what are you paranoid about?

Ah... this post is indeed a bit harder to grasp than the usual; so, if you don't mind to tell as more about it:

- Why do you "feel sorry" for your waifu? you think she is in pain?
- What are this "very wrong things" you think about?
- How do you "inflict" or hurt yourself?

Here is an example.

>>3340

It is normal post. But my mind: when I saw it. "You have good taste".

Why is my waifu not there!? Is she not good enough?

Another example is if someone talks about my waifu or talks her name. I feel like this person has hidden intention. Maybe this person insults her behind my back. Maybe this maybe that.

The worse is when I just walk outside naturally. Then I see a guy who looks at me. Why do I think that he knows of my waifu? Why do I imagine that I am getting hurt because of this guy? I do not want to admit it, but it is like netorare. I am very ashamed of myself. But I promise I do not like it. I hate it. Everytime I think about it, I cry.

I feel and know that these are fake, I am paranoid. I am bitter? I think. I feel that it is better if I did not have a waifu afterall since my mind is truly in the wrong.

How I inflict is basically hitting myself. Smashing my head or other hands somewhere hard. Sometimes taking a little pain killer. Sometimes smoking or drinking. I feel bad.

If I understood correctly, I'd tell you this:

Even if people say or think bad things about her name, in principle they are not really hurting you or your waifu because your waifu is your own personal and unique interpretation of the original character; she exists only in your mind and heart, where nobody can reach, so she is safe and untochable inside you.

You shouldn't leave her just because of that fear from others. But if you are in so much pain and you can't control it, maybe you should stop your affair with her for a while, to calm down and put yourself together.

>>3377

Thank you for that. As much as it pains me I think I may have to force myself to stop thinking about her. She is in my mind all of the time. Maybe then I can relax and hopefully afterwards we can be happy.

This used to happen me (still does to an extent), although in a more mild manner.

It's a tough thing to get over. Paranoia, jealousy, a subconscious self-hatred, they can all tear at you until you break.

You have to come to terms with it yourself.

You have to realise there's nothing to worry about. Even if people do say or mean negative things (which is very rare), they do no harm. A phrase I've recently fallen in love with suits this perfectly. "Haters gonna hate."

You have to be the perfect person for your waifu. If she were with you, she'd love you. She would never even think of anyone but you. Remember that. I know it sounds like bullshit coming from me (or anyone), but it's true.

The way I personally see it is, if I don't think I'm good enough, I get better. If you don't think yourself worthy, become worthy. Give it your all. Your mind doesn't control you. You control your mind, you control everything about yourself.

I actually looked back over a conversation I had with a friend of mine once when I was in a similar situation. It was a while ago, and it was on the topic of one of those threads on /a/ "post her reaction when you say 'I love you'". I started thinking along the lines of "why would she react happily at all about being confessed to by me?" and the reply I got was "Because she loves you."

TL;DR: Remember these two phrases even if it nearly kills you. "Haters gonna hate" and "She loves you." Remember those and relax.

Oh, and your English in that post is almost perfect.

I apologise, I don't know at what point I went incredibly off-topic with that post and I'm making too many assumptions about you.

I understand that you think people are insulting your waifu (even though they're not), because a lot of people here think that way. What I don't understand is why you hurt yourself.

>>3382

It's paranoia, dude. It's like, if you keep thinking about something and can't stop yourself from thinking about it, what else can you do? It's like being angry and punching a wall to relieve stress.

>>3382

Sharp pain distracts you from thoughts because you focus on the pain, and it also works as a deterrent. You *should* be less likely to think of it again because your brain associates it with pain. It may even work as a conscious punishment. Quite often, if I feel any sort of anger I bend my fingers back and whatever mild pain there is helps me to calm down, it's something similar to that.

>>3383
You might benefit from looking up "meta-cognitive method". You basically focus on viewing whatever unwanted trains of thoughts you may experience from afar as they drive by, rather than residing in them. Indeed you cannot stop certain thoughts from emerging, leading to angst and whatnot. You can however chose whether to get obsessed with them or not. It's simple, but not necessairly easy. It wouldn't be so problematic if everything was easy.