Hey, /mai/.

I've been lurking around recently, and finally got up the nerve to make my first (real) post. Through the years, I've had many experiences with an intense attraction to an animated character. Though nearly all of them have been an example of "Love at first sight". I'll be watching an anime (or something) and then she'll appear. The experience is celestial. Her eyes, her hair, her voice, the way she talks, her mannerisms, her clothes, her inhuman (In a good way) perfection and personality...You know, all of that jazz. Simply beautiful beyond expression.

For a while, she is all I would think about. I'd fantasize about us first meeting, hanging out, kissing, making love, and eventually even marriage and what our children would be like. I'll even try to talk to her using this call and response thing, (where you think you're having a conversation with her, and the immediate thought afterwords is her response.) and attempt (and fail) to have a lucid dream with her.

After a week of so of thinking about this, I start to get jealous. Not at anyone in particular, just at the fact that I'll never be with this person. (Or with anyone even remotely like her). That same fuzzy feeling I had when I first laid my eyes upon her is gone, and it's been replaced by the polar opposite. A stark an ominous sickness in my stomach. The truth that my dream girl doesn't exist, and never will.

I really don't want to say I get bored with her, but I guess that's the frankest way to put it. I forget about her. I abandon her. I feel like the utmost douchebag.

I feel guilt. Painful guilt. Awful guilt.

After a while, I repress that guilt into the darkest corner of my psyche and forget about it the best I can. i rationalize it by saying that "She's just a two-dimensional character, you were silly to even take your emotions this far. It's your fault, you're your own worst enemy."

Then when I least expect it, another girl appears.

It starts all over again.

I really don't even know what to ask of the people who browse /waifu/...I don't want this to sound like a journal entry of a depressed schizophrenic, but I think I've made it that way simply by explaining the truth.

I've noticed this with the 3DPD girls I've tried to have a relationship with. The exact thing happens. The same thing happened to my grandfather (Who I'm very close to, and is very similar to me) Who's had 3 wives and countless of girlfriends and affairs.

I just want to stay faithful to one waifu.

I just want to feel loved.

I just want someone to hold me at night.

Fuck, what am I even asking? How do you do it guys? Maybe I already know, maybe I'm just ranting. Who fucking cares.

Pic related, one of my waifus for a time. I couldn't find a picture that showed her how I wanted to, but then I start to think you'll think of me using her as a trophy and I wouldn't want that! blah blah blah angst angst angst.

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Anonymous 08/08/11(Mon)13:20 No. 4648 [Edit] File 131283484713.jpg - (30.72KB , 720x480 , Maetel white.jpg ) >>4644 >Fix'd for you (do give it a thought, but deeper this time). Definitely some food for thought. Thanks. >>4645 Right now it's for sure, Maetel from Galaxy Express 999. I'd give that a try if it wasn't for the fact that I still live with my parents. (I'm a senior in highschool, so I'm not that much of a loser yet...haha) I'm paranoid my parents will think I'm some sort of weirdo. Maybe I could make it myself and hide it, haha.