, int room.jpg
I was in a TF2 game of 2fort, and I made my way into our intelligence room as an engineer. While in the room, I set up in a fairly typical way - I placed the sentry in an ideal location, went to get metal for a dispenser, created a teleporter exit to the location (should I die and need to get back) and leveled them all up to three. But the one thing that made it special and different from all of the other times I have done something similar, was the spray of my beloved. I sprayed it right next to the intelligence. for those who aren't too familiar with TF2, the "intelligence" is the flag in a CTF-style game
As the game went on, and the stalemate continued, with no foreseeable victory or defeat in sight, I defended our intelligence as I would any other game. Übered heavies came, spies came, demomen came, but I guess I was lucky enough to keep myself and the intelligence safe from their cannon-fodder "attacks". After what felt like an hour or two had passed of me staying in that room all by myself, a critical-rocket-launching soldier turned the corridor leading to the room. The lucky bastard got an accurate-enough hit to take me, but not my sentry turret.
The wait to respawn had never felt longer in TF2 - my eyes were fixed on my sentry's remaining health. As I left the spawn room, I felt worried; "My waifu's in there!" I thought to myself. As the teleporter entrance brought me back to where I was established, I felt relief and accomplishment. It was just a game, and it was just an image I had sprayed, but for what is pretty much the only time, I started to feel like I was good enough for who I love.
As the game continued, and my turtle-defense remained ever-strong, I dedicated my endurance not for the intelligence, but to keep what I hold most dear. As my TF2 session neared its fourth hour, the already-modestly-populated server had dwindled to a mere handful. I had lost sentries several times, had died several times, but our intelligence remained untouched.
With there being only around 5 players on the server, the game was coming to an end, and with the enemy's side getting weaker and weaker, my team began to capture their intelligence. While I was empathetic for those who may have been in a similar situation to I -only without the nearing victory- I couldn't help but take pride and satisfaction in my hard work leading us to a perfect win.
The victory music that accompanied the third capture of their intelligence sounded so vivid - almost as if I hadn't heard it hundreds of times before. I slept well that night, feeling genuinely good about myself, and feeling like I was worth something, despite it just being a pointless victory in something which is nothing but time-killing entertainment.
I now look forward to the day that I again become so sleep-deprived that I can become so engrossed and taken-out-of-reality as to actually find a game and a picture of my beloved so gratifying.