>>8336

That is, as you can probably guess from my being here, until I found mai waifu. It's hard to put into words, but through her I saw what I wanted out of life - or at least, what would make me happy. It was almost an epiphany; the emotions she invoked in me I knew I wouldn't find anywhere else in the world. She represented everything I wanted in life. I found no joy in anything regular life promised me, and I stopped hating myself for having no desire to enter the 'real world'.

It sounds kind of sad to say out loud, but it makes me feel immeasurably satisfied; I enjoy solitude. I've come to accept that there's nothing wrong with me for that. All I want is to spend my days in peace and calm; alone save for my imagination and, of course, my waifu. To write stories and create worlds for others to enjoy just as much as I do. Only then do I feel I could really be satisfied with my life.

However, I'm still in need of some direction, I'm trying not to doubt myself, but despite how confident I may feel, I'm afraid that one day my feelings will vanish, and I'll segue back into depression.. So, how do you stay the course? How do you keep your waifu with you, and your feelings strong?

(Pic related, it's mai waifu)

There are a few threads that deal with this. There's even a survey thread by a newbie like you; one of the questions is yours. Just look for it. Browse. Old threads are still very much relevant.

Sure is popular nowadays to post autobiographies on /mai/.

>>8337
>It's hard to put into words, but through her I saw what I wanted out of life
You mean chosing between Bedlam house, total failure (followed by and other's suicidal chronic depresion of realizing), or the world driven into oblivion, with humanity wiped out for a better future to come? Excelent standpoint...

No, seriously: for me, Saya is simply one of the VERY BESTEST ever; I didn't wrote it, but you might find this old post interesting: http://tohno-chan.com/mai/arch/res/3111.html

About your questions: just give it time. To my standards, you've made a very good start: she has completely redefined your life, becoming the omnipresent reason for you to do everything; how may this develop would be your own adventure, but don't worry too much about losing it... rather: it may hunt you.

Anyway: congratulations and welcome. Great choice.

>>8338
Sorry, I was worried it was a little too blogish. I guess I just wanted to get some things off my chest, and this seemed like the most suitable place. Didn't mean to shit up the board, I'll keep it to myself from now on.

>>8339
Thank you, that's very encouraging, and that was definitely a parallel that hit me quite hard. Giving up your past for a chance at a unique future.

>>8340
Nah, you're not shitting up the board. I'm the first to make that sort of comment so you're fine. We're always here to listen, new comrade.

>>8337
Aww! look how she chews those innards... she's such a swetie, really.

>>8343
Thank you. I have been reading through older threads and it's been very helpful; I guess I just felt the need to put my own experience into words. Kind of embarrassing in retrospect.

>>8339
>About your questions: just give it time. To my standards, you've made a very good start: she has completely redefined your life, becoming the omnipresent reason for you to do everything; how may this develop would be your own adventure, but don't worry too much about losing it... rather: it may hunt you.
I'm agreeing with this. Since she's impacted your life in such a way, she now has a special place in your life that can't be easily replaced. Of course, your love for her will wax and wane with the passing time, but just remember that this is something that all of us deal with.

>Sure is popular nowadays to post autobiographies on /mai/.
I'd been thinking this for a while, too. I don't really mind it at all, but if the userbase ever increases significantly it may get out of hand. I remember there being a dedicated "life story" thread on /so/; that might be a good idea for /mai/ in the future.

>Of course, your love for her will wax and wane with the passing time, but just remember that this is something that all of us deal with.
It's funny, this has never really bothered me before; life goes on, etc. But the thought of losing the feelings I have right now makes me panic.

I guess that's how you know she's the one, huh?

>>8375
>I guess that's how you know she's the one, huh?

Consider this:

If she's your love, that is, if she's nothing but the very best of you (in possibility or in act, as possession or desire) casted/imprinted over the adequate vessel of her character, through wich you now understand your entire life, then you cannot lose her without losing yourself in the process; if she's really your love, you cannot leave her behind without becoming someone else...

And, well, people change... or not.

>>8376
I'm not quite sure how to reply to that, but I think I understand.

Ultimately, she represents a deeper understanding of who I am and who I want to be. I keep worrying that this is just some passing infatuation or phase, but this isn't something I can just lose.
In a sense, she's forever associated with my own life now, and will always remain a part of me for as long as I remain who I am and become who I want to be.

When I made this thread I was mainly looking to vent about my life for someone to direct me through standard waifu protocol,
but that was the wrong way to go about it, and I think I understand everything just a bit better now.

Thanks to everyone who replied!