>I don't want to go back to my depression, but I also don't want to forget her.
I'm deeply sorry to tell you, but I think they're somehow implied. I mean: "depression" or whatever someone calls it, I'm certain that, for good or bad, we owe our love to our waifus to the very lifestyle we're dweling at; so as much you do anything to grow apart from it, you'll grow apart from that love in the same extent...
But I don't want you to be sick or miserable, either: I'm dead seriously concerned about you, right now; is it an anti-psychotic you're taking? However, in relation with your initial concern, not being able to tell what's real and not (an issue that extends determinantly towards your waifu), I think I can tell you this: I am an atheist; I do not believe that any kind of God is plaussibly "real" for any of my standards; but I firmly believe that it being "real" or not doesn't really matter at all, because God (i.e. a character, like yours or mai waifu) does exist, indisputably, in the measure that it affects and changes your life; and I am certain, as well, that simply taking faith away from someone, it's as unffair and brutal as cutting his legs or worst: that simply amputating yourself from your spirit, or whatever keeps you on your feet and wich allows you to make every step in front of the other, it's simply suicidal...
If you give this some credit, maybe you could put yourself together a bit; you could re-gain your waifu once again, somehow, by putting the entire affair now on your own hands, even without the former hallucinations. However, I might be even more fucked up than you to come up with this stuff now.
Best of luck. Take care.
Post edited on 15th Mar 2012, 12:13am