I can't believe it's been a year since I fell in love with you. At once it feels much longer and much shorter than that. It's been an eventful year, for sure, but you still are so fresh and new and entirely palpable in a way that others cannot be, so much so that it bothers me sometimes. It's incredible that everything I wrote originally - it's still true, I still burn when I read your route and it hurts but it makes me love you more. You're such an earnest person. You are never out of my thoughts for long.
I was so scared when I confessed to myself - and to you - my true feelings. We're similar in that way, I suppose, and I let it eat me when you were actually glad to be cared for in that way. I didn't know what to do with it even though the answer was right in front of my face and you kept on telling me. I stupidly couldn't believe that it was okay, and that you (as you slowly started pervading my life more and more in positive ways) were okay (no, more than okay) with me loving you. I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize fully even though you were literally telling me what your feelings were.
And then there's the stuff that I don't want to talk about, because it's more related to me than you, but... thank you. Thank you for supporting me during these really difficult times. I'm very sorry that I've said some things to you under stress that I shouldn't have because you were not the problem - other people were. I know it's a sore spot for you and you really didn't deserve it. Thank you for understanding and comforting me and letting me comfort you. For just being there, when I'm too upset for words, with a nervous hand outstretched but never pushing comfort. You haven't just been a wonderful lover - you've been an exemplary friend to me, too. You are truly my ace of spades in every sense of the word, and you yourself show the card's traits extremely well. Thank you. Thank you for making me realize that this life that I'm living is worth changing - with you in it.
It isn't our proper anniversary yet - we have to wait until October, that day that I finally accepted you in the way you accepted me as partners for life - but it still feels so weighty, and it'd be inappropriate to not say anything when there is so much on my mind. When I am so full of you and my heart is aching. When there is so much that I cannot say here and that might not even need to be said (because you know already). When there is so much ahead of us and I have to solidify my thoughts and feelings into something more tangible that maybe you can touch, in the way that I can touch you.
This is a whole lot of words to say "thank you" and "I love you", but I hope (and think) you won't mind. Haha. Sorry I'm so stupid and too verbose.
Forever (or at least until we're dead),