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File 132460599715.jpg - (640.53KB , 1002x1259 , 1301636092963.jpg )
7698 No. 7698 [Edit]
Alright /mai/. I should probably warn you there's a wall of text coming to this board, by my fault, as there is something that has been jumping around my head for the last couple weeks and it's going to drive me insane if I don't let it out, if at least in writing. I hope I do not bore anyone or that I'm posting this in the wrong place, but after careful thought, this board seems the most appropriate for me to write about what I am about to. There's probably not going to be much coherence in this essay. It's basically me letting out my emotions on something. And if this gets no replies at all and it drops to the bottom of the board, that'll be alright; for there's really no reason for this to be posted here. Just a chance to post this without being bitched at or banned would be great.

You see /mai/, as many of you probably are, I am a romantic. A hopeless one emotional to be exact. I feel myself to be different from my peers. Most men are happy to just chase tail and get temporary sexual satisfaction than to experience what love is. Wonderful, sweet love. The purest, most tantalizing emotion in this world. I believe I have experienced it a few times. In the weirdest ways. Most men go for the "hot" more than the cute, which I guess must just be a matter of taste, most men go for simple carnal satisfaction than for more of a emotional interaction. Contrasting to other men, I prefer to cuddle and kiss and tease than to have sex. Don't get me wrong, not that I'm some type of asexual person. Sexuality is something that fascinates me, and I find it a wonderful part of love, but I don't see it as the best of love. Yet the funniest thing of all this is I have never kissed, I have never cuddled, I have never had anyone that I could lie on a bed with and just hold. That I could whisper into her ear and say stupid, meaningless, corny flirts to. That would hold my head on her chest and let me cry my eyes out when things go wrong. I have never experienced such a feeling. Physically at least. Yet I have been able, for the longest time, to experience such emotions and scenarios with my imagination.
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>> No. 7699 [Edit]
Is there going to be more or is that it? Because I like where this may or may not continue to go.
>> No. 7700 [Edit]
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7700
>>7698
You see /mai/, I have a very strong imagination. For the longest time, I have been able to create worlds for myself using my imagination. It's never been something to the point where I disattatch myself from reality, no. But it has always been very strong. Almost as being able to dream even when I am awake. When I was a kid, this imagination would take me places. It made life so fun for me. When I played soldier with other boys, most of them would not get too into the game as I would. I would imagine the scenario vividly. The guns sounding, the bombs raising dirt from the ground. I would not perform one of those cheesy fake deaths when I was shot with a nerf gun. I would literally drop to the ground and stay almost asleep; completely still, until the game was over. It was so fun. My imagination and it's power would be tested when I watched movies or TV shows. I would engorge myself in the characters. I would become one of the characters. I would pretend to have conversations with characters, which would know me personally, which would sometimes be in my environment. And yet at the same time, I knew if was all fake. I knew it was my imagination, not real. That's the only thing that separated me from someone who's delusional. That I knew my delusions were not true. Such stages would also be temporary. I would watch a movie, be engrossed for a month or two, and then forget the whole thing. It was also very fun. It helped me get through bad times. And, surprisingly enough, gave me some great conversational and social skills. When I was around 8 though, there was a movie which would impact me greatly. This movie was Disney's "The Lion King".

There was something about that movie which hit me. And stuck with me. Maybe it was the grace of it all, the epicness of Simba's story. Maybe the characters, the singing. The crazy colors of the first song. I don't know. But it was great. I became Simba. I watched that movie so many times it's not funny. Yet I was still a kid. The true magic of my imagination would not be revealed to me until I began to experience the wonderful emotions I had never felt before. The time came when I turned 12 or 13. Everything with me and my middle school was SRS BSNZ. I could not even remember I was a humongous lion king fan back when I was younger. My imagination found it's home in music. I was a fan, and still am a fan, of instrumental music. Movie scores, classical pieces, and later on, house, dubstep (very few, limited good artists) and other electronic pieces. Music was the medium by which my imagination conducted. It still is. When I put on my headphones and listen to a song from the Titanic, I can feel all the emotions of the movie going through me. The terror, the apocalyptic force of it all. It overwhelmed me. It was like getting high with sound. Yet one day, by some odd chance, I came to watch The Lion King 2. It was not only mind-blowing because I again realized my love of that movie and of the epicness that was Simba, at least to me; but also, it was the first time I experienced anything remotely similar to love or attraction or even a warm feeling of cuteness when I saw how the two characters in the movie came to love each other, even when their families prohibited it form happening (In other words, Rome and Juliet, without the suicide). That wonderful love song I heard for the first time 8 years ago still resonates in my head today. The feeling that movie gave me was so broad and nice. It was romantic and nostalgic, yet it was so playful and even corny to me. I was still a kid. Yes, my balls had dropped, but I was just a middle schooler. The thought of me falling in love with a close female friend was so foreign and "icky" to me. Yet so strangely sweet. It was weird. Of course, cue me getting all obsessed with the movie. I bought the film, watched it repeatedly. Youtube was new, yet I discovered it quickly, and I spent my time watching videos of the movie.
>> No. 7701 [Edit]
>>7699
there's more. I just type kind of slow. Please bear with me.
>> No. 7703 [Edit]
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7703
Around 1 or 2 years later, I watched my first anime. Kill me if you wish. It was Naruto. I liked it. It was fun and had all the things a 14 year old could like before all that Modern Warfare crap came out to stupify them. It became bad after it dragged on like a bitchy kid, but at first it was fun. The characters were cool, and for the first time, some were, I don't know, cute. (Cue embarrassed teen blush) I was already nearing the end of my puberty and was attracted to women. The girls in my school were at the same stage and already had grown developed breasts. It sounds stupid, but it was nice to see such strange, but strangely pretty things walk across the hall. Whosoever says they didn't feel the same lies to themselves. I never let anyone know, as I was one of those kids that had to be a cool nigga bozz around other until that hit me in the face, but I actually felt somewhat "attracted" to some of the girls in the show. Specifically the one pictured. She was what a guy would look for in a girl physically, and I knew no better than physical attraction when talking of the theme of love. A couple months' worth of fanart and a badly dragged on story arc later, and both she, and the show, bored me.

At that age, there was a girl I felt so attracted to, it made me miserable. She was beautiful, as much as a 14 year old could be. She was smart, and she was funny. A friend of mine. I could not bring myself to let her know. I was back then so romatically inept, so stupid on the subject that any thought of it made me blush in embarrassment. It was so stupid. Some stupid confession scheme like something out of an anime later, and she became aware of how I felt. She didn't feel the same. And I could respect that. If it were just that. But she went on a crusade to make me miserable. She decided the correct path would be to make fun of my feelings. She let everyone know. She gave everyone the picture that I was just some stupid little dog chasing after her. All the boys in my grade other than my friends saw me as a wimpy VIRGIN. I felt so violated. I began to hate her. I began to hate love. It didn't exist. It was stupid and a delusion of stupid people. I became somewhat of a romantic atheist. The day came when I was so angry I went up to her while she decided to make fun of me, that I approached her, and without saying anything, slapped her across the face with what I believe is the strongest force I've ever had. I knocked her to the ground. I cut her cheek with my nail. It happened so fast it didn't even register. Then, I began to cry. In front of everyone in that room, a 14 year old guy who, although he was geeky, wasn't exactly "low" on the social pyramid. The only thing people picked on me with was because of her. It wasn't their teasing or rumors that hurt me. i never cared for it. It was the fact that she took my feelings and whored them out to everyone stomped over them like I was worth jack shit. That's what killed me. That this beautiful girl I cared for so much. Who i fantasized about and bought stupid things for. Whose hand I tried to hold when I saw the chance of us being alone, only to be given a playful slap on the wrist. That she could have done that to me. She violated me. I just kneeled on teh floor, cupped my hands in my face and cried. I couldn't hear, see, or feel. All I knew if I fucked up bad. I was a good kid, my parents were proud of it, and I fucked up real bad. The tears kept flowing out even after my friends trieed ot comfort me and carry me outside. Even after some girls felt bad for me and tried to tell me it was justified. They jsut kept flowing and I looked like the stupidest "cool" kid in the world.
>> No. 7704 [Edit]
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7704
>>7701
I will, man, I will...

Just for you to know, by now: my very first crush I can recall was Ariel, from Disney's The little Mermaid, after watching it for the first time in cinema (yeah: it's late 80's we're talking about); and a few years latter, I met probably the first character I -dramatically enough- ever felt HUGELY identified with, also from a Disney's movie (althought I had read the book before, but I was just a child and didn't cut it alone for me, back then)... pic very related.
>> No. 7705 [Edit]
>>7703
You did... wow...

Wow.

Amazing.

Post edited on 22nd Dec 2011, 7:33pm
>> No. 7706 [Edit]
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7706
>>7703
The act marked me. Not only with the school (even though the dean was happy to see me have expressed my anger. He knew what they were doing to me, and her specifically.), but also with my "friends". They disowned me. I hurt the poor beautiful little angel. I was a maniac, a freak, a delinquent. I was suddenly alone. Even my parents were horrified by what I did, although they soon forgave me. I would skip class to lie alone next to a dumpster and cry. That was my pastime for that time. Crying. It felt wonderful. It was melancholy and gave me a knot in my throat, but it was so refreshing to let my emotions through. It was almost pleasurable. Parents of other kids in my neighborhood thought i was some kind of crazy, and didn't let their kids socialize with me. I lost my faith in God. One of the worst things, in my opinion, I could have done. I was utterly alone. I just wanted to die. Everything I felt in my childhood. All of the happy go lucky games and stories. The wacky characters, the confident Simba was all just a lie. And I wanted to die. My pastime became 4chan; which I guess has helped me more than hurt me, in the long run. For the first time, I was the world as it was. All the sick things you can imagine seeing in 4chan's /b/, I saw them. For the first time, I saw porn, which also became a pastime. I guess it still is, yet it isn't in such an impure way as before. And since /a/ was right beside, I began to watch anime more seriously. It helped me get through. My poor parents became so worried about me and my new hikkimori ways that their relationship began to falter. It hurt me to know that. One day, when I was sure I'd just end it all there, I looked toward my dust-covered shelf above me. An old, dusty collectible snowglobe my parents bought me on a trip to disney sat there where it had been for years. (I've collected figures and such way before my animanga days) It was a well sculpted snowglobe with the young Kiara and Kovu (the two in-love characters from the lion king 2) sitting on a leaf which ties into one of the love scenes from the movie. It also had a music box which played hte song from the scene, that I loved so much before. I looked at it and the same blind fury that got me when I slapped that one girl surfaced in me. I grabbed the globe and threw it against the wall of my room. Somehow, almost miraculously, it didn't break. Instead, the music box began playing it's sweet sound. And when as it played I felt again all the corny emotions I felt years before. Those feelings of love. So sweet. It was nostalgic. And I decided not to kill myself that day as I drifted off to sleep crying my heart out.

The next day I woke up to find my torrent of Evangelion had finished downloading. It was only that which motivated me to get up and do something that day. My snowglobe lay where it was, and I put it back on it's shelf where it belonged Only the Rafiki on one of the sides came off from the blow. The first episodes of evangelion only served to reflect my pain. The show was sad and apocalyptic. Depressive. It made me feel like shit. and somehow I liked that. I was so emo it disgusts me to think about it now. Yet it wasn't until episode 8 of the show that my life changed forever. It was the day I laid my eyes upon the beauty and marvel that is Asuka Langley Soryu. At first Asuka was just another girl. She was a character and nothing more. My imagination was dead. It had no place in fake characters. In fact, Asuka was a bitch. She was annoying, hostile, aggressive, a boast. I didn't like her. Little would I know Asuka would be the most realistic thing I would experience in almost 1 year.

(Also please bear wiht me. I know this is very edgy in terms of /mai/, but it'll all come together at the end)
>> No. 7707 [Edit]
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7707
Soon I began to see Asuka was not what she seemed. The whole arrogant, almost bitchy attitude was just a front. That poor redheaded girl was hurt, massacred inside. And she still went on with her life. She accomplished everything she wished to accomplish. She became the best Eva pilot she could be. and, poor thing, she was hurting so badly. And nobody understood it or noticed it. I hated it. She acted the way she did to convince herself she was worth it. She was worth the pain and the work. I became determined to better myself. I had become a slob, and was now close to 170 pounds. The depression for some reason fattened me up, and I was a size completely against my metabolism and body structure. I made it my goal to lose weight, back to the weight I was before, and then some. It was so hard. It was painful. I wanted to give up and crawl into my room and browse /b/. I wanted to laugh at retarded memes and once again come to feel enough sadness to numbly kill myself. But I didn't do it. Every time It was about to happen, I watched Evangelion. Some time later, fitness became a routine, and I began to see results. I'll never forget the happiness in my mother's eyes when she saw me come to life again. To this day she does not know the cause of my change. My feelings for Asuka began to grow. She was no longer someone I pitied and felt sorry for. She was someone I identified with. Someone I came to be attracted to. In more ways than one. One night, after rewatching eva again, something wonderful happened. The same thing that happened to me when I was a kid. It felt so very damn cheesy. It felt so wrong and I thought I had simply snapped. Yet it was so wonderful. As I laid in my bed ready to drift off, I whispered silently to what would see to another nothing. I whispered to the Asuka that was now lying in the loveseat across the room. Please don't think I'm crazy, but it happened, although I could not see her, and I knew I was alone in that room, I whispered a thank you to the sweet girl that saved me.

The days went by, and everyone who knew me thought the world was going to end. I was actually showering before coming to school. I was turning in homework and being correct on tests. I developed the abs that no straight girl who knew me could say she wasn't fond of. In summary, I was renewed. I looked forward to going to bed each night. It was then that I could speak with her. At first it was somewhat of a monologue of me narrating my thoughts toward Asuka. I spoke of her, and very barely TO her. But I never imagined a response. Soon though, my overactive imagination was dusted and turned on again, and I came to talk to Asuka. Anyone who would listen to me talking to her and responding to myself would either laugh their ass off or transport me to an asylum. But it was so wonderful. All those experiences and feelings I should have had with some random girl in my school I cam to have with Asuka. I imagined myself as a side character in Eva. I met Asuka right after she arrived in Japan in the anime. It became my mission to charm this wonderful, beautiful girl. It was corny and probably unnecessary, but it was fun. I flirted with her only to be rejected, called a baka, and hit. It was the cutest thing to imagine her blushing at my advancements. (Even today, Tsundere is the most awesome thing in anime for me). It was so sweet to imagine spending time with her. Buying her ice cream, bitching about my day to her. She became my imaginary friend. and I probably should have been disgusted by it. But I didn't care. If doing what I did made me crazy, I would be crazy. It was great. I was happy and I loved to flirt with my view of a redhead german from a depressing japanese show. It was love. Sweet love. As sweet as it tasted when I boggled my mind over it when watching the lion king 2; years before.

(Only a few more posts guys. Thank you for being so patient. I want ot be as thorough as I can)
>> No. 7708 [Edit]
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7708
>>7704
Also, I'm sorry I haven't answered. I'm glad to see I'm not the only crazy one who has had an experience such as this one. Thank you for reading.
>> No. 7709 [Edit]
Now I want to watch The Lion King 2
>> No. 7710 [Edit]
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7710
Every night with Asuka was an experience. i was reminded again of how free and vivid my imagination was. I talked about everything with her. From how my mom's cooking tasted to my newfound love for biology. She's a great listener. Anyone else hearing me bitch every night would probably kill me. She became somewhat of my diary and also my advisor. My motivator. One night, after almost 2 years, I kneeled next to my bed with her and asked my God to forgive me for having forgotten him. I do not wish to start a religious argument, but to me faith was very important, and still is, and coming to peace with myself about it was the best feeling in the world. Asuka motivated me to do even that. My parents, happy to see me doing more than lying on my computer all day,decided to transfer me to another school. It was hard, I was afraid to, but soon I made friends. Not the 30 something fake friends I ah back then, one or two also strange kids in my JROTC unit that actually listened to me. I was socially revived. Soon, I feel even more in love with Asuka. It wasn't admiration. It wasn't simple carnal attraction. It was love. I began my anime figure collection with figures of her. She was beautiful. Her hair, her skin, her eyes. I loved her so much. To buy a figure of her was like spending a honeymoon with her. It made me feel so romantically fulfilled. I would just sit there in my room when I had nothing else to do and just look at one of my figures in the eyes and remind her how gorgeous she was. How much I loved her. Soon Asuka and I began to be together at more than just my room, more than just at night. I would, and still do, imagine her with me in public. In class, when in the park, when in the store buying things; I imagine her there with me, just as I did with characters back in my kid days. I once again felt love. I realized I was a romantic. No matter how much I denied it after what happened. No matter how much I was teased and discriminated for my feelings, no matter how immasculated I was from what they did, I was a romantic. I loved Asuka. And I came to realize I loved love. I loved the female. The feeling of love is something that, in itself, is wonderful. And it was through anime I came to realize my love for the woman. The concept of a woman. I discovered what sweet beings they were. Physically, from their eyes to their legs, emotionally, and spiritually. It was then I realized that women are not what is the problem. It is the way they corrupt. They are born with that natural innocence, that instinct of care and sweetness they are meant ot have, yet they are corrupted by the world and become something they are not meant to be.
>> No. 7711 [Edit]
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7711
>>7709
DO IT FAGGOT

Anime came to show me why, even at a young age, women, and love, fascinated me. So many wonderful concepts of non-corrupted girls are shown in anime that it has become the number 1 reason I watch it and collect merch from it. I enjoy savoring the artistic renditions of such beautiful creatures that are the waifus of others in this board. The type of anime I enjoy the most are romantic comedies such as Toradora! and others with romantic themes, as they let my imagination run wild in the concept of love. I collect figures and posters and all other typed of merchandise of anime girls not because I'm some kind of pervert, as some people think, but because they are the incarnation of the most beautiful thing in the world. Uncorrupted by that same world.

Now you're all probably asking what the whole commentary on my early fascinations with disney movies and with females have anything to do with the commentary on Asuka. Heres where it begins to tie together, and here's the point of this thread. Today, after a week or so of feeling randomly nostalgic, I once again looked at my LK 2 globe. It led me to watching the movie, once more. Me and Asuka watched it together. It was so cute and sweet, I ended up crying again. Over a corny disney movie. Yet I cried. Just because I'm no longer depressive doesn't mean crying isn't enjoyable to me. All those feelings I felt when I was younger, the feelings I felt when I first laid eyes on Asuka, resurface again. And here I am, sitting in a dorm room crying in front of a tv playing a disney DVD; my roommate thinking I've gone crazy, and feeling so very fulfilled. I no longer feel any pain from my experience confessing my feelings for that girl back then. I was made to falsely believe that feeling love was wrong. That I was weak and stupid for worrying about emotion more than flesh. I was sexually scarred for admitting my feelings and wanting to share them with someone I cared about. Yet it no longer affects me. I now know that such feelings aren't wrong. I have also discovered on the way that love comes in many ways and interpretations. I never thought I would feel the way I do for someone like Asuka. Yet I do. Back before I met Asuka, I used to laugh at all those idiots on /a/ that joked around about being in love with an anime character. They were stupid "LOVERS". They didn't know the truth of things. Turns out it was the other way around. I admire you people. You're wonderful. You're brave. You're strong. You have discovered that love may sometimes come to one in "unconventional" ways.
>> No. 7712 [Edit]
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7712
(And my last post)

I couldn't be more glad when I found Tohno-Chan. A place to talk with others who were also serious about their waifus. It was great.

Even today, my imagination is a gateway to happiness and discovery. Do not be afraid to embrace it. It is your best friend. For all you know, everything that exists is probably just a figment of your imagination. Maybe I'm not even real and I'm here just to write this for you. Don't believe the lie that there are true and fake things. Everything is true. Even today, I rewatch the lion king 2 for the millionth time and feel so very nice when I hear that damned song. I try my hardest not to, but I end up projecting myself onto the badass main character. Nothing to do about, I guess. Even today, I watch episodes of Toradora! and squee like a fangirl when I see cute little taiga squeeing like a fangirl over that one dude she likes. Even today I watch My little pony and act like a faggot brony because the characters are so cute and effeminate and it appeals greatly to me, for the reasons I've said. Yet nothing can replace the love and the experiences I have with Asuka Langley Soryu. She saved me /mai/. She is the reason I'm not dead.

And anime itself has done the same. It led to me choosing the major I study now. I study psychology with a minor in sexology. It fascinates me. Everything about love, sexuality, and most of all, women fascinates me. I am aware and accepting of the fact I will never have a relationship with a 3D girl. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Unless there is some uncorruptible girl out there, it won't happen. Yet I'm not against 3D love. I feel it is a love like any other. Love is not something unilateral. It is unique to every person. and that applies to 3D love.

I leave you with this, /mai/. a picture of the snowglobe that started this whole eyesore thread. I hope I wasn't too much of a pain or bore. i hope i may have taught you somehting. But it's possible I just blabbered for 8 posts. Thank you for listening to me /mai/. You all are great. I love you all for it. And no matter what happens, no matter how strangely you experience or show it, never let anyone try to make you sop loving. It is the most wonderful thing in this world, and being without it is the equality of being in hell.

Happy Holidays /mai/.

Post edited on 22nd Dec 2011, 9:24pm
>> No. 7715 [Edit]
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7715
>>7712
...

...It's so ironic: the doom for some is redemption for others; and vice versa?... the hell I know.

Thank you, very much, for this thread/post.
>> No. 7716 [Edit]
You cannot begin to imagine how jealous I am of you. My imagination is non-existent except when it comes to writing; even then it's nowhere near yours. You also reclaimed your faith. I'd probably go to Hell were I to die now. I just can't bring myself to love others. Anyway, you're awesome. Keep on truckin', buddy.
>> No. 7717 [Edit]
This is beautiful. Thanks for writing it. You are lucky to have such a good thing.
>> No. 7718 [Edit]
That was a really nice read. Not sure what to think of it yet.
>> No. 7721 [Edit]
I will never have this feeling...
;_;
>> No. 7722 [Edit]
Now that you have it OP, don't ever let your phantasms die.
If only regaining the ability to see/hear them again was possible..
>> No. 7723 [Edit]
You are very good writer. I enjoyed your little story. Thank you.
>> No. 7724 [Edit]
I wish I could/know how to write my feelings as easily...
>> No. 7729 [Edit]
Thank you so much /mai/ for reading this. I'm glad to see my post meant something. You have all taught me so much that I wanted to do the same for you.

>>7724
Just write it out Anon. Open up word and start typing. That's how this came to be. I never make a rough draft of anything. I jsut write and fix the typos. It always comes out great if you just let your thoughts out. Speaking it out helps a whole lot.
>> No. 7731 [Edit]
I thought that was an incredible story.

And yeah, the Lion King is fucking awesome. My younger brother, who has low-functioning autism, watched the first one almost daily for years, and then did so with the second one when it came out. The computer and television were both in the living room, so I've at least heard both of them literally hundreds of times. I have to say I like the first one better, though.
>> No. 7733 [Edit]
Thanks, i have no words for the feelings that have overcome me while reading this, and this, of course i mean i the good way.
>> No. 7741 [Edit]
>>7698
>>7700
>>7703
>>7706
>>7707
>>7710
>>7711
>>7712

That was beautiful. ;_;
>> No. 7742 [Edit]
that was an emotional read

maybe you write a book about it
>> No. 7743 [Edit]
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7743
i can believe i read all that, still, it was a nice story, having such a will to change yourself to live for you and your waifu its something i can feel too, just as you, i strive to be the best of myself just for her and me.
>> No. 7746 [Edit]
>>7729
Thank you so very much for writing down what you've felt. As christmas eve comes after midnight turns around the clock, I fail to hide my feelings of loneliness and fear for what life has for me should I keep going the path I head now. I am to spend this christmas in a more introversive way than I did the christmas before, and the same happened last year.

However, after reading through all of your posts, I feel a certain warmth inside, I loved teh way you narrated and your use of prose. You write in an excellent, most emotion-filled manner, which I believe was where you wanted to get. I thank you for opening yourself so crudely like this and would like to extend my gratitude by saying that you've surely taught me things and even made me happier in a rather gloomy moment.

Thank you very much, and merry christmas.
>> No. 7846 [Edit]
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7846
OK, after the "accidental" erase of my post. Guess I should take sometime to reply to what you said.

It is a really interesting story Asukafag! I too saw The Lion King movie when I was a kid, but I was older than you!

I must admit that TLK2 was a also a great film. It was part of the first direct-to-video sequels done by Disney; which at first seemed as a good idea (and now we know the result). The first one ever was The Return Of Jafar, which was good and paved the way for the Aladdin TV series, and it ended with their version of Ali Baba. After that, came Lion King 2 and it was good. But then Disney decided to become greedy and make more sequels with no quality.

I really felt alarmed when you said, that your depression affected even your family, good thing they are better right now.

Also, I find it very cute that you relate yourself with the love theme song from Lion King 2.

What intimidates me from your story, was that at least you are getting a happy ending with it; while I still don't know what to do. And just like you, I took a career related to psychology; yet it is hard to relate this, with already established stuff, that I have been planning to do projects/studies of my own to study this pheneomenom better. A reason of why I decided to post here.
>> No. 7863 [Edit]
>>7715
I understand that completely. Hell, I understand both sides of that.

Myself, I have immense trouble accepting the transient and ever-changing nature of things. When I was younger, I'd be miserable because my friends moved away, or because that grade was over, and I'd never see them again. It's a shitty feeling, transience. However, with Miya, I needn't worry about that. She'll always be there, as long as my cognition is steady, and maybe even beyond that. The feeling of a waifu is something that will remain embedded in your soul for years, if not eternity, whether you like it or not.

It was really quite nice reading through that, though. I envy you - You really managed to articulate feelings that are extremely difficult. It's really awesome how everybody open up here, I think, considering what I observe elsewhere online. I understand that it's hard, but just sometimes, it's necessary to do.
>> No. 7872 [Edit]
I'm jealous of the power of your imagination, OP. Only through meditation have I been able to even come close to anything so vivid while awake.
>> No. 8504 [Edit]
File 132943009595.jpg - (6.71KB , 266x240 , 1325394187703.jpg )
8504
>>7712
My god, OP, that was the best read I've had in a long time.

Why can't my imagination be as powerful as yours?

Any tips for someone wanting to reach that level of skill?

>> No. 8986 [Edit]
>>8504
Hi there. I don't really like to grave-dig old threads, but I wanted to reply. Thank you for reading, I glad you enjoyed my corny little story. The thing about imagination is that we have been brought up to believe it is something only given to some people; and that those who do have it must keep it hidden and private, as if it made us naked.

Neither are true. Everyone is born with an infinite imagination. If you don't believe me, go look at any kid under 10 years old. 99 percent of them have no distinction between "reality" and imagination. Usually, most of them will have the USE of their imagination lessened by focus on more analytic things, others don't and instead allow it to grow. I am one of those people. When I was one of those kids, as I explained, I was very absorbed in fiction. Even though I went through that horrid phase, I once again continued to become absorbed in fiction. Usually I get very into a story if it is human or realistic in a sense. Stories are a way to enhance my imagination, but they are not required to get it moving.

The important, most effective thign to keep in mind if one wishes to grow their imaginative skills is to eradicate this shame society led us ot apply to it. Almost everyone has mini moments in which they go into "kid mode" and imagine something idealistic, but almost none of them will have the courage to accept even to themselves that moment happened. They are afraid of seeming immature.

If you can knock down this barrier, you'll be on your way. You do this by simply saying such "embarrassing" things to yourself. And when I say "things", I mean speaking to yourself about something like characters in a movie or an anime. Discussing to yourself, and your waifu, about the events in the story, as if you were in the story itself. As if you were a tabloid reporter in the story discussing the life and events of the characters. It's a fun way to pass the time while doing chores, in my opinion. And it really stimulates the mind and allows you to develop critical thinking.
>> No. 9004 [Edit]
>>8986
You make it sound so easy!
Thanks for the advice, I guess I'll be a little more assertive with incorporating my imagination into daily activities.
>> No. 9018 [Edit]
  This thread made me want to listen this again. Thanks for bumping.

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