This is a bit of a anniversary post, I guess. If you're going to sit through it, get ready for a load of sentimentality and pretentiousness.

It has been almost exactly three years (give or take two or so hours) since I first woke up, and realized that Miya Asama is perfect to me. Two days later, I acknowledged the fact that I was, indeed, in love with a anime character.
There had been times when I was attracted to a certain character, and had "I wish she was real" moments, but not like this. This purple-haired woman just resonated with me.

It took me a few years of loving her to realize that she's the only thing that I'm absolutely sure will be there in the morning. It's bizarre, a girl who will never be real is my security. But that doesn't matter - I've heard about more bizarre things, and hell, this entire site is dedicated to saying those kind of things.

I was amazed, in chapter 111, when she referred to herself as a 'goddess'. It was somewhat surreal, because the writer used an exact word that I used to describe her. In a way, yes, she is a goddess of sorts to me. At the same time, however, I love her like I would a wife. And at the same time as all of that, I acknowledge the eternally hurtful fact that she isn't real. Miya can't love, but she can be loved. That kind of one-sidedness has a certain kind of poetry to be spoken for - I love her, and she'll never love me (she can't). I described it as 'tragic' before, but I came to the realization that it's not. It's simply a fact, and that's the end of that.


She made purple my favorite colour, and 01 my favorite number. She's the one who I think of whenever I hear a love song. She's the pinnacle of beauty. I don't think there will ever be a night when I go to sleep wishing to wake up next to her, or a morning where I'll feel the smallest prick of disappointment when I don't.

However, in the end, all I have are my delusions of her - My thoughts on how she would act in certain situations. In all of those thoughts, though, I love her because she's the perfect depiction everything I wanted.