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9846 No. 9846 [Edit]
do you ever feel like you've failed your wife in some way? I sometimes find myself thinking that, with the amazing friends she has and the wonderful adventures she goes on, there might not be a place in her life for someone like me. When you think about it, not many of us are that appealing to our waifus. How do you deal with that?
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>> No. 9848 [Edit]
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That's probably the worst thing about waifuism as a whole - the knowledge that "if they were real, why would they choose us?" and the probable answer of "they wouldn't".

Above all else, at least for me, this is the most debilitating part of it all. The entire point of waifuism is to admit and accept your romantic, or platonic love for that which doesn't exist - your love for a concept. However, even after recognizing how they are just a concept, the knowledge that said concept would, if given the opportunity, not return the love you've poured into it is truly scarring.

Even in the case of a former husband/wife who's partner has died, they still know and remember that someone loved them in "that way". This gives them, if nothing else in what is probably a bleak and depressing life, security. They know that their husband or wife is still with them for as long as they can remember their love. They know this, and none can take this away.

However, for someone with a waifu, there is, at best, uncertainty, at worst, definitive knowledge. Aside from predicting and fantasizing, you can not be 100% one way or the other that your waifu would hate you. Chances are, they wouldn't outwardly hate you, which is something, at least. But this begs the question - when does it reach the degree in which feelings stop being neutrality and start becoming dislike? What, exactly, differentiates between not caring whatsoever for someone, and being madly in love with them? For a waifu-bro, there's even further confusion on this; "What differentiates between indifference and love, yes, but more importantly, am I doing enough to differentiate it actively? Would she return my gestures?". The issue here, again, is uncertainty in the millions of possible responses. Fortunately for me, my waifu is one who probably outwardly "hates" no one in specific (pic related, though maybe she's the most pissed off by Konata, heh), and I doubt someone with her personality would dislike me intently. If anything, we'd either see each other as faces in the crowd, or as acquaintances - I think we'd at least get along semi-well.

But for those with more, erm, "emotionally potent" or "volatile" waifus, or when their personalities, interests or actions conflict with those of their waifus, the effect of the uncertainty is magnified - there is no longer uncertainty, but straightforward doubt. You often can tell, despite the cliché stating otherwise, how a person "is" generally from your first impression, and after all, wouldn't your waifu be able to do this semi-reliably, as well? Say, if your waifu is very athletic or "petite" and tsundere to begin with, and you tend to resemble a walking meatball on a good day, would she honestly take you seriously? "Possibly", if you're being generous. This is the most depressing because even the concept you've half-created in your head to keep yourself happy with your life has turned on you.

However, this carries a slight bit of advantage. In a "true" relationship, both parties are supposed to respect each other unconditionally - "who is she to tell me to lose weight, it's my body", etc. However, with a waifu, it gives a certain goal to work toward: to be the hasubando she deserves. If your waifu is Emi from Katawa Shoujo, it may be a good idea to take up running/jogging. Aside from taking a step to becoming the ideal hasubando, this also can help you meet people (romantically or otherwise depending on your faith in the waifu system), as it is, after all, a hobby, as any other. If your waifu is an aspiring actress (are there any anime about this? sounds interesting), audition for a few musicals. If your waifu is from K-On!, learn their instrument. It gives a way to improve yourself, your "relationship", your self-image, and it's a good way to meet people. Even if your waifu is Nagato and you start reading everything you can and get soopah-skillz on the computer, someone out there is going to have the same interest, and you will be able to discuss it with them. Bam, acquaintance count +1.

So, in short, really, it's what you make of it. You can turn that knowledge of your waifu's probable opinion of you into a parasite on your self-esteem, or you can do something about it, inspired by your waifu. See, unlike in real life, your waifu will always be there. Most people tend to categorize others between "Friends", "enemies", and "possibly more" subconsciously, and judge others based on that, but your waifu will always be there - in spirit. Unless you, for some reason, simply will your waifu away, she will, if anything, be pleased with how you're bettering yourself and will probably forget how you were before, if you really wouldn't've gotten along well with her before. Your waifu is in your mind and heart, and both are always with you; they're just not going anywhere, and neither is she. But people come and go. People move away. People grow and change. You may never see your best friend again, or maybe you'll move in together. You simply never know. But the one thing you can take comfort in is that she'll always be with you and will appreciate how you're trying to better yourself, if not for you, then for her.

It's all what you make of it. Really.
>> No. 9849 [Edit]
Whoa. Um, that came out way longer than I intended. Sorry, uh, here's a TL;DR:

If you're sad about you not being what your waifu would want, change something. She'll be proud of you for it and thus your self-confidence and self-esteem will be higher, plus you should try to improve yourself regardless because, well, it's simply good for you.
See, with waifus, we're given an incredible opportunity to grasp romanticism and finally view ourselves through the lens of another, through this exact kind of thought. This can really help you become who you want to be, which makes you, and ultimately everyone around you, happier.

Post edited on 24th Jul 2012, 12:48am
>> No. 9851 [Edit]
This is just the way I approach the problem. My waifu is my motivator. Not that I think she's real, or that I'll ever meet anyone like her - it's just not possible. But at the very least, I can be a man worthy of someone like her.

It all seems pointless sometimes, for the very reason that she's just a concept and not real in any concrete sense. But I still think making this effort is worth it. Being a NEET is like being dead before you die. I went through that once - never again. Partly for the reason that she'd never give such a broken, useless person a second look. Even if I'm marked to go through life alone, at least I can try to be the kind of person who she'd consider worthy.
>> No. 9852 [Edit]
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Once someone said: "Behind a great man there's always a great woman"
I don't think I failed my waifu in any way, maybe I am not leading the best kind of lifes, but I am proud of what my life is. I think that just managing my life the best that i can giving it all is enough to not be failing my waifu in any way.
As for the appeal, maybe I'm not the most handsome one in the world, but you know what? I trust that I would still have a chance. Even if it's meager, even if it's 1 in a quadrillion chance I would FIGHT for it, I would go all out to make that chance reality.
Even if my wifu has a really potent personalty I love that part of her, and even the thought of having some discussion with her makes me smile, because I need someone that can stop me when I'm carried away, and I'm sure she needs also someone like this. To stop when needs to be stopped, to cheer when needs to be cheered, to support when needs to be supported. I think that is the best kind of relationship, the one that you can trust your partner as you trust yourself.

However, even after all that there's one single wall that cannot be passed, the wall that no matter how hard you try you can't blow it away, the most you can make is the wall thinner but it will be always there.
That's the one obstacle no one can overcome, but for that reason I try to live my life the way I would if that wasn't there, with it's key element missing, but is the way I want to live my life.
>> No. 9854 [Edit]
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Thanks, all of you. This actually rally motivated me. Starting today, I'm going to try harder to become someone she could love. Even if she's not able to return the feelings, I'll still feel good knowing I'm becoming better for her sake.
>> No. 9865 [Edit]
Not me. I know my way around guns and have great agility. I could easily call her in with some clear co-ordinates to air-strike some Neuroi filth, too.

No need to speak for me, I'm very appealing to her indeed. Is she still a motivator though? Hell yes!

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