My family... well... we were never a conventional family. After what happened recently, maybe it would be too cruel to name it a dysfunctional family.

Again, my family was a non-conventional one; somethings worked on them; and others didn't. Somethings which would make feel good other families, just made them angry or worse.

When I had my crush on Minky; well I am not sure how my family found out, if I did tell them or not, but when they found out things were not good. My mother made fun in such a vulgar way, which was common of her. My father, well... it took him some years for him to react.

I believe this is called "hiding my power level" in here. Because of that, I tried to hide as much as possible the crushes I had on waifus.

During my childhood, I had a waifu in particular, but I'd rather prefer not to talk about her. Oddly, I did had a real girlfriend back then, though we stopped seeing eachother after 4th grade as we changed classes for some reason, but we never officially broke up.

Still somehow my family found out about my waifu, and yes this was not seen in a good light as I said.

By the time I entered jr. high; I felt odd. I was finally a teenager, but didn't want to stop being a child.

Around those times, my dad did noticed this; and he finally unleashed it on me; which really hurt me. Somehow I decided to move out from my waifu. But that wouldn't stop my attrction to waifus.

For some reason, I was under the idea I needed a waifu around my age; a teenager. Not sure why, it would had been better to just stop having waifus, but there I go with my psychology.

Heck, I also felt uneasy to have a teenage waifu; as I really didn't want to have any relation to teenage stuff, but I just couldn't stop physically growning.

I actually met her in my early teens; I disliked her series, but I only watched it for her. I loved how calmed she was, so pretty. Like someone I could actually trust. Because I have a hard time trusting people, specially my family; I just couldn't tell them anything.

>>7646
The message was getting too big to publish, but yeah the girl in the pic was the waifu who gave me the welcome into my teen years.

She was so pure, so innocent... She was also really smart... lol people tell me that no way someone in real life would have a 300 I.Q.

I felt that if I wanted to be worhty of her, I had to be really smart, so I studied hard in my jr. high to show I am worthy of her! But to whom and how? She is not real!

Though this time I felt the need to study for real coming from me! My family always pressured me to study, but this time motivation came from me!

Now, in Jr. High; I had crushes on real girls from school. But I never told them anything, not because of my waifu; but because my family wanted for me to concentrate 100% on school, and would probably do something to prevent myself getting some date.

Now, I always knew my waifus were not real... so how the f!? would I be with them!?

Well from a real life perspective; I was expecting that if I followed my way, I would eventually find a real girl/woman who would have the charactersitics and values of my waifu. But somehow I had the feeling, I would actually met my dream girl; yeah the "real" ficticional girl I fell in love with. I would usually daydream that I had adventures and such with her... being her "waito naito" lol. Guess I saw a spiritual answer for that.

>>7648
It is a long thing I want to write. Wait up for me, I am about to get busy.

>>7649
Damn I was going to continue yesterday... right now I need motivation to write.

>>7653
I get that. Take your time, man. We'll be here for a while.

>>7655
Thanks man.

>>7648
Not sure how else to continue. Well there I was at jr. high; my childhood had ended and I was on my teens. Left my childhood waifu, for someone who "would fit my age." And to feel worthy of her, I would try to be as smart as her!

Now, I am in a nation of a strong catholic background. Like I previously said; a realistic goal was to somehow find a real woman who would match how mai waifu is. But truth is, I wanted the actual ficticional girl; though I could not go around saying that around people; or I would be labeled as a crazy non-realistic guy; and I had enough of that with my father.

From my spiritual/religious values, I understood that if I were a good person, and became faitful to mai waifu througout (no idea on how to write it) my life, when I would die I would be united with her.

But in a way, guess another thing that gave me that influence was the story titled The Mail Coach Ghosts, by Charles Dickens (from his Pickwick Papers works).

The story is about a man who meets a woman and falls in love with her, but this woman is a ghost, and after some adventures; she sacrifices herself to be chased by some evil thing, and don't let the man he loves suffer for something bad.

The guy fell in love with her, that he decided to remain single for the rest of his life, so when he dies, he would be reunited with her.

That story really marked me. Though some will say, that man wasted his life.

Well I had Ami in my mind as mai waifu, but then I met someone else in the fall of 1997.

  >>7667
I don't think I will continue anytime soon with this. But I do leave you with the animated version of The Mail Coach Ghosts.

Part 1 (Starts at 4:20).

  >>7668

  >>7669

>>7667
>I am in a nation of a strong Catholic background.
Are you in the Philippines by any chance?

>>7675
I'd rather not mention where I am from, but it is not the Philippines. You guys are free to guess by yourselves; but please don't place your guesses in the board.

>>7667
Anyway, in 1997; in my early senior jr high I met her. I bought a magazine, one of those which used to had ads for stores that sold japanese stuff, actually with the intention of buying stuff about Ami chan.

Oddly I didn't saw it at my first run of the magazine, but in my second or third one. A review of the anime series to which this girl belongs to, and there she was... that girl... I had no idea of her name. She looked so mysterious... so calmed... so peaceful... I wanted to know more about her, and despite the review in the magazine, it didn't establish clearly who this girl was. It took me months to know her name, this girl... the girl right in this picture.

>>7668
>>7669
>>7670
Someother notes:

Yeah the animation might not look really great, but I love the narrative they take. That which I shown you, is part of some animated novel adaptions done by a studio from Ireland in the early 90s. They aired on the british channel ITV.

Again, I am not saying the animation was bad; but this series of animation was great for western animation, as it had balls to show scary and tragic things. For example, unlike Disney with White Fang, their adaptaion kept the original tragic ending. So yeah, that is why this ghost story looked scary and beautiful at the same time.

Something else, maybe I will talk of the following later, but recently I spoke with a friend about what I am trying to speak here; and well he does know how "my land" is not the right place to talk about waifu subjects. Many social, religious, political and well other ideologies are reasons of why. Basically, the man in the picture I am placing, is pretty much right as how "certain individuals" have no sense of humor.

>>7677
Back to Rei. I would say that seeing Rei, without any idea of who she was, as love at first sight. But aside her not being real; I already had a waifu in Ami. And according to my values and in what I believe, it is wrong to cheat on your couple (yeah, again both aren't real; and I know it is stupid to say about cheating on ficticional characters, or you might say I should have a haremu or something). So I really wanted to have my aim on Ami.

But the more I knew about Rei, I felt more attracted to her. But it seems once I found out on how EOE ends, I figured out she was "avaliable" as I expected for her to end up with Shinji, and in a similar way to the non-cheating thing, I really don't want to have waifus that have boyfriends in their universes; and with that I decided to make Rei my waifu, plus Ami has a boyfriend, at least in anime canon. But what about my "ways" to reach Ami?

>>7679
Now how to be worthy of Rei? Well I decided not to change much things. I still planned to try hard in getting high grades at school.

But by the time I was at high school; it was really hard to do so. I felt depressed for getting average grades.

Eventually, it came to me that maybe I should come up with my own personal project, and use my imagination to make it possible. But in life, I have gotten myself into plenty of trouble for using my imagination, and this is where I have trouble with my father, always saying that I should never mix fantasy with reality; and of course this falls in the subject of waifus.

So just as keeping the secret of my waifu, I had to keep the secret of my project. And for this project, mai waifu would be the muse for it! She would be the inspiration for it!

Because something else that Rei gave me; was hope. She made me feel that everything will be OK, and that it will be worthful fighting for her at the end. (Some years later I found out that Bump Of Chicken, made a song to her! Guess I wasn't the only one who found inspiration on Rei).

High school ended, and came college. I have to say, college was easier than high school and with my love for Rei, I believed I could do anything! I felt everything was worth doing even if I never got to actually meet Rei in my life! Does this mean I was expecting to look for someone like her in real life? Yes. I was expecting to meet her, and settle down with the true love of my life!

I tried looking for other people with a crush on Rei, but far from seeing them rivals, I saw them as colleges. Still it made me wonder; if it was actually possible to be with Rei, the actual Rei... (and considering she is one, I always saw her as one, not counting the whole dur hur she is various clones), who would be deserving of her and what does that person have to do? Also of my values and ideas, is to let go of that one you love, and if she returns, then she is yours. I was actually looking forward to losing Rei to someone worthy.

Anyway, near the end of college, something happened.

Man... please go on, whenever you're able/ready: I'm genually fascinated with your story of a life throughout -and towards- 2D love (maybe the closest a man can get to experience actual love, as I currently believe).

Actually, about the days when I arrived on /tc/, I attempted a similar thread for all of us to tell how we became "this way", maybe rooting this to our very childhoods (wich for given reasons didn't turn out very well); and althought yours and my familiar/life's backgrounds may differ considerably, I find much more important what we share in common: to have always kept some form of intense fascination with some character (wich created great conflict in our relationships and lives), and to have one or two books/references that, pretty much by themselves, unleased a wave of passions and conlusions that would determinate maybe the rest of our lives; needless to say (maybe), Evangelion was for me the last watershed/turning point of this weird, weird adventure...

Anyway: keep it up; I'm longing to read about how things turned out with Rei and about the current state of things you're dueling with. I could even suggest you one literary reference that could blow your mind away, enlightening like a thunder all this entire main affair of our lives, always loving nothing but ghosts... but later, man, better later; carry on, through your own path, to see by yourself where it shall lead you.

>>7702
Tomorrow. Today Thursday was a busy day.

¡Santa vaca! After reading your story, I don't think I want to continue!

>>7732
I'm not Asukafag. I'd like you to continue but do as you please.

>>7732
Yes please keep going. The anon in the other post is not me, and both me and him would like to see the rest of your story.

>>7736
I am intimidated now because of your story.

>>7740
lol. Intimidated how? I didn't mean to intimidate anyone, just teach. :P

Fine, I will continue.

As I said, I was looking for guys who also had crushes on Rei for a sense of companionship, to find others we could understand each other, and to figure out why we loved her.

Late in my college years, I met some guy online who shared the same interest for Rei. We became good friends and shared some ideas.

But a bit later around that time; we met someone who made us rethink our crush on Rei. I am sort of scared of this individual as he seems to follow me around, and another reason of why I felt somehow uneasy on writing all of this.

I will refer to this individual as "Miguel Russo" for on forward.

Anyway Miguel Russo told us that we don't love Rei, but we lust for her. And we should stop it right now as possible, as Anno made Evangelion to stop such behaviors; and we should stop being cowards, live life and find a girl even if she is not perfect to us and have an dysfunctional relationship; but that is life.

At first, his words didn't affect me, but after being witness of certain things, they did. I began to have nightmares, and became too nervous around people.

I kept getting worried for the future and what could it bring. But I wanted to be faithful to my dream of finding Rei somehow; however; I couldn't help wondering that maybe he is right.

I should give up my dreams, morals, values and beliefs in order to live life. Sure I could ignore him, but Anno sort of backs him up. I was in such a deep depression that not even hugging my Rei plushie made me feel comfortable.

>>7747
>I should give up my dreams, morals, values and beliefs in order to live life.
Sadly, at many levels, I still somehow share this fundamental problem with you. Personally, I don't have any good answer or solution to provide.

I was working on >>7747

Before >>7745 was made.

Anyway; that depression took place between 2006 and early 2007. My family has always been reclutant into getting professional help, but they could just not stand how I was, so they were OK with me going.

The Dr. who attends me is someone nice with whom to talk with. Eventually I tell him about Rei; and all other waifus I've had.

He really find no problem in it! He finds it as some good way to practice with other women. He even mentioned that I haven't been the only patient with such similarity. Once he had one that had a crush on someone, an actress from a soap opera.

Still, after getting better from such depression; I just couldn't look at Rei and other waifus the same.

>>7750
But what could I do? I wanted to do that project in my mind; but Rei was the muse behind it! Without her as my motivation, the project wouldn't make sense!

I could do the story anyway; but without my feelings for Rei in it, it would be an empty vessel.

Oddly, my doctor became of great help in how to work on my story; as he helped me on something I really needed all these years. A name for the main character. Now, this is an original story; many believe that it is a fanfic as I Rei is my muse for it, but it is not.

(Right now, I can't tell you guys much on the story).

Also he said that I should work on it anyway; and maybe my inspiration on Rei would appear again.

And so I did, I began working on that project, but sadly I didn't had enough resources to back up the data; and I lost most of it when my first hard drive crashed.

It was hard for me, as I tough maybe I should not work on it again.

Sometime later (this and the data loss was around 2008); I stumbled upon a web site. This website was hosted by a guy who suprised me a lot as he had the place full of loads of poems and toughts dedicated to Rei!

Sadly I didn't wander much around his original website; as usually my family was around; specially my mother.

Now as you may have read; I tried to hied as much as possible any clue or hint that I had a crush on a ficticional character to my family. My father would see me as less than a man and a loon, and my mother would mock me like no tomorrow.

Plus related to that, whenever I had something of my waifu around like an image, she is on TV, a figure or something; I really wanted to not have it around while my mother was talking or doing "stuff" as it freaked me out.

I am of those who doesn't want to end up married with someone like their mother. Guess a reason of why I loved my waifus was because they were not anything like her.

Just as I have been reading here around on how some of you don't like to see erotica of their waifus (nor wish for others to see it); I always felt something "gross" if we may that Rei or Ami would all of the sudden become like my mother.

And as I have been saying, we have such a religious background that they always say things, specially my grandmother that God will punish me for certain reason, and I wonder if that punishment could be marrying someone like my mother.

Sounds ridiculous but usually when I disobey my grandmother, things happen. But maybe I have the same psychological thing the character played by The Rock had in The Rundown.

I am getting sleepy, let's see when I can continue.

>>7748
Yeah, I expect what you guys will say on all of this; but when I am done please.

OK no idea on how to continue...

Sometime after my depression, I contacted that friend who was also a Rei fan. Sadly he stopped being my friend due to differences on certian ideas and values (not Rei related). I really felt bad for that.

And when I finally had the chance to check the site that other guy made (the one with poems), it was already taken down; but he did make some blogs with a few of them, plus narrates his personal life and how he was introduced to Rei and how it has influence his life.

Sadly, those blogs have been taken down by himself (I am going to call him Elvis). He had such wonderful poems dedicated to his muse, and so I wanted advice from him on what to do on my project.

He really never gave me any advice (like most people) but he asked me "what was Rei to me?"

To date, it is hard to find Elvis, he always makes new accounts and I hope he is doing OK.

So, in a way I decided to move on with my project and see how things would come up.

But also during these years, I met someone else. He doesn't seem to have a waifu; but he was deeply influenced by another work of fiction.

Again, I won't say names, but I will refer to this individual as "Freelance."

>>7795
About Freelance, well... there really is nothing wrong on him. He has been such a nice guy to me; but still wouldn't like for him to read what I am doing here.

Anyway, Freelance is also working on some project, and I had the curiosity to know more about it, as it is about something I also had interest.

I developed trust in him, so I told him how things were with me. Not sure when, but at some moment I told him about Rei, and how she also inspired me for another work.

Well... Freelance told me that he got into a certain spiritual way. I don't think he told me to follow his way; but I gave it a try.

I really felt good with it, but guess I did it not only to find peace, but to find my waifu as well. But knowing more about this; well it sort of clashed with what I believed in; and well... some other things that clashed.

Again, I really have no problems with Freelance; and he seems to still be to look for his way.

And after that, I began to question faith itself; not only mine, but so what Freelance told me and the thing going on recently with my mother, who became overtly reigious.

Have to go for now.

Damn, to think it was easy to place all of this on type.

Back when I spoke to Freelance about the problems in my life, and about my dreams (like waifus and such); according to what he believes; he told me that (from what I understand) is that humans need to let go of their "attachments" in order to grow.

I was afraid he would say that I needed to get rid of looking for my waifu; but he said that my attachemnt was fear.

But what does he mean with it? It seems I had to come forth and tell my family everything; even if it was a big risk.

Though I was taught to be patient, and wait for the perfect moment to say something or do anything, but Freelance from what I understood, told me to take risks even if I will fail.

Well I did told him that no matter how much I spoke with my family of anything; they would not listen. They never place attention to what I say.

Dur... I really wish not to speak much about my family, private and such. At least not yet, nor in an inproper way.

Anyway, I did do what Freelance told me, but it never had the right results, things backfired always. My family well... are not conventional. Like words of cheer just make them angry.

With that, I really didn't wanted anymore to speak with Freelance about; not to mention that maybe he just was tired of listenting to me.

Besides; with some of the info he gave me; it was an extra boost to the lack of faith I've been getting.

A bit before I had my mental breakdown in late 2006, I bought a book on Buddha, but read it after the mental breakdown.

Oddly, reading about it; it made me wonder just what is to exist?

When we die, we rally go somewhere; cease to exist and fade to nothingness or come back as someone else?

I was hoping to get enlightment and get to know more about asian religions, but it just made me sad.

Also, in a way I needed to know because my project, deals with all sorts of spirituality and the divine.

Some years later, with the info Freelance gave me, and had influence on Buddhism; well... it was suppoused to also give me enlightment, but it just depressed me; and in a way makes me believe that nihilism is the nearest thing to how things actually are. Like no matter how much we try, we get nothing, yet we have to keep trying and be happy on it; even though we should give out a fake happiness.

lol guys, it really is hard to explain; specially when I might deal with believers, non believers, skeptics and such.

Freelance tells me not to give up on my project. But honestly; I don't know anymore as I may be giving the wrong message, or doing the wrong thing...

My project... I was thinking to finishing it before 2012... a year ago; after Freelance told me how copyright works; I was thinking of working hard every day to make a 30 page draft. My goal was spring... then early summer... then whenever, then I made it, but...

The Nintendo conference is on right now.

>>7826
That's weird, I could swear I had a post following 7826 with a picture on it...

>>7841
I deleted it. Find something cuter to use.

Kind of unrelated, but if you're interested in existential issues and how the mind works then evolutionary psychology/sociobiology is what you should be reading. The Naked Ape trilogy (The Naked Ape, The Human Zoo, Intimate Behavior) is a classic of the field even though it's old if you want something to start with, it really changed my world view when I was younger.

>>7842
Honestly why man? I know I am going slow but really!? And what do you mean with something cuter to use? Great, even trolls are present here.

>>7844
Thanks for the advice.

I already mentioned on how due to the mental crisis I had on 2006; I didn't look at my waifus the same.

Not sure if hate, disgust, fear or whatever. Something that made me feel some reject towards them.

However in 2009 I had what I consider could be the final crush on an anime girl for me.

I met her a bit before my mental breakdown, but I really didn't want to think much on her, as I was being faihtful to Rei. But; I couldn't help staring at her, as she looked like Rei.

She kept hidding behind some trees; in that Naruto game I bought.

The girl in this picture. Hinata Hyuuga.

It took me years to develop a crush on her. It was around the time she was almost killed by Pein.

Wow... just wow. Hinata is such a beautiful girl. She is perfect! Not only she has a beautiful voluptuous body, but also a cherubic face and such a calm and peaceful personality.

She died to protect the man she loved... the man who never realized she was in love with him...

At least that is what we first tought... I agree that the dramatic impact of her death would had been great if Kishimoto would had let Hinata die in such brutal way.

But good thing he let her live... but still the man she loves pays no attention to her...

If someone like Hinata had feelings for me like she has on Naruto; I wouldn't doubt it for a second and I would make her my woman. I envy Naruto for being the love of Hinata.

After what happened in that story; I decided to have a crush on Hinata! (Around early summer 2009).

But... would it be OK to make Hinata the muse of my project despite Rei was the original basis of it? Would that be right?

Thing is, another thing that cautivated me from Hinata; is that back when I was in jr. high. I was told that a certain girl in first grade felt something for me. I asked who, but never got a reply.

Hinata sort of remembers me of that. Maybe there really was someone who cared for me, and I ignored her to the point I believe such girl never existed. Sort of how Naruto seems to dismiss Hinata often, even after what she did for her, and goes after other girls (...or Sasuke...).

Also, because of my indecision to live a normal, mature and realistic life, I try not to think much of Hinata as a waifu; since well; I don't want to have her or something alike.

I am getting near to the point of why I am writing this. So far, we know my waifus are Ami, Rei and Hinata. I am trying to find a pattern on them. My guess is that I am looking for someone who has qualities like them in real life.

Which brings me to some of the esotherics of Freelance. He says that it would be hard in reality (or as he says; this dimension), to find someone with such virtues as my mentioned waifus. He suggested me to "look into higher dimensions" but how I was going to do that, was up to me I guess.

Oh and yeah, I went into full waito naito mode when Neji and Pein brutally beaten Hinata. Unlike Naruto, I wasn't going to be easy on Pein.

Hinata... I see her as pure...

This doesn't mean I see the others as something less; but recently Rei "said" something that made me uncomfortable. Then again, considering that this is the Rei from the Raising Shinji manga, maybe I should take it as something else. But for now, this post ends.

And that is it. After the bad experience I had here; I just don't even feel like talking of this. Weird thing is, that part of what I was going to say; had to do with such things of life; like backstabbing.

And just today, marks a month of the reason I decided to talk of this in a hurry. Well, I was planning to do it anyway; but after what happened... I decided to say it as faster as possible. Besides, I don't know if continue it here or move it to /so/.

But again, this bad experience has left me butt hurt.

I don't think you can have multiple successive waifus. Girls you fancy, yes, but not a waifu.

>>7865
If by bad experience you are referring to your post disappearing, I was kidding about deleting it. Didn't think you would take it so personally or seriously.

>>7866
agreed.

>>7866
These definitely sound exactly waifu to me, people just react to it differently depending on their world view (and remember that this all takes places during over a decade). And OP, don't let that bother you, people try their best to understand here but they still can't always see how serious and personal this is to you.

>>7874
Well, I really tried my best and hard to express what I felt (which is not easy even with a personal notebook); just to be erased as a joke.

Sorry, vote of no confidence.

Fine I will say it. Again, I planned to write here ever since some time ago. But something happened and because of it I was not able to do it properly.

And now that it happened, I sadly had no choice but to write this, but now taking basis on what happened. Plus I also tried to speed it up as much as possible in case something else happens.

What happened is (and it invloves also my waifu deal), that my mother died about a month ago.

I was going to add some more to build up for that; but "your little joke" really made me feel down.

>>7884
Again with the jokes... sorry I just can't anymore with such way to handle things.

I feel bad for what happened, I really looked forward to reading your thread and it's really cruel for someone to hurt you when talking about something so personal. I can really relate to a lot you wrote and it's really admirable to open up about past like this. I couldn't do it myself.

>>7885
You can't have multiple waifus, bro.

What you have is a harem. Get it together, baby.

please go on mister, we would all like to hear your story out
im sorry to hear about your mom, you should remember and cherish your best moments with her
and what was that that rei said that made you uncomfortable ?
i wish you good luck and a nice year, bro

>>7902
>Guy said he had a cursh on Minky Momo. Then later not.
>Guy said he had a cursh on Sailor Mercury. Then later not.
>Unclear on Rei.
>Unclear on the unnamable one.

From what I get, he has no harem, much less waifu. So leave him alone and apologize so he can continue.

^who's the unnamable one ?

see what you donde to my fellow countryman, he wont speak up again. Damn i was really eager to hear his story

Fucking haters scaring off someone...

>>7917
>>7916
Two jokes were made, both of which were taken back. Jokes. No need to act as if we were intentionally insulting the guy. I'll apologize again and say I had no ill intent in my claiming responsibility for the disappearance of OP's post.

I am sorry, OP, for telling you to take it easy. I am an idiot and I didn't mean anything negative by my post, I mostly meant that it was okay and you didn't have to worry about being trolled or insulted in any way when I just wanted to reassure you, but that backfired and instead made you think I was mocking you.

I am truly sorry, OP.

  >>7918
>>7922
Hey sorry. It was my fault for not reading the rules.

You know, I've just downloaded the BTTF games from the PS Network, and listening to this melody, it calmed me down. It makes me think back of many things, when things were calm and innocent.

OK I will write more, not to mention that I might have to ask the help of mods for something.

Hi. Sorry but I have been busy these days, sadly I have no web at work, so not sure when to continue. But for now I want to mention about something posted in another thread.

>>7892
>It's quite strange actually: it's the first time ever that New Year's about to come (about 40 more min's, we're I live) and I dont' feel a thing; really; I had dinner with my family and all, but the entire thing feels just like what it actually is: another day's night, before the dawn of another (anyother) day...

That's how I felt in past years as I grew older. When little, for me the big day was Christmas; but I always wonder how come the gifts were never given on the very last day? Only interesting thing from it was the food (and taking care form stupid people who shoot into the air).

As I grew older (like around my teens), I sort of took some less importance to the end of year holidays. I kind of didn't see it as something special. Just another year... it meant I was getting older. And I hated growing up.

Plus, I always felt alone, despite being around with my family in those times. At my college years, well the anxiety was getting worse. I felt another year passed by, and I didn't achieve anything. I just couldn't speak with my family of anything.

And now, this past new year's eve. It all felt odd without my mother. We didn't had any food, only things our neighbors bought in. Funny...

Damn, despite she made me felt uncomfortable on new year dinners; I sure missed my mother. I felt I failed to understand her; but I never found out how to reach onto her. Sorry, I plan to bring that up later, but I was wondering how to apply this on your quote.

Wait... before I continue; I notice that most here come and write stories and comments on how your waifus changed you for the better, or happy endings around.

What I am going to write, is not exactly that. Do you guys really want for me to continue?

>>7971
Let it all out.

>>7912
>>7914
I believe you mean the girl whose picture got erased and can't be placed again, as it is against the rules.

>>7972
Let's see... I need to warm up as to how to restart as I kind of already told you a big deal out of it, not sure how to continue what to write.

>>7918
What I said wasn't a joke (>>7866) and
I take back nothing. If you had a girl you once liked, then call it a crush. If you have a girl you fancy, then call it a girl you fancy. A waifu is something which goes above and beyond these two.

OK, not sure what to say but I would like the image from >>7907 to be taken down please.

Honestly, any suggestions on from where or how to continue writing on this?

>>7978
why take down his image?

>>7979
Well, I was just trying to post an image of each of the girls I was going to talk of, so you can get an idea of to whom I refer. And considering how right now I am "uncomfortable" with Rei; an image of her is enough.

OK, before the rude interruption; I was talking about the girl from that series and my project.

I was going to make way so at the end I would mention about my mother's death, and how that has to do with it.

Not sure how to continue what I was going to say.

Guess I will say what is going right now in my mind (but another reason I started this thread); I hate Rei! I just can't help look at images of her, without feeling rage and anger! I feel betrayed!

^ why ?

Sadly, I can't presume of my imagination, now that Asukafag has mentioned his story.

Since young; I always loved stories of fiction. Not sure why, and that got me in trouble with my family. My father always disliked for me to mix fantasy and fiction so I had to be careful on what to say.

It always came to my mind things like what if certain characters met others and such.

Eventually, after many years; I decided to create my own original project. But how?

Around the time I came up with my idea, I had my crush on Rei, and so I decided to make Rei the muse of the project, and dedicate the story to her.

I've always wonder what if at her universe, they had a better chance for things to end up better. But of course, that wouldn't be an original story. Still I could take it as basis for my project.

I've got the extra boost after hearing Bump Of Chicken's song on Rei.

>>7981
Many things I see on tohno-chan make me rage but that doesn't mean it must be deleted. Most of us at tc have problems but everyone still has to make an effort to get along with each other. That means making concessions and being tolerant. Within a certain limit, of course.

Also I'm sorry to hear about your mother's death.

Post edited on 11th Jan 2012, 10:34pm

>>7912
You're right now that I think about it but why do we want this guy to continue?

This is bad.

>>7984
However, for a long time; I was not able to move on with my project; because my main character had no name. Still, the story was being worked in my head, but yet to be written anywhere.

Oddly, after my mental crisis, with the aid of my doctor I was able to get a name for my character.

Once with it, I began writing my project; when to my luck. My hard drive crashed. To date I am not able to recover the files; and back then I felt I wouldn't move on.

However, my mental crisis left me wondering many things. What is love (please don't bring in that annoying song)? Is it destined or something we look for? Is it perfect or does it have to be imperfect and yet we have to live with it?

Actually, ever since my mental crisis; plus the words by Miguel Russo, made me wonder if I actually loved Rei or not. And ever since; it was hard for me to see images of her (I still didn't hated her yet).

If I couldn't love her, then what was the point of working in my project; as she was the inspiration for it?

(Also, my web service has been failing a lot today; another reason why I am going slow).

>>7985
OK, then it is OK to leave the image.

>>7986
Well if you wish I can stop right now.

OK, after the reception from this; I have decided that the best would be to stop talking about this.

First I want to apologize to senor anime for asking to remove the image, nothing against him; but with the character in the image.

And I want to thank you all for your time in reading my thread.

I wanted to talk of this due to many things going on in my mind, and I wanted to discuss them with fellow waifuguys like you as to what to do now? With out the love for Rei, I don't feel like working on my project since she was the "love" reason behind it, and I decided not to keep Hinata as mai waifu because I was afraid she would break my heart, so I said no in order not to hate her like Rei. So yeah, right now I don't have a waifu, but was looking for reasons if I should go back to Rei.

Plus it made me wonder if true love is real, or yeah we have to hit and miss in life in order to experience it, instead of playing it safe.

Guess I have to move on in life with something more realistic, and expect and conform with less. I wanted to talk about my fears, well many things! Which eventually would take to with my mother's passing, and how I feel I failed her as a son, but what is done is done.

On how the world is not what it seems, on how people who you considered friends can betray you with ease; on how those with corruption have everything, on how come some of work hard get nothing (yet others who work hard get everything), well many things. Wondered if I was even worthy of any of the girls I fancy.

Yeah, I know I shouldn't be bothered by something Rei, a ficticional character said; but I felt like no matter what, even if I give triple effort, it won't be enough and I have to make an x5 effort, and if I give the x5 effort, it would be x233 and so on...

Well the project is cancelled, and I will just concentrate on my usual job now. Sorry for all the trouble. Bye.

>>7995
>Just a fictional character

I don´t want to poke dead horses but please don´t say that, ecspecially not here.
Anyway. Its sad how things played out in the end for this thread, farewell.

Farewell my friend, look deep down inside your heart and you will find that you still love Rei (cuz i love her too)

Farewell my friend, look deep down inside your heart and you will find that you still love Rei (cuz i love her too)

>>7995
>it made me wonder if true love is real, or yeah we have to hit and miss in life in order to experience it, instead of playing it safe.

I think that love, whatever it might be, it's something unavoidably aimed towards entities we build in our heads. I think that, since nothing in the actual world is really known, nothing/no-one in the world is really loved. I think there's no more love -neither more authentic- to be found out there, than the one you get to build yourself, in places like this one here...

But I can always be completely wrong. So go and try to find your own way, then, OP.

-------------------------------
"You said it yourself (continued Edison): the being that you love in the living one and who, for you, is the only REAL one, it's not the one that appears as a walking human, but the one of your desire. The one that does not exist and, what is more, that you know as non-existent! since you aren't fooled by that woman, nor by yourself. [...] It's only this shadow what you love: it's only her what you're now willing to die for [...] and wich is nothing else but your own soul unfolded on her. Yes, there you've got it, your love."
-Villiers de L'Isle-Adam ("L'Eve Future")

Oh come on OP! Don't give up! Please, I really wanted to hear the story. If it is possible, do it again from the start so you can get the pace of things; but this time, please; don't anyone interrupt him or mock him in any way!

Maybe if you say it as you feel and by your pace, we will understand you as I feel you came here looking for help and advice.

And really Y10NRDY; stop being a douche and apologize to OP! (Is it OK if we call him Reifag, no insult). Though from what I understand, you should rather keep Hinata as your waifu since you seem to feel more comfortable with her.

So please, tell us more. And if necessary; remove the second Rei image as he is asking for it. You guys removed the Hinata image for no reason rather than to make this slower and give anal pains to OP, and here he is giving a reason and you guys don't take away the woman that betrayed him somehow.

Anyway, please come back OP. If it helps mai waifu is Kanna Kirishima.

>>8056
My thoughts exactly. Tohno-chan is supposed to be special because like people can OP can open up here and be understood compared to other *chans, please don't spoil it. People can bitch because it doesn't fit a specific description of waifu, but this fits here much better than on /so/ because it's so close, so can you just let it be please.

Either way, if you don't feel like posting again OP, I wish you all well.

>>8056
>And really Y10NRDY; stop being a douche and apologize to OP!
Yeah, you're right. I guess I was being a cock.

Sorry, OP. Love whoever you wanna love in whatever way you feel comfortable.

Everyone's concept of the waifu is different. It's a very personal thing and this isn't a place where we should feel judged for how they conduct their relationships with their waifus. I retract my statements. I didn't mean anything by them. I really was just teasing.

Anyway, deleting my negative posts now.

Just tried to delete my mean posts but apparently I cleared the post passwords.

Tohno or any of the mods should feel free to delete 'em, though, if they're so inclined. I would do it myself if I could.

Not a waifu related picture, but the 3 last pannels represent how I have been feeling.

>>8088
lol: I started reading it like a manga.

>>8125
Newspaper comics must be fun for you.

>>8126
Garfield is much more interesting when read backwards.

OK I will start again.

I was born in the early 80's. I am not clear who was mai first waifu, but my guess is that it was Minky Momo, who went under a different name in my nation.

Eventually my family found out about this, and they didn't took it lightly. My father was harsh on me for being in love with a girl that doesn't exist and my mother mocked me with vulgar remarks of out local customs.

So I had to hide from them as hard as possible whenever I had crushes on other waifus (note: I had no idea of the word waifu, as just some years ago after 2005).

When I got into elementary school; I fell in love with an actual gril from class (actually, I've had crushes on other girls before that, but this was the first time (and perhaps so far the only one) who has agreed into being my gf). But also during my elementary school years, I had a waifu. I don't even want to say who she was, but just some pointers; she was not even an anime character, but from a western animation.

Odd that I had an actual gf irl while having a waifu. I kept wondering, was it because I saw on my gf the qualities of my waifu (tought they were a little bit different psychologically and in body), or I was actually expecting with the childish fantasy that my gf was actually mai waifu in disguise from the real world!!?? lol guess I was really silly don't you guys think?

At fourth grade, for some reason; my gf and I got separated; not sure if my mother had something to do with. I was crying, I was crying at the new classroom to which the teacher said is because I hated the first day of class after summer vacation, but I never told anyone I was devastaded I was no longer in the same classroom as my girlfriend.

Despite we still went to the same school, we used to frequent less eachother, to the point were eventually we stop seeing eachother. We never officially broke up.

After graduating from elementary, I had to take the unavoidable step of the teenage years as soon as I took step into jr. high. I wanted to avoid as much as possible anything teen related, as I didn't want to grew up. But it was impossible.

For some reason, at some point I decided to ditch my waifu, as I felt I was too old for her. Instead for looking for someone in real life; I made Ami Mizuno mai waifu.

And this was not something quick. Around the time I was in Jr. High; Sailor Moon began airing. I wanted to see it because I heard it was such a great anime; but I beg to disagree. Well it is OK, but I didn't like Serena. Though the only characters I found interesting at first as Ami; as she seemed caring, nice and cute. Someone you could rely on. Plus she was 100% concentrated on her studies.

My family wanted for me to only think in studying, not on girlfriends. And so I obeyed, odd how they didn't gave me this rule on elementary school. But at times I wonder this is a reason why my mother placed me in another classroom, so my gf wouldn't be a distraction. But why they never told me this back at elementary school.

Still again, I had to keep hidden my interest in Ami from my family. In a way it worked as I managed to be in the honor roll, but I felt I was not as smart as Ami; after all, she had a 300 IQ and I wanted to reach that in order to reach mai waifu, or so I tought.

Ami, well she was cute and all, but oddly; again I related her to someother girl in school. Sorry, can't say her name and we were never a couple or something.

She was a grade younger than me, she had a similar hair style as Ami's but her personality was a bit different, but not too drastic. Oh! and she was also a honor roll student. I wanted to talk to her that I had feelings for her, but I was afraid my family found out and did something. But it seemed everyone around us noticed that I had feelings for her.

It was during this time (last year at jr high) that I met Rei Ayanami. I found her attractive but I felt I had to be faithful to Ami. Meeting Rei was odd, I didn't even knew her name; but I couldn't take away my eyes from her. She was a beautiful enigma, I wanted to know more on her.

As I entered High School, damn it was complicated. I was never a honor roll student there, and I felt that because of it, I could not be worthy of Ami. Sometime still during jr. high, I finally got to know Rei's name but I was under the impression she and Shinji would end up together. Later at High School I knew how EOE ended, and decided to move from Ami to Rei. Seems heartless; but now I felt a stronger affiliation with Rei than with Ami.

Despite being mai waifu, and seeing all of what was NGE back then (late 90's). Rei was an enigma for me. Oddly, to date I haven't found to date a girl in real close ot me; to which I could relate Rei to.

Well I graduated from high school, still having Rei as mai waifu. Well, I could say that back then with my love to Rei; I felt I could do anything! I was young and impressed, that I could really change the world; specially with my love for Rei as motivator. I can say that college was easier than high school.

There is something else, (but I fear to talk about it as you may think I am ripping off Asukafag lol). Ever since really young I've had quite some large imagination, which also got me in trouble with my parents. I usually did fanfics in my mind; years before I even knew the meanning of the word. My dad kept saying I couldn't keep apart "reality from fiction," which really made him go apeshit like heck. He totally forbid me to do use my imagination like under dictatorship; or else. He even said not to do such things in jr. high... and he was right. At high school not much of a problem; as more geeks, nerds and otakus where there (rich kids were the problem).

I had to keep that "in the closet" with my family around. Still during jr. high; I decided it was time to stop doing fanfics and make something of my own creation (original character do not steal lol). But what?

Well, I really don't want to talk much about "my project." Because well, right now I am also having some "confrontation" with another one of the "inspirations" for this project. But the other main inspiration is Rei. With Rei, well at times I wondered what if I could give her a better ending than the one at NGE.

Welcome back, good to see you here again. I'm not being facetious either.

Post edited on 26th Jan 2012, 8:20pm

>>8158
>>8165
Please don't mock him this time. Let him finish.

Let's see... how to continue...?

Well I have to mention something.

As I said, I had to keep as much as possible; whatever interest I had on schediaphilia from my family.

I've known of people who wish to marry someone like their parents. I am not one of them. I really don't think I ever want to marry someone like my mother.

Sorry, I already know I told you what happened with my mother; that was going something to close as I originally planned before all what happened. And with what I am going to say, you might believe I am bad mouthing my desceased mother, but well... (keep in mind I found this site late this past summer, just when mom started to feel bad).

Anyway... OK it is hard to write. Well nobody is perfect, including me. My mom well, I dare to say she was somewhat vulgar and rude.

Man it is hard to write it down. But well, my mom around the house with us, acted totally different than with other people.

She had some gross habits...

Man it is true! One doesn't want to remember the bad stuff out of someone that died, much less a close family member! I do have nice memories of her, but I wish I had more than them. Why was it hard for mom to be like that?

Most of my life she was always like that; like if she never cared for anything.

Sorry for saying all of this. But my reality was like that.

And so just as some feel like some aversion to see your waifus being masturbated to or something alike. I really didn't felt like having things of my waifu around (or like watching her on tv) while my mom was around; or she was doing some of her "gross stuff" (of which I'd rather not mention); as I didn't feel like relating such things to mai waifu.

Many times I wondered if what I was doing is wrong.

Actually, a reason on why I also decided to take a career on psychology, was to be able to undertstand my mother (in a way; also Ami had something to do with studying such career for my mother). But sadly I was never able to; never knew how for her to open and be sincere; as sometimes she opened up; but then she "made me look" as she would tell me lies and make them sound like if they were true.

A friend of mine told me not to worry; as we could spend all of our lives and we would never understand others. So that kind of makes me feel better.

My family is religious, my mother had her way and after the first time she had cancer; she became more aggressively religious.

I was hoping this would make her better as a person, but she did become somewhat intolerant to some people and other faiths.

This is something that also made me question mine.

I always wondered if God was with her side, no matter what she do and how she beheaved. As another deal with my family is their "we told you so."

But she is gone, and at times I wished I could had done something.

Man I really fear for you guys to judge me.

On my project, well I remember that around Sept 11th 2001 I decided to work as possible on it by writing it, instead of just being in my mind, but most of that decade; I spent it on my college studies. I still had that love for Rei back then, she was my inspiration on why I wanted to continue studying; and even get into Grad school.

And then came the time of my mental crisis; which made wonder many things.

>>8188
Nobody will judge you, you're just telling things as they were. You'd never be able to get over things if you avoided them.

deep down in her heart she always loved you.

OP sounds like most of the people on this site - including me.

One thing I notice from this, is that I use "well" too damn much. Need to improve.

OK, where did I left?

My project... even though the idea came around jr high and high school. I decided to finally write it down in a notebook (paper) late 2001 (9/11 made me feel that I had to hurry); but honestly; I had no idea on how to even start it. Plus I only wrote some intro and that notebook got lost as far as I know.

And indeed it took me years to come up how start it; like for around 2007. After my crisis from 2006. Maybe it is time I should divert from talking about my project to go back into 2006.

I already said I met some guy I call "Miguel Russo" during that time. He basically flamed me and others on how we were wrong to see Rei as our waifu.

That made me wonder if there is even a thing like true love, or is it all an illusion?

Guess I've already talked enough about Miguel Russo and his ideology, which follows mostly that of Hideaki Anno; in the past posts. But his words were also part of what got me into my breakdown. Real me knew I will never ever meet Rei in reality; but I really wanted her; though real me knew that maybe Rei was a sign that I will meet someone like Rei in my life or that I am looking for someone like her.

But from what Russo said (and Anno to some extent); is that in reality one has to try various women until finding what you want; even if this means various failures. And once you settle up with someone, and fail; then it is time to move on and look for another one, none or "try with the other team." That there is no such thing as true pure love. It is an illusion as time, good, evil, this third dimension and such.

That got me really depressed, and I even wondered about the future of the world.

My love for Rei was in doubt and on thin ice. If I couldn't have love for Rei, then what was the point of my project?

I've always noticed that my family was dysfunctional; because of that I promised myself to never drink alcoholic bevrages (to date, I haven't done it and not slightly interested) and I wanted to marry the woman who would be my true love, in order to never fight with her, but that seems impossible in reality.

But my breakdown ended on early 2007, things seemed to be getting normal; but my love for Rei was still in doubt.

Oddly, around that time; my mother mentioned something which got into my interest, and kind of made me wonder other things (but guess that will be for another time). I also met Elvis who was well versed on making Rei related work, but never got the chance to see his site as mom was always around.

I had really low passion and intention on working on my project around those times, so I was hoping Elivs could help me out on some clues as he is able to make beautiful writings thinking on Rei. But he also seemed a bit clueless plus lately it seems he has been doubting as well.

Sometime later, I met Freelance. He is also working on a project by inspiration on another ficticional character (not a waifu of his). He seemed turstworthy so I spoke with him of how things were doing for me. He also introduced me to what he believes in. I really don't know how to talk about that, but well so far Freelance hasn't been a bad guy with me, he has been really nice so far and in a way he has helped me a great deal with some of my project. But well... maybe I should talk of that someother time.

Anyway, thanks to Freelance I decided to work on my project from zero, maybe the inspiration would appear all of the sudden.

But then in 2010, it happened, something that Rei said that made me angry. Then again, maybe I should not take it seriously as well... the one who said it is Rei from the Raising Shinji manga, and well... well... you know how some bash Rei fans as that Rei is not a single one but various clones? Well I always believed they were all the same Rei, different bodies, same soul. Though I've got that from the original series. Not sure how to apply it to Rei from other series, specially as Angelic Days Rei is so different to the others; but yet I loved Rei no matter who she was, as long as she had the good she had in her inside.

Guess it is time for me to tell what Rei did. It was what the reason I originally going to post here; as I don't know anymore what to do with my work. But then my mother died, which made things harder and even more the jokes you guys pulled on me! There is much more of what I want to say related to this and quasi related. But it is time for me to place why I hate Rei now!

Armbars everywhere.

More armbars everywhere.

>>8270
>>8271
One of the many things this makes me feel, is that no matter how much I try, it will never be enough.

>>8272

>One of the many things this makes me feel, is that no matter how much I try, it will never be enough.

That's just surefire proof that you love her.

The things she said to Shinji... I felt she was saying them to me indirectly. Really mocking me.

Not only it is not enough that I haven't been able to work on my project (and that I don't have enough time); but also that I am weak.

OK I having trouble saying it.

Here it is Shinji saying he is working on a story (I am too). My story was inspired by Rei, my muse...

And then, here we have Rei; who is a karate powerhouse, not only is she the girl who can turn everyone in LCL with a superpower, but now she is a Femme Fatale now! I mean I can expect this of Hinata, but Rei...?

It has taken me years to work on my project, time is running out. She is my inspiration, but as I realized that many who said it was wrong to be in love with her are right... I just don't know.

I really don't feel like working on my story if I don't have any love left for Rei. And I also blame myself because I had not worked on it 100% and that is why I came up with a name for the main character too late.

But someothers tell me to work on my story anyway; but without the intent of using Rei as my muse, and I do, but it ending up into something totally different to what I envisoned!

Not to mention that it seems that "salvation" comes by "creation." Honestly, I am not even sure on how to interpret that to me and others, but I am weak all my life. Physically weak, and nowadays in these later years I've finally been able to work out something, but just as it is possible for me... and then this bitch comes saying that???!!!

Honestly, I regret many things in life. Suppousedly, I should not regret anything but I do. All I have to do left is take whatever little time I have in use.

As I was never able to have a a steady relationship with my family, guess that is a reason why I also started having crushes on 2D girls. Because I dreamed of someone of my opposite gender on whom I could rely to and trust. And I guess I saw that in these girls I have mentioned.

Oddly, I remember the beach episode of Sailor Moon where Ami says that love should not be hurried up, and one should wait for your loved one. As I heard that, and back when I had my crush on her; I took that as a value of mine since I wanted a girl like Ami; not like her friends who were whoring out in that episode (even Eagle Eye noticed how much of a whores they were, except Usagi as she already had a man).

But real life does't work like that!! It all points out one has to be alpha and go and take risks even if one gets the wrong one! I too was trying the illusion that real love exists. But it does not.

I always saw my family as somewhat dysfunctional. My mom was always sad for something and well... my family was very different to that of others. I remember that the family of a friend of mine, love the old Travolta movie Grease, which is somewhat iconic to them. My family, were never like that; and just recently I found a term for that; they never openly displayed their emotions/feelings somehow. They were very "realistic" and so I suppoused that families are all like that, and that marrige is like hell. And yet I wanted someone.

It wasn't but recently after that my mother died, that a cousin of mine told me how when they were younger they did go out on dates and even did a whole lot of "corny" things. How come I never saw that in my life? And why did my cousin told me all of that when it was too late?

That is why I wanted to be with a girl like any of the 2D ones I loved, because I tought I would actually get along with her if she had their qualities. I tought that my parents just had a random marriage and didn't care for their feelings, and they didn't looked nor found what they wanted for, their true love.

Even after what happened, I still don't want to marry someone like my mother. And after what happen it makes me feel even worse. Everyone was saying on how my father was such a caring a loving husband with her at the hospital and that you don't see such commitment in men nowadays. And when she died, he gave again the "corny love talk" in her resting point. Why? Why were they so realistically closed!?

I don't even want to marry anyone who looks like, talks like nor shares my mother's name. Does this mean I will despise someone because she is ugly but she is nice?

Hoesntly, I don't know anymore. Plus her death is forcing me to grow up; and because if that; I don't think I should still be having a waifu. But...

Worse it seems that my mother had to died to proove that she was right.

Oh dear, I wrote a lot. A friend of mine, once suggested not to speak much of this, as I could get in trouble but I don't know anymore.

About the story I am working in, I really can't say much details. At first, I didn't want to speak much of it, to prevent someone stealing me the idea. But I just got the copyright, so I could speak of it, but I would be giving away the twist.

Freelance, it was thanks to Freelance that I had clues on how to work in the copyright. But I was not able to do it in any of the first 2 dates. It was in the third one, and sadly by then my mother was already in the hospital.

And as much as I feel it, without her; I feel less pressured and am able to work on other things; which gives me a feeling of guilt.

You know guys; this movie made me think not only about the subject it deals with; but also about life in general.

Good read. Thanks for your hard work.
You might want to check info on Existentialism.
"Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl is a good start.

And on a somewhat off-topic topic, I am tired of these people with their "if you ever had more than one waifu in your life then you never had a waifu in the first place" or similar extremist, nonsensical arguments.

I call it they are either really young or just insecure about their current relationship and trying to compesate. Or maybe both.

Plus shoving your belief on others should always be a no-no.

so you dont love Rei anymore just because someone told you ? you feel bad with your life because you dont fill your family expectations ? start living your own life, its your life not theirs. you must be happy with yourself and stop trying to please others. Accept yourself and then you may be able to accept others. You cant even understand yourself let alone your familiy. The answers are all inside your heart just like someone said in EOE

>>8288

No, I did not said I stopped loving Rei because someone just told me. He was using the same psychology as you did; and got me to realize that I was not living reality. It would never be possible to ever find her, so why bother looking for her?

In a way, this was also enhanced by a review on Club Nintendo magazine, as they did an article on the Slam Dunk anime/manga. In which they mentioned about Haruko's crush on the dream guy every girl wants, Rukawa. Rukawa is a bit similar to Rei, as in he doesn't speak much, is mysterious and gets the job done. But he really never cared for any of his fans. So, in the magazine's review it came the following "why try to look after someone who will possibly never love you back?"

Do I really want to spend my life following something that can't be reached? Besides, with what has happened I just can't follow fantasies anymore! Now part of my job's money will have to cover the things that my mom used to cover, on which I have to bring in economical plans.

Oh! But that has been the problem all along! That I make plans and try to think out things before doing them! Just like you said, everyone keeps telling me to stop being too organized, meek and polite. Well I will do just that. Tomorrow at work, I am going to yell with anger at that who I dislike the most.

And there is this girl I like, yeah a 3D real woman. I am going to tell her my feelings because I was trying to respect her, but who cares now! I am going to tell her that I want to be more than friends with her and if she rejects me and tells me to stop being friends, then so be it! And then I will try it with another girl, and another and another, until one accepts; and even if one accepts and stops being my girlfriend; I will live again and look for another one!

Oh and you say that I feel bad that I was trying to live to the expectations of my family. Well that is a problem, I did and I never did! I tried to study and be smart all my life, and now I see it didn't pay off! Everyone looks at me like some freak because I try to speak my language properly. And all of those who didn't make an effort in life, now have everything!

But of course, it is all my fault. My fault for not having done years ago what I should had done just these times. Now I have to continue with what little time I have. My project continues, but no longer with Rei as the inspirating muse. Sure it will be something totally different to what I had in mind, but so it goes.

After my mental breakdown, I had already came to terms, that I needed to work on it (my story), I was calmed down; also considering on Rei being my waifu, and then that happened. What she said in those pages... what she said to SHinji.

In that manga, it seems Shinji is also working on some story like me. I have been trying to do it for quite sometime, and when I finally get to do it, and face the fact that I should be a writer, and not feel bad for not being something else in life; she says those words. Those words which hurt me:

Rei: Having the ability to create something out of nothing, that really impresses me.

And she says that after displaying a feat of destruction.

It makes me feel bad.

I already came to terms, that it was OK what I was doing, then not only is she now a strong fighter, but she still dares to say that. Like if it is not enough what I am doing. It also hurt my manhood. Saying it is OK for me to be weak. Not only Rei now has powers, but now she is a skilled martial artist. Of course, I would have to take into consideration that she is Rei from a different continuity so... honestly I am not sure.

Not to mention that well, in accordance with the nature of my project; I had to research many things, from science to esotherical stuff; to know about fears and such, well Freelance also helped me on something. And if it is true, plus following Rei's words, guess that is it.

"Accept yourself and then you may be able to accept others. You cant even understand yourself let alone your familiy. The answers are all inside your heart just like someone said in EOE." Your words are true as they hurt me. Who said such words? Misato or Asuka as they sure sound like they came from them. With those words I figure I should not talk of the rest as you will say the same things as answer. For example? Have you figured our where I am from?

Here it is no longer easy to get out, or you could get killed at some random shooting. But I am sure you will say that it doesn't matter or something alike.

Anyway, with what Rei did; it means nothing will ever be enough for her. Now I have to aim at what she is doing, but for myself; not for her. I imagine even if I reached godhood/omnipotence, it will still be not enough for her. Nothing will ever be enough, nothing. That is why I hate her.

And yet, I still have some small feeling inside (like .0000000007%) that I still love her, but I have to face reality and move on. I don't want to be a martyr for her.

The reason why I stopped having Hinata as my waifu, is because I don't want to end up hating her like I do with Rei. As I still see Hinata in a good light. Pure.

Fine I will say it, it is Mexico. John Laringitis is right, here people don't have the aproppiate sense of humor. I can't go around saying these things, without people looking at me bad or worse some gang/cartel member trying to shoot me just because I think different. I once had hopes for Mexico, that it could change for the better; but now it looks impossible.

For Rei, I was willing to make Mexico a better place. She was also my motivation for that. But people are already used to living like we are, none is willing to make the change "in mass" as the few ones who do are killed or never heard of again. Heck, I don't think it would be proper to make my book here as it would probably bring me trouble considering the nation's socio-economical-religious scenario. (Heck, the Canoa scenario is grim).

Of course for this you will say "Accept yourself and then you may be able to accept others. You cant even understand yourself let alone your familiy. The answers are all inside your heart just like someone said in EOE." And so, I decided to speak Spanish properly, for which I am a pariah. Gee, I really don't feel like writing the rest of what I feel because "Accept yourself and then you may be able to accept others. You cant even understand yourself let alone your familiy. The answers are all inside your heart just like someone said in EOE." It really hurts me because it is such a valid point.

I really loved her... but all the change, sacrifice and effort I did for her was worthless.

Thing is, I have to learn to settle for less.

-I've always; all my life disliked political correctness (it took me years to know how to call it).

-Lately from what I have been reading and been told, is that everything, even reality is an illusion. You know how you guys say 2D is better than 3D, well it seems 2D and 1D are terrible places or something like that. How is everything an illusion? I don't know.

>>8279

This documentary shows me that in reality none is good, and you can't be honest and win. Another reason I decided I didn't want to get involved into politics for Rei and to help Mexico, because one can't use honesty there.

>>8088

I feel old and a dying breed.

>>8287

It is an excellent book. Some doubt the veracity, but still it is a great read.

There were many things I wanted to place but after this "Accept yourself and then you may be able to accept others. You cant even understand yourself let alone your familiy. The answers are all inside your heart just like someone said in EOE." I don't have to. Then what is what? Again, not sure if I will continue posting here, specially if some of you don't welcome what I just said; but you are free to write me at my e-mail if you wish.

Good bye.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I really appreciate the efford you made.
I would like to open myself and say something alongside your lines.
In the series ehich my waifu is in there's a phrase that shows through all the series: "To live is to fight.". You see my waifu is someone that fought countless times trying to see her wish granted, her wish wasn't something big, it was something quite simple: She wanted to be loved.
For this reason she fought against all the adversities, she fought even when she was incomplete, even after she discovered that her first and only friend up untill that moment, whom she had trusted and admired, only stayed by her side because she pitied her, hoping her to stay always as an useless thing unable to get the love sought so hard for. She even fought when the one she wanted to love her was someone who had only saw as less than a shadow the same one wholeft her as she was without caring to complete her nor to correspond her love.
And it's because she fought so hard that i fell in love with her. The more she fought the more shining she got, she shined among everyone else and as such I recognized her value.
What I want to say with this is, OP, Comomirar, whoever you are, I want to ask you something, it can be something incedibly selfish but I want you to listen to me.
I want you to shine. I want that, regardless of your choice in which of the paths in front of you want to follow, you go across that path being resilient. I want you to believe that the path you've chosen is the right one and as such the consequences won't matter because you'll be right. And in the end of that path I want you to look back and say "I have no regrets."
That's what I ask from you, please grant my wish.

i never meant to hurt you, you are my countryman, Rei said: the answers are all inside your heart and dreams are part of reality.
i once felt like you about Rei, i felt i wasnt good enough i felt i was weak, i cried becouse of her, her words were tough but they teached not to run away from reality, she cared for me, she made me change. Then i saw the episode Rei sacrifices for Shinji, was shiji good enough for her ? no, he was weak, but she still loved him, you see she still loves you and she wants you to be happy even if you have to hate her for you to move on. just like she did for Shinji. Then in EOE Rei forced Shinji to choose betwen Instrumentality (fiction) and reality. Shinji choose reality but Rei kept watching over him. Besides that manga is non-cannon you cant trust non-cannon, search inside your heart you will find that you still love her. You know im from mexico too, and yesterday my best friend's brother got killed. Im from Monterrey
ha funny how we are both from mexico and (i think) we love Rei

come back my friend, i feel bad for what i said D:

Honestly the way I see it, it is the other way around. Rei doesn't deserve you, in the sense that it seems you have been through a lot for her; just for her to diss you up or something. You deserve better than some ho who doesn't even care for herself.

From what I can tell, you know something about "burials" so it might not be hard to notice that Rei is just another cult of personality.

>>8328
>In the series ehich my waifu is in there's a phrase that shows through all the series: "To live is to fight.". You see my waifu is someone that fought countless times trying to see her wish granted, her wish wasn't something big, it was something quite simple: She wanted to be loved.

But at the end, she realized she was wrong.

>>8335
>Rei said: the answers are all inside your heart and dreams are part of reality.

Actually, that is something that Carl Gustav Jung said.

And I don't blame you, Mexico has been more than fucked up lately. Honestly what is it with them? The way they talk, their Spanish isn't very good as they take everything as a joke. I feel for you guys.

^ im pretty sure Rei said that in the movie (renember NGE borrows topics from psychology and religion)
but how can you deserve Rei ? how can you reach out to her ? how can she hurt you ? i think you dont reach out to waifus in general, they just live in your mind and heart, and provide some sort of motivation,
i dont want to say anything, when i try to help OP i just end up hurting him, happens all the time
and yea mexico kind of fucked up, with drugs and that

>>8435
>>8328 here
In the end she made her wish come true, she GOT loved. Just not by the one she thought at first.
And now, even in the manga, she is still fighting to protect that love.
All she did in the past led to her happiness and everyting worked out in the end because she never gave up.
Even if she reached happiness in a way different that the one planned it doesn't change the fact that she reached it.
And it's becaue of that endless fight for happiness that I love her.
If OP can fight that way, I'm sure he can reach happiness too.

^ umm what anime are you talking about ?

>>8489
Rozen Maiden

Hello guys. First I want to say that, I am no longer angry with Rei. After some discussion, I've think about it and it is gone. However, my love for her seems to have been gone.

(Edit).

Post edited on 22nd Feb 2012, 2:30pm

will you get a new waifu ?

>>8560
Good to hear that you've made out your mind and calmed your heart. Now tell me, doesn't it feel good to be able to understand yourself and your feelings better?

>>8328
Why is having regrets bad?

>>8630
That is... A good question actually.
Having regrets isn't bad in itself. It's depending on how are they handled. If you handle them well they can teach you very important things, however if you handle them badly they will keep torturing you.
What I think is that is better to not have them because they are usually sad, but I also respect if someone makes the decision of having them, it's a very praiseworthy decision if made for the right reasons. I just chose the other option, it isn't better nor worse decision, but is the one I took.

What if someone doesn't regret poisoning another person?

>>8701
I've been thinking about this question for a long time because I couldn't find a proper answer.
After this time I have to admit that I don't know the answer. What would happen then? would the one doing the poisoning be able to have no regrets? And if so, what would happen to him and the ones around him? Would still not have regrets even after that?
Since I haven't done such thing neither thought about doing it so I'm unable to answer that question. I'm sorry.

http://archive.foolz.us/a/thread/63241673/#63241673
seems someone copy/pasted the first post of this thread over to /a/, their response is in no way the least bit surprising.

OK, sorry for taking this off the griddle but there is something I've wanted to take off my chest for almost a year. And I want to take the chance on whom this thread is mainly aimed at.

I don't hate Goku and Rei. I really don't, they are good characters. What I hate; is this idea that they are the best. Because quite simply, they aren’t.

  >>9840
I am the best. I AM THE BEST IN ALL UNIVERSES AND DIMENSIONS!!!

For 30 damn years I have proven I am the best. Yet no matter how much I prove it; doing everything I was told to; doing every single stupid test in order to get good grades and be left alone to my own business and yet coming off victorious from them; I kept being vilified, hated, spat upon, yelled at, humiliated and punched at because they want me to be held down. Because they knew the potential in me, and if I had awaken that potential earlier on; things would had been different and much better.

You know who were also the best? Yakko, Wakko and Dot. And they were nerfed as soon as the higher ups realized they were too powerful, chaotic and unruly for their own interests.

The reason I had not said anything of this, was because out of fear of karma and its retribution, as well of the higher-ups as they kept me telling me about. But now after the tragedy that has fallen upon; I felt it was already time to say it despite they might do something worse.

Oh and hey for those of you who are cheering on me, and agreeing; you are just as part of the problem as everyone.

Maybe I should not complain, as sadly there are people who are suffering a whole lot worse, just because of that system of suffering as a currency... hold on a sec...

¡Hola Chava Cabañas! ¿Como estas?

The reason I’ve had enough of this is that no matter how much we try, only a select few will get everything; and not because of “own-merits” but because they “know the right person.” And sadly there is no escape. As much as I would like to escape this “sociological experiment,” it is impossible; and by trying to do so in a certain way; it will only get to you by being stuck to the reptilian demons, who the higher ups let them do whatever they want, for the sake of “making us stronger.” Because honestly, I prefer to be on neutral ground that being part of this.

And I would like to think; I would really like to believe that things will be better in the future. That all things will be better with the ascension to the higher dimensions in December, but the fact of the facts is that it won’t. If anything, things will be the same; or even worse as maybe the higher the dimension the higher the difficulty; all for the sake of “making us stronger.”

Another sad thing is that even after everything. You will keep on pouring money to Anno, Toriyama and their peers; even after they have bitten the hands that feed them and left you with nothing with debris in return. And praying not for the sake of faith, but for that of fear of the higher up in order to get help, but get nothing. And I understand that, after all; it is a business world in which I am just a disposable peon. Another “spun on the wheel.”

You know what is the saddest thing? That this world, this "third dimension" has all the potential to become a paradise. And I am not saying this in some corny way of sort, but it really has; as it has the trees, fruit and water to do so. Sure we have taken this place for granted.

They should have never used fear as a "fuel" or suffering as a "currency."

The only thing that is real is me, not Goku or Rei.

Maybe I will create my own universe to exist there and give it good rules to prevent all things from this one.

I was told too late of many things. On how the world truly works. On how corruption and dishonesty are the ways on how the world really works. But yet you have to “endure” it all your life just to “reach other dimensions” as a sort of blackmail. That creativity and having an athletic body are the ways to be saved but, plenty of those got the message very late. Oh! But at the end of the day, it is our own fault… when it isn’t.

  >>9841
And as soon as doofus and the doll get in charge, things will be worse. But the fact that all of them prefer to listen to someone who lacks of sense, a pathetic “yes man” like Alfonso Gutierrez, who, who is going to tell them everything they want to hear; not what they need to hear, we would had reached a higher dimension eons ago!!! But no, it was all about the fun of “growing strong.”

Well I don’t want to grow strong!! I just want to feel and experiment! But that isn’t good enough to the high council, who only exploits us all day and night long, for the sake of some stupid snake men who are as incompetent as us and them!!!!

Worse is that everyone will keep doing whatever that doll of Rei says; with no idea on how to reason on what she says. And doofus Goku is no different. The idea that these people might exist in the 9th dimension is a scary one; oooh but we can’t be afraid or lack faith… or else bad things happen!!!!

Now I have to work on my project out of compromise, not for the fun of it as intended; so I don’t end up bad when things shift. It is not the same feeling. But knowing that all of my life is a lie is just something disgusting. I wish I could say more on this but no.

You know why are we getting such crappy things now in the entertainment business? Because they want to dumb us down, yet if we are smart enough or don’t play their game; we also get screwed. Laringitis is only the start.

Let me tell you something about the higher up, you have seen how lately there are lots of anti-bullying campaigns, when bullying has been present since always? Well the higher up is the greatest bully of all times, and will get away with it, while we rot or reincarnate… (transmission is shut down).