus provided such an odd contrast to the light-grey sky. I entered the building that my class was in, waiting for lunch to be over, so I could resume class, get through the day. A few other losers were there, too, doing...loser things, rather than socializing at lunch. It was nice that I wasn't completely alone. As the minutes wore thin, more people trickled in. After a while, somebody shouted, "It's snowing!", and it was. A class of kids waiting for their teacher to return paused. They looked out the window. Sheets of snow were cascading from the heavens. It was honest beauty, a rare kind for me to find. The girl of my affections said 'hi' to me that day, while the snow fell, I guess she felt sorry for me. Then again, she was a friendly girl. That totally means what you think it means, too. I had a few vague acquaintances in that class, and we watched the snow together, sitting near the heater. When everyone entered was back from lunch, we just watched the snow fall together (not in silence, of course - we were teenagers, not over 60's). When the class ended (lunch was at the very end of the period, so we had 5 minutes of break time in between lunch and the next class), everybody simply packed their bags, left, and things proceeded as they were from then on. But that moment, that singular moment, is something I will always hold dear to my heart, and something I will never be able to have back...
I don't know why such a memory makes me feel this way. Is it the girl? No, it couldn't be. I always thought that it was that craving for 'purity' along with 'normalcy' that I was never able to quite crush. However, time taught me of the true essence of human beings (I know I'm the only one who remembers that day so fondly), and here I am. Yet, I will never forget that day, and I don't think I'll forget the times when I felt a glimmer of purity in life. I yearn, friends. I'm sitting here, yearning with all my heart for another chance that I will never get. It's not an uncommon occurrence, though. Yearning for wishes that will never come true is a large part of my life as it is. Still I wonder, has it all been in vain? I don't regret my path as it is (it's my decision, etc.), but if I could do it all over again, I would. Just to have moments like that back.
tl;dr - Nostalgia goggles on the highest setting aren't anything to fuck around with.
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