, the need of others for I to even be.jpg
That waifu definition was kind of a mechanistic one (like defining sc. method as what the scientist do on the lab, or temperature as what is measured by the thermometer), thus an uncompromised one and not very useful to adress the ethical problem you refered at the end...
Nevertheless, I do think you have a point: if the problem is human relationships, having a waifu as an act of rejecting them altogether to hide into an inner world of fiction, and based on a character from the very NGE series, apparently shows a poor understanding -or disagreement- with the ongoing discourse of the show. The thing is (and this what I personally think), the Eva discourse went even further than that, and so further conclusions (concerning the very functioning of human relationships, love and this waifu thing) can spring from it.
Even at the TV ending (and way more explicitely than in the movie), Anno wisely pointed out the general need for limits/boundaries to -indeed- define anything: there must be a restriction, a point of view, an unavoidable subjectiveness, to make anything even intelligible and useful for anyone's framed (and thus personal) purposes. In particular (and this is what the movie adresses the most), this makes us face the problem of what the real/objective world might be, wich can only be solved, sufficiently, by conceiving it as the very condition of possibility for subjectivess to even occur: the world/reality must be, at least, the common place for one and all the other minds/subjects to co-exist AS SEPARATE BEINGS, each one confined into their own (AT Fields, final individuality or) dreammy/delusional viewings of the otherness, and ultimately unable to truly reach (objectively) anything or anyone else...
And that, Anno tells us, is the very initial cause of eventual and unvoidable failure in all human relationships; for in the world, by construction, we simply can't ever reach someone, let alone unite/become one with that person; wich left me, at least, with the personal conclusion that the only honest way to experience love, or being with your actual beloved one, is when it's made absolutely explicit that it is nothing but a fabrication in one's head, wich trully exists, as one conceives it and loves it, only in one's head... v.gr. as it happens with a waifu: a character emerged exclusively from the falsehood of art and imagination, where such ideas as love and soulmates really belong to; a relatioship with nothing more than just a part of one's inner self: voilà the only way, in coherence with NGE, in wich we can truly unite with anyone (other than by the unwanted, for unintelligible and senseless, sea of LCL). So, you see, rather than runing way from the problem, I faced it and I'm living in accordance whith the closest I could grasp to a solution for it, even if the consequences are uncertain and likely painful; just like Shinji did, actually, at the very end, by choosing to let the world be what he had done of it: to be true to himself, by remaining (what he has made of) himself.
NGE, I think, was indeed stronger than just adressing posmodern japan or global/occidentalized society's specific/existenciary problems; it reached the point of adressing ontological/existencial problems: of existence in general, where all questions are hard and no answers can be called ultimate; while, at the same time, it also dared offering a crude but honest ethical aproach to those questions... namely:
What is the initial source of all conflict and failure throughout our lives?
Why do we even experience doubts and problems at all?
Why do we even fail, or conceive failure in us, at all?
Why are we even here?
Why am I even here?
Who am I?