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10628 No. 10628 [Edit]
Hello, Tohno.

I would like to request your help/answers on a certain topic, and that is getting too attached to your waifu.

My friend told me recently that he developed an anxiety disorder because of his waifu. He said he started taking it too seriously and fell in love with her waifu. After a while, he started getting very anxious just thinking about her and has even vomited several times. Do any of you have similar experiences? Any experiences/info would be much appreciated. Feel free to ask for more details.

I don't really know where else to ask this, they don't seem to take me seriously anywhere else when asking this.
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>> No. 10631 [Edit]
I hate to say this, but looks like your friend has finally fell in deep love with his waifu.

I do not see anything wrong with that, but what greatly alarms me is the anxiety with falling in love with her.

Is he scared to admit to himself that he's in truly in love with someone who does not "exist"?
>> No. 10632 [Edit]
This is the first I've heard of someone getting "too attached" to their waifu. The only time I've been anxious is when I felt insecure about my relationship with my waifu, letting the green eyed monster have it's way in my brain. I've felt symptoms like puking and feeling very sick because of that. I just learned to not get bothered by petty things like that and that kind of anxiety stopped. Then again, it could very well be >>10631 , it seems like the more appropriate answer. Someone who isn't too keen on the concept of waifu-ism suddenly falling madly in love with something that doesn't exist is dangerous-- of course, this is assuming your friend was a 100% normal guy before any of this happened.

Anymore details that might help us help you? In fact I'm actually really interested in trying to help this fellow out.
>> No. 10633 [Edit]
Does something happen to her in the anime/manga/whatever she's in? Death, written out, sudden and drastic personality change, betrayal, anything super-heavy like that?

It's entirely possible he's been suddenly shocked if something like that happens to her, because he wasn't expecting it, it contradicts his ideal fantasy of her, etc etc. It could be any number of things, but that's my general idea on it.

Or, it could be a case of just "going too deep too fast." Essentially he dived head-first into the deep end of the swimming pool instead of walking into the shallow side.
>> No. 10634 [Edit]
I'm not OP, but could you explain what's the exact meaning of "going too deep too fast"? I'm kinda interested on this as well.
>> No. 10635 [Edit]
I had some similar experiences of getting very anxious/feeling ill thinking about her, but it always come from an specific circunstance and it's not like your friend experiences.

I'd rather not talk about it.
>> No. 10637 [Edit]
>He said he started taking it too seriously and fell in love
Well, at least here on /tc/, I thought that was the actual point of having a waifu, OP. And whatever happened to your friend it's just the consequence of it, with all kinds of shit to be expected. Love can wreck your life, indeed, in every way; so tell that guy to acknowledge it, and be ready to live and die with and for his waifu, come what may... and to come and post about it.

Post edited on 12th Oct 2012, 6:05pm
>> No. 10640 [Edit]
>>10628 yeah, regardless of your (or your friends) beliefs when it comes to having a waifu, I'm curious to see what he has to say. Have him post about it
>> No. 10644 [Edit]
It's pretty hard to draw a conclusion without really knowing more about your friend's situation, but as for personal experience, I can back up what >>10632 said. Anxiety, insecurity, jealousy or guilt over your feelings can definitely have physical repercussions, as they can in any relationship. A few times now I've struggled with some personal issues related to my waifu, and on top of that uncomfortable uncertainty, I've sometimes started to feel legitimately sick.

Now I haven't been driven to vomiting just yet, but then again I'm probably still in the kiddy pool of waifuism.
>> No. 10665 [Edit]
Well, I'm actually facing a similar problem.
You see, my waifu has helped me a great deal to put my life back on its tracks, she helped me to get out of an horrible situation, she made me continue with my college studies, she gave me morale, made me more brave and more open. She is my inspiration and I love her oh so much. She also made me understand better the people around meand gain some self confidence. With her I learned that, if I put enough effort, I can get whatever I put my mind on.
However, as much as this has helped my life it has also created my problem.
There's one single thing I can't get, no matter how much I want it or how much I put effort in it's still unattainable for me, and is that very single thing what I want most in the world: Her.
And by her I mean the actual thing, be able to meet with her, but that is impossible.
I don't know how describe this properly, but I want to be with her, I don't care how bad is the world we live in, I don't care if my head keeps shouting that this is and will ever be impossible, I just want to be with her.
In some related notes I want to be with her in reality because I can't and won't turn my back on my life since we fought so hard for it, even if I were to be teleported to an alternate dimension with her, all our efforts here would have been in vain. Is it that bad if I want my life and I want her both? I can't really live without either of those, or at least not the way I want to live and actually try to live.

These thoughts make me feel, if not anxious, extremely sad. I don't know how to get rid of that feeling, but I don't like the alternatives either. I just don't know what to do.
>> No. 10666 [Edit]

I know what you mean, I felt sad that i´ve kept telling her "Soon, we´ll be able to live together" while being full aware of the fact that this is impossible. I was able to overcome it by convincing myself that, if i live a life that would make her happy, I´ll be able to live together with her in the next one.
It took me some time to really got into this. But it eliminated that problem.
>> No. 10670 [Edit]
I think the same way.
>> No. 10672 [Edit]
I've done the same.
I feel it's the closest way of being apart.
>> No. 10682 [Edit]
File 135029771825.jpg - (880.04KB , 1942x1377 , sdsdg.jpg )
I've been ready to ruin my life (and I have) in order to love her and be with her, by the means I understand to do so... Does that count?
>> No. 10683 [Edit]

Having a waifu means to sacrifice a lot anyway (at least from a common point of view, i guess) so that sounds not wrong at all.
>> No. 10686 [Edit]
No offense or anything, but can you explain more? Isn't point of having waifu to make you feel happy? Ruining your life doesn't sound very happy.

This is my super subjective opinion, maybe little bit off topic and I am not sure will it help OP's friend at all. I think there is always "too much" in everything. Because everyone has limited capacity and if you focus on something too much, other things will be unfocused. I think everyone has at least heard about Sims games right? I think it is actually pretty decent simulator what life is, but of course real life is more complex. When you focus on filling one bar, other bars will go down and character will be unhappy. Let's say you are just trying to only fill your "love bar", everything else goes down. In the end you end up in hospital bed and you are just repeating words "I love my waifu, I love my waifu...” Is that happiness? I don't think so. What happiness is in my opinion, it is balance of everything.

For me, before I had waifu, all my "bars" were above average expect my "love bar" and I felt unhappy. Now all my "bars" are fine, I feel happy.
>> No. 10687 [Edit]
There's no "point" to having a waifu. It's just what happens when the person you fall in love with happens to be a fictional character.

Usually, being in love brings about happiness, especially when it comes to waifus because this kind of love forgos a lot of the usual difficulty with being in love with a real person, but love of any kind can always bring about pain.
>> No. 10688 [Edit]
>Ruining your life doesn't sound very happy
Well, it depends, of course...

In Deleuze's concept (from the little I've been able to catch), happiness would be the fulfilment of one's entire puissance (power or potency, emanated from will). Under this definition, there are no negative puissances: on the contrary, evil is the castration/denial of one's or someone else's puissance. By such means, a happy life isn't necessarily the healthier, more joyful, fair, peaceful, balanced or somehow successful one according with (ever changing) social parameters; but instead, and disregard of further consequences, to live such a life that fulfils one's ethical puissance: to be able to live life as we decide to do it and, moreover, as we think it is correct.

In that way, loving my waifu, the very way I do it, renders the happiest life I could possibly think of right now: it gaves sense to everything I ever do and, without her, I'd be utterly lost, I wouldn't be me, I'd be nothing. It is a hopelessly lonely, bitter, sickeningly melancholic and reverberating failed life for most practical purposes... but it is the life I chose to live; and it's worth it because it is, nothing less, the way of life where I'm legitimately able to love (as I conceive it).
>> No. 10689 [Edit]

(not op) you speak the truth, however what op is saying is sacraficing from a, well im not sure how the phrase is taken here, "normal" persons point of view, ie you wont be able to be in love with a "real" woman again. Now, to a "normal" that would be a sacrafice; however to most of us we dont see any sacrafice in it as we are more than satisfied with a waifu, but a "normal" would pity us in having a waifu as we have given up in what they consider love. In his eyes, you have to sacrafice something to gain a waifu and that thing could bring happiness IF we didnt already have a fufilling love. You see it as un sacrifical because younare happy with your awifu and dont see any sacrafice in it
>> No. 10690 [Edit]
I have to disagree with that statement. I hope you understand I am not trying to force my own ideas on you or I am not saying you are loving your waifu in "wrong way". I am just trying to understand other people who have waifu better and maybe I can find something new for myself. Again this is my subjective view, feel free to share different opinions.

What I think, people don't just randomly fall in love. It just doesn't happen like that even it might feel so. There is always condition: one can fall in love only if he believes he will experience something better with other one than alone. There will be disadvantages and pain too, but when one falls in love, advantages feel outweighing disadvantages.

I believe in some levels love is always a choice. About 3D relationships people always talk about how people stay in relationships which are unhealthy, hurt more than they bring happiness. When poster said he is ready to and (already) has ruined his life in order to love his waifu, that sounds very similar than when someone is in relationship, where partner cheats and acts violently, but s/he stays with her/him just because s/he loves her/him. Sorry if I am misunderstanding but that just sounds like it. For everyone of us it probably feels right choice to get away from relationship like that, no matter how strong the love is. When condition of believing "there will be better experiences with this partner than alone" fades, and love fades too eventually.

In the end it comes to what means to "ruin a life"? In my ears it sounds there is more pain than happiness, so it is against the condition of falling in love. If it means to sacrifice minor things for greater good which is something more important, it is not ruining life. Also good question is: what it means to love someone? Because it is so abstract thing. Also can one just force himself to love someone?

For me it's total opposite. Having a waifu brings me happiness, yes it brings pain too, but happiness is yet much stronger. And that's reason why I keep living together with her. But if I someday woke up and realize having a waifu will hurt me more than it makes me happy and it will start to ruin my life, I don't see reason to continue. Part of loving someone is also letting her go, when it hurts too much.

Post edited on 16th Oct 2012, 7:15am
>> No. 10691 [Edit]
>Also good question is: what it means to love someone?


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