I remember back when it all started, when I first 'met' her. I didn't even notice her at first, but before long she caught my eye. Slowly, she crept up on me: i'd think about her more and more, I saved as many pictures as I could find, and I even, heh, didn't fap to anyone else for a good while. (a-although not anymore, obviously!) Something at the back of my head did wonder why all this was, but then I realised I was in love.

Funnily enough, this was only just about half a year ago, September or somewhere abouts. Just this Feburary, on Valentine's Day, 'we' had our first meal together. A bit improvised, yes, but it was still wonderful.

Not long after that, though, things started to turn sour. I'd always felt unworthy of someone so amazing, obviously, but this was far more intense. Every time I went to my desktop, she'd be there, and i'd feel her staring at me with hatred even though she was smiling. I tried to shut her out of everything I did, so I could stop thinking about it, but it plagued me for months(and I never did find the courage to change my background). I started to feel 'swings' of sorts - some days it'd be fine, and I felt that old warmth, and other days she felt like someone i'd never seen before, and that I was falling out of love.

Lately, this has eased up. I still don't feel entirely comfortable, and I feel like the situation could collapse at any minute, but I can certainly say I still hold affections towards her.

Why make a needless post, then? Well, i've managed to make things complicated for myself. A while before this all started, I watched something everyone was making a fuss over at the time. Turned out to be quite good, but that's not why I mentioned it. There was one character, who I didn't even notice at first, but gradually she caught my eye. She began to creep up on me, but until I began to feel strain between me and mai waifu I never noticed it. I tried to deny it, and tell myself it was impossible, but ultimately it was futile.

So, that puts me in a rather precarious position. I don't want to toss aside my old love as if I was some flavour-of-the-month normalfag, and as if she never mattered to me.