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24784 No. 24784 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I know it's a touchy subject, as the debate of what a hikki actually is is somewhat controversial, but have any Brohnos ever had stints of full hikkidom? As in, total isolation, even from social websites?
Do you regret it if you did?
Did it cause mental problems?
Would you do it again?
Did you even enjoy it?
>> No. 24785 [Edit]
I had.

Regret? Depends. If instead I could theoretically be living a full and happy life shared with people who loved me, then yes. What kind of life can someone like me expect in reality? An austere one, filled with slavish work and cruelty of others every day, with no reward for bearing the pain.

No mental problems whatsoever.

Would.

It's not about enjoyment. You don't withdraw to have fun, you do it to be able to endure living.
Hell is other people.
>> No. 24786 [Edit]
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24786
>>24784
Yes, for a short time I experienced that.
I lived by myself in almost complete solitude for a little more than half a year, without internet, and for one month or so without computer since it broke.
I was kinda depressed since the idea was to kill myself when I used all the money I had left, that was a source of anguish. But at the same time I was at peace, without knowing what was going on in the world and no one bothering me for the first time in my life. Also I'm a digital hoarder and I have been preparing myself for a situation like that for years, so it wasn't too boring since I had anime, movies, videogames, podcast and stuff to read until the end of the world. I always liked the idea to accumulate media then shut myself from the world in a bunker or something.

It's really nice to wake up knowing you don't have anything to do, you can do whatever you like today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, only problem is you can't keep living like that for too much time.
People that say you only enjoy free time when you don't have too many are wrong, I enjoyed my time better then than while being a wageslave.
>> No. 25155 [Edit]
Yeah, only but for a few months each time.

Didn't regret it. I'm just not cut out for contact with people. Even here on tohno I often feel bad or sad. There are just too many people who I don't understand at all. People so different from me I feel like my sense of reality crumbles. Or people who get angry and antagonistic for no real reason. I guess I'm just a really weak stupid pathetic person but I never really regretted withdrawing.

I did become slower and developed a stutter since all my verbal thinking was tied into posts on image boards. I also noticed I became paranoid and scared of people in real life.

I keep trying to do it again, but I always end up crawling back.

I don't really enjoy it, but at least I'm not being hurt by other people as much so that's something at least.

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24681 No. 24681 hide watch quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I'm seeing an increasing amount of articles online about a "loneliness epidemic," primarily affecting men. Most of these events are related to the UK, but I assume that might be because funding for these types of studies might be harder to get in the U.S.

For instance, you have the UK funding an entire government program to focus on this (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/17/world/europe/uk-britain-loneliness.html) and several recent articles/studies about this issue (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7488709/One-five-men-no-friends-loneliness-epidemic-leaves-thousands-living-isolation.html).

Yet at the same time you also have people (most noticeable on online mediums) self-diagnosing themselves with "anxiety" or "depression" in order to get attention, and these same people spend their day seemingly content to browse an endless filler of superficial fluff content (whether on facebook, twitter, or reddit).

And this is all set against the backdrop of technologization (mobile phones, adtech, etc.) which has fragmented society, enabled this "gamification" of behavior by companies, and is supplanting the original charm of online discussion with the same seemingly mass-manufactured filler.

What are your thoughts on all of this. Is the "loneliness" epidemic that the media reports a genuine phenomenon? Given the nature of this board, it's probably not wrong to assume that we've experienced isolation and emptiness for a long period. Have we been at the "leading edge" of a phenomenon that's starting to gradually affect more people (and if so, what is the cause). Japan too has also been a precursor in this as there the phenomenon of hiki and herbivore men has been seen for some time. Or do you think the type of "loneliness" affecting the general population differs from our situation in some sense. (Note: the articles and studies conducted specifically mention friends, not romantic interactions. Yet at the same time one cannot help but feel there exists some difference between those that ha
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>> No. 24688 [Edit]
Lots to digest here. For the record I live in the US. I'm also 30 years old.

> Is the "loneliness" epidemic that the media reports a genuine phenomenon?
I don't really have a lot of (or any for that matter) friends, but I do have coworkers who are around my age (+/-1-2 years). None of us are married, and we're all from engineering backgrounds. A few of us do have 3DPDs, however. Me personally, I would say that my main "problem" is that I am lonely. I think about it daily, and I struggle with it. My main source of dealing with it is image boards and trying to be cheerful at work (I am actively afraid of losing my job, as it means everything to me). I don't know how to solve this problem, because of my live situation. The real solution would be to, obviously look for a nice women to befriend, but I really don't have the living situation to deal with that (I live with my parents).

> Or do you think the type of "loneliness" affecting the general population differs from our situation in some sense.
No I think that Hikiki and what we're experiencing are very similar. Both stem from a feeling of inadequacy, fear, lack of meaning, and self esteem issues. Not saying these are all of the reasons, but they're the ones I have at times related to.

> Note: the articles and studies conducted specifically mention friends, not romantic interactions.
Specifically on the subject of friends. I don't even know how you make ones anymore. I've lived with an "inability to make long term relationships" all of my life, and I struggle with whether or not I want a relationship, as I'm afraid of being let down again (Being let down is pretty much a core aspect of my existence). People say "go to the gym, get fit, go drink / watch sports at a bar, play sports, ect." but none of those things interest me. I'm sorry. Also no, it has nothing to do with "Soy" or other BS that's being propagated. I just find those things boring, and part of "normal culture".

> been part of the "excluded group" from childhood
Not going to lie, there was only a sm
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>> No. 24690 [Edit]
>Specifically on the subject of friends. I don't even know how you make ones anymore.
I don't think the structure of modern society is really conducive to making genuine friends. Most of your day is spent at work, but forming deep friendships probably requires a long period of having known each other which necessarily limits new friendships to your co-workers. This is combined with the fact that most other people prefer to stay in their cliques and that social media has normalized the notion of shallow interpersonal connections. And if you are not very sociable or have interests outside the mainstream, the challenges become almost insurmountable given that there are very few others who you'd likely get along with in the first place (and they would probably be as unsociable or quiet as you apriori so finding them is akin to finding a needle in a haystack).

If we accept technology, modern society, and ephemeral relations as a given, maybe the solution might be to somehow follow in the footsteps of monks and cultivate an appreciation for the ephemera while learning to distance oneself from others? It's certainly not easy, but you have many monks and such who spend most of their time in isolation just meditating, and I assume that by doing so they've overcome most of these emotional desires.
>> No. 24700 [Edit]
>Oh you're lonely and possibly involuntarily celibate? LMAO fucking privileged alt-gamergate anime avatar russian nazi bot manbaby misogynist, why don't you fucking KILL YOURSELF while we have sex and fight climate change and shit *dabs on u* #Winning #MurderedByWords
And that's all society has to say on the matter.
>> No. 24703 [Edit]
>>24700
I think that's primarily limited to the (very) vocal segments of twitter/facebook/etc. though. Sure, the average person probably harbors those same sentiments but not to the same extent.

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24485 No. 24485 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you see any appeal in traveling? When I was younger, my family took me on a vaction every other summer to some far off country. We used a time share, so it's not like we were rich or something. Most locations were out of the way apartment buildings instead of hotels and that kind of thing. I'm glad I got to do that kind of stuff during my life, but if I had the option to go anywhere now, I don't think I would go for it.

The travel itself is a pain in the ass. Airport security makes me anxious. Jetlag and riding on a plane are hell. Even when you finally get there, it feels like you're not getting what's promised. Especially if you don't know the language of whatever place you're in and don't have any relatives there; you feel like an outsider who's just looking around for a little bit. It's like reading a textbook; you're not really experiencing the country, which takes a life-time in my opinion. Navigating and figuring out public transit is also stressful. Going back is a pain and kind of gloomy.

Food is usually pretty hit or miss if you don't do research, and if you're unlucky enough to be in a place with no english servers you're fucked. If there is an english menu, it's touristy shit. It's not actually relaxing unless you're at a resort, which is a complete waste of money since they're all the same and going anywhere outside of it is a massive hurdle. My room is good enough and sight-seeing doesn't satisfy me anymore.

Oh, and the biggest issue: I don't have anybody to go with.

Post edited on 28th Jul 2019, 4:54am
12 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24513 [Edit]
>>24506
You should theme it somehow. The modern vaction has become a haphazard photo shoot, but it doesn't have to be that way. It could be a food tour or a music tour, or a cultural tour, or an otaku pilgrimage or something. Before going though, you should buy whatever tickets and make whatever reservations you need.

Post edited on 4th Aug 2019, 7:07am
>> No. 24515 [Edit]
>>24485
I used to daydream about traveling to lots of places when I was younger, but your second paragraph includes some of the reasons I don't want to anymore.
In my early 20s I got the chance to actually travel somewhere I had dreamed about going and it was horrible. I was constantly stressed and anxious, the schedules I had planned before I left gave me no enjoyment and just left me exhausted and confused. Nothing was worth the hassle. I just wanted to wait in my hotel room on my computer until I could go home.
The only fun I actually had was going to the grocery store. If you travel any significant distance (even within the same country, if it is big enough) the things you can find in a grocery store are totally different, and since the food in grocery stores is generally only a couple of dollars rather than the price of a full meal, you can afford to buy pretty much every single item that looks interesting to you.
>> No. 24519 [Edit]
Just like how there's a Shikoku 88 temple pilgrimage, there's a new Otaku 88 pilgrimage. Some of the "holy sites" may interest you.
>> No. 24656 [Edit]
I often think about it but I've come to realise it's more about mentally escaping my life than actually visiting somewhere different.

As in my troubles will go away if i physically move. I think about this so often.
But, when i think about it there is nothing i particually want to see. If i did i could justy see it online. I've spent hours and hours looking at streetview for various countries.

Even looked at airbnb rooms and imagined interacting with the people. I know how the interaction will go. I know how i will speak and how the conversation will go.

Which is strtange considering the anxiety i feel when travelling. A couple years ago I flew 30 mins to another city to see my brother. It was 48 hours of panic and stress.
That feeling when I returned and got back in my car and sank into the seat was unbelivable.

Another time I toured my own country a little. It was just the same shit everywhere. The same shops and everything just with different geography. I found it increasingly frustrating being unable to derive any satisfaction from it.

It put me off any travel. Or anything really. There's nothing out there is there?

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24425 No. 24425 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I was a NEET for most of my life, tried to get out of it several times with work, antidepressants or drugs. Right now Im again in a situation where Im basically forced to socialize and I guess Im about to just give it up for good. Its extremely exhausting to be in social situations and I never got the feeling of it becoming natural. I always thought being lonely and not liking social situations was just something that I developed due to my situation as a NEET. People can change after all and usually, after a few months, once they get used to it, adapt. Not so in my case and I really cant tell if its depression or simply how I am. I dont feel any form of improvements if it comes to my mood. I absolutely hate to get up by my alarmclock, having to talk to strangers and colleagues and getting home when its getting dark again. Its literal hell and all I do is living from weekend to weekend, sleeping most of the time between work and getting drunk. Ironically enough, it feels like its not the work thats exhausting, its the contact to other people. People keep saying thats its good for your mental health to be productive and around people, but its quite the opposite for me. I guess being lonely, for some, is both, what we love and hate the most. Right now I miss it but at the same time I still have it because I cant connect to people anyway. In a way Im still alone, the only difference is the fact that Im around people now. At least this situation finally made it clear that Im definitely a loner and my future goal is to find something where I can work while being alone. I gave up on trying to live a normal life.

Sorry for that random wall of text, I just wanted to get it out somewhere. And I think here on this board are the right people. I hope all of you one day find the happiness we are all searching for.
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>> No. 24453 [Edit]
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24453
I’m in sort of a similar boat. Don’t see any place for me in the system outside of working from home. I am going to try to balance freelance web design and art work patreon. I already got the web design education and a year of field experience (cringey, retarded experience, but experience) now I gotta grind the art skills. Thankfully I can stay at my parents place which saves so much money. Thanks mom.

But I have some real mental health issues fighting against this plan and they are winning right now. Unemployed and lying that I said I applied to places...just wasting time now.
>> No. 24507 [Edit]
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24507
I'm currently trying to figure it out some way to have an income doing work online. This "field" is so utterly filled with scams. Right now the most promising stuff I think I can do and it actually pays something is translation work, captioning and transcription. I've been rejected by three different online companies that hires freelance workers for captioning and transcription so far though. Another thing I'm looking into is teaching English online. It's all a terrible and exhausting process. The simple step of going to the bank and setting up an account makes my guts churn inside. Unfortunately there's no other way, it's this, flip burgers, be homeless, suicide or winning the lottery. I usually would have given up by now but this time I can no longer afford to pretend everything is fine.

Life is a dreadful business, what can you do..
>> No. 24514 [Edit]
>>24428
>>24429
I'm successful day-trading binary contracts. At the moment it's something anyone can make money with. A few hundred dollars is enough to start with.
>> No. 24533 [Edit]
I don’t know if you’re still here but there’s lots of online work from home stuff that can net you 40-50k a year. I am considering becoming a hermit and being a transcriptionist seems like a good way to generate income without leaving the bedroom. This is not an advertisement, so you’re gonna have to find stuff yourself but just be careful and do research when looking for at-home work.

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24460 No. 24460 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
They say people find their niche...they say keep trying and eventually things will work out...

But I am convinced there is truly no place for someone like me. Anything I could offer, someone else could do better, and without being a morose, miserable, despondent person.

I am at odds with the world. The world is at odds with me. Square peg round hole.

A stupid person who is just smart enough to realize how dumb they are...there is no use for someone like that. I wish a freak accident would take my life and free me from this prison existence.

Up until recently, I still had a little hope. But lately, I don’t see a future where I want to live, no matter what happens. There’s nothing for me and the people around me don’t get it. I have been broken by a life of emotional neglect. I can’t put the pieces back together by myself.

I’m sorry if this thread is a waste of your time.
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>> No. 24509 [Edit]
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24509
cute pic op
>> No. 24789 [Edit]
Hey, does anybody still care about this thread? Anyone still care about op? Anyone remember him? False compassion is crueler than genuine apathy because while one is fleeting, the other is consistent.
>> No. 24790 [Edit]
>>24789
> False compassion is crueler than genuine apathy
It's for this reason that I'm viscerally disgusted by posters (not on this site, thankfully, but on other imageboards) who feel like they're being helpful by telling people to "reach out" to them and offering platitudes of advice.

Almost always it's some outsider just wanders by the forum and sees these people struggling with life. For some reason this triggers an almost instinctual reaction to be a "leader" and by typing out some message of concern (I'm not sure they even realize that any compassion on their end is superficial) they can go on thinking that all is right with the world and they feel good thinking they've helped out some poor soul. It's even worse with the ones who leave behind some sort of contact information, since that offers a false glimmer of hope yet in reality the poster has no incentive to care.
>> No. 24791 [Edit]
>>24790
>I'm not sure they even realize that any compassion on their end is superficial
They don't. They're driven by feelings and instincts. Maybe it takes prolonged isolation and disappointment to realise that just like stangers don't care about you, you don't care about them. Without that you keep living in a delusion where of course somebody cares.

Pretending to be that person for a little bit maintains the illusion when something contradicts it. If they by some tiny chance remember the person they felt like "helping", they'll just assume somebody else picked up where they left off.

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24439 No. 24439 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Would you consider yourself ugly?

I was thinking before about the general consensus that the "pretty" people get ahead in life almost effortlessly, while the "ugly" people struggle. I've always considered myself resoundingly ugly in terms of appearance. I don't like anything about how I look and I've mostly just learned to not care too much about it, because I cant do much else. When I used to attend classes, people sometimes noted my androgynous features (thin nose, smaller jawline etc). Never in a way that suggested that it was good or bad, just that in the mandatory small-talk it was mentioned a couple of times. I observed that androgynous features like this are considered attractive in Japanese culture - when people said that about me, did they mean it in a good way or not? Maybe it was derisive, because whenever I encounter someone with alpha male status they have the exact opposite features.

I've never been granted any sort of special treatment, and in fact most people treat me like shit, so I have to assume that my culture doesn't regard these features highly enough to give me the pass that someone conventionally "handsome" would get. That, or the way I speak/act is so unusual that it offsets it. Would a total sperg with a runway model's face get ahead in life simply because of it? Similarly, can a 1/10 guy trick his way to the top with his other qualities? It also seems like the rule that pretty people succeed applies more to women than men, which is weird.

It's horribly unfair, being the only thing that the average person cant change about themselves (not counting people born into money who can have cosmetic surgery and cheat the system)
6 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24448 [Edit]
>>24443
I have those too. I'm probably not vain enough to do this, but the best way to get rid of the deep ones is dermabrasion where they remove a decent layer of skin from the area.
Talking of cosmetic "problems", I also have a missing tooth that doesn't look great. Again I don't want to do anything about it, but in a late capitalist service economy I can't help but be paranoid that one day it will be the difference between getting a job and sleeping on the street.
>> No. 24450 [Edit]
Do you have good dental health?
>> No. 24458 [Edit]
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24458
I have no fucking idea to be honest. My mom says I'm good looking and I don't see any particularly glaring flaws in my face, but no girl ever showed interest in me (thank god for that) and lots of people commented on how weird I look. Maybe it's just a posture thing, or maybe my mom is just too nice. All I know is, I've never been accepted into any group ever, friends or otherwise, and I'm an unemployed friendless highschool dropout virgin. I wouldn't change my looks for the world because that's just me, it's who I am. If nothing else, I do love myself and my own identity over the world.
>> No. 24505 [Edit]
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24505
Honestly I don't know, I think I'm probably just average. Never got insulted for being ugly or bad looking, but neither I have been praised for being handsome.

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24463 No. 24463 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
What is the meaning of life if you are not exceptional in any way, if you do not look exceptional, if you do not have exceptional talent, if you were not born in a unique place, you don't have any unique skills and you don't have a bigger goal in life?
4 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24491 [Edit]
>>24489
It's not commercialism if it costs nothing, is immaterial, and requires work to get. What's wrong with hedonism? Nobody simply exists. Every moment you stay alive, you're taking up the limited amount of usable energy in the universe. Trying to live up to higher ideals by rejecting "lowly pleasure seeking" is just a way to feel superior in the end. Nhilistic hedonism is here to stay whether it disgusts you or not. If it disgusts you, why aren't you disgusted by your own resource consuming existence?

Post edited on 28th Jul 2019, 4:07pm
>> No. 24494 [Edit]
>>24491
It's more about a desire to always be, accomplish, or obtain something more so you can pump up your ego and feel good about yourself. It makes a few problems in that you always need another rock on the mountain to climb. Should you stumble on your way up it's going to feel really awful to see yourself lose so much altitude when the top was "just in sight". And since we're flawed humans we'll inevitably get bored of the mountain and look for another one, look at the one we're standing on and wonder what the point of this mountain even was in the first place.

It's not that hedonistic pleasures are bad in and of themselves it's the attachment and regret that come with them. As an example I used to do art. It was fun for a while but eventually I got to where I had real trouble improving my work. "Me, the artist" I thought. So I kept on trying and trying. I grew resentful and developed a rather large degree of self-hatred as "the artist" wasn't even improving, let alone making something actually good. It wasn't until I learned to accept this limitation that I began to enjoy it again. It's not very good, but I enjoy doing it, and that's what matters. I've had similar experience with parts of my personality and other hobbies. One day I'll grow bored of my current interest and hobbies too, just like I have all others, I won't be exceptional at them, but that's okay.

It's unfortunate but we humans are very limited creatures. In a world of seven billion it's highly unlikely you'll be exceptional in any way. It's much easier to find a way to accept that than hoping you'll find a way to leave a mark on the world, right?

I'm probably not using the most technically correct words but I think you'll get the point I'm trying to make... It's somewhat of a defeatist way of looking at the world but I find it's the most realistic one and it's certainly helped me be much more content with my hand in life.
>> No. 24496 [Edit]
>>24494
I've dabbled in drawing and creative fields ever since I was a kid. While I'm lucky enough not to get bored of it yet, in many cases I get more and more twisted as I invent new plots and subplots, but I don't think that's uncommon among artists from the best to the worst. I still don't expect any major success but it's enough to keep me going for now with the wageslave working grind as well...
>> No. 24498 [Edit]
>>24494
Getting better at something isn't about leaving a mark on the world though. If you stopped progressing, there's probably a good reason for it which somebody with more experience than you could have pointed out if you asked.

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No. 24355 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Do you people get enough sleep and do you actually dream? If so, can you remember your dreams?

I personally rarely dream. I tried several lucid dreaming strategies, but none of them really showed any effect, even tough I would love to be able to use my dreams as a form of escapism.

I recall my last dream which felt really realistic and touching. I will now just share it here because, even though I dont think that dreams have a deeper meaning (to be honest, I also have not read up on this subject yet), I am interested in your thoughts on it.

I recall cycling on a road near my apartment, moving away from it. It was really late at night, probably around 1 AM or something. I was driving without lights and recall feeling the soft wind of a summer night on my skin, even though it was rather on the cold side. The most interesting detail I recall was the sky: One half of it (the left) was fild to the brimming with stars, way more than you would be able to see in an light-polluted modern city. The right on the other hand, was an empty void without any stars, and the border between these two regions was exactly above my head and had the highest density of stars. It was beautiful.

I am really sorry if this sounds like rambling. Thank you for reading.
5 posts and 1 image omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24366 [Edit]
>>24362
Silene Capensis works great for me, its a root that you consume twice a day that gives you more vivid dreams.
>> No. 24367 [Edit]
>>24358
>>24355
thanks for posting 3d
hhahaha that one you hid behind the spoiler was hilarious, who'd have expected someone to post 3d here? whatta card!
>> No. 24369 [Edit]
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>>24367
I wish I could dream 2D stuff all the time. Anyways, fixed it for you.
>> No. 24478 [Edit]
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24478
>>24364
What anon said, a dream journal is your best, most useful tool to have access to your dream world, dream retention, almost a necessity to train lucid dreaming as well. I've been keeping a dream journal on and off for many years now and recently I'm back at it again. I usually would write and draw my dreams but it can get time consuming when you're remembering 3 or 4 dreams each night. That's the reason I always end up quitting it. Now I'm back at it, I can't stop for long, it's like losing half of my life when I can't remember my dreams anymore.

One useful technique I don't see people mentioning often is organizing your dream if you can't pull yourself to actually wake up fully to write the dream down. What you want to do is tell yourself the dream you just had, organizing the pieces you remember, doing your best to transfer all that dream data over to an organized thought remembering everything over and over again. Even if you wake up hours later or decide to write down later instead of right when you wake up you'll remember a lot, most often all of it. Try to tell yourself the dream over and over again, don't let your mind float away from it, you may lose it forever if you do. After you tell yourself the same dream 3 or 4x you'll have memorized enought to actually write it down later.

Another thing I don't see many people mentioning are dream triggers. You know when you look at something that instantly makes you remember a dream you had? Use that, try to come up with a system. If you're trying to remember a dream, try to trigger yourself by lookig at pictures of animals, plants, people, places, try to remember what you did the day before or the stuff you watched or how you felt that week. You would be surprised how these triggers are not that difficult to find. Just today I was trying to remember a dream and by touching my nose against a window and breathing on the glass, a whole dream scene triggered for me. It's fascinating and satisfying at the same time.

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24394 No. 24394 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
girls r dumb
im posting juan punchman instead
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>> No. 24397 [Edit]
But fren, your filename refers to this chap as the famed Anime Guy, not Juan. There appears to have been a mix up.
>> No. 24398 [Edit]
If you liked Anonymous, you’ll love Derpanon! You never know what nutty things will go down when he’s posting! DERP!
>> No. 24409 [Edit]
Women are imbecile, yeah, insofar as women.
Move on.
>> No. 24415 [Edit]
>>24396
I, for one, welcome it. I just hope it doesn't become a meme word like "epic" did in the past couple of months.

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23605 No. 23605 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
I think there was a thread for this way back when, but whatever. Quotes that you like or keep you going in life.

“Only optimists commit suicide, optimists who no longer succeed at being optimists. The others, having no reason to live, why would they have any to die?”
-Emil Cioran
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>> No. 24022 [Edit]
Solitude, the true love that never let men down.
>> No. 24319 [Edit]
"It gets easier. Every day it gets a little easier. But you gotta do it every day. That’s the hard part. But it does get easier."

Thank you jogging baboon.
>> No. 24341 [Edit]
"Hell is other people" - Jean Paul Sartre
>> No. 24345 [Edit]
"Between grief and nothingness, I choose grief."

"When the alternative is nothingness, you may as well try."

The first one is from a book called Wild Palms the other is from an album by Amanda Palmer which just came out.

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23278 No. 23278 hide watch expand quickreply [Reply] [Edit]
Are you happy with your life?
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>> No. 24120 [Edit]
You know, I'm not really sure. On one hand there's days like today where I'm loving life but for every day like today it feels like there's three others where I'm either moping around or in an outright downer mood. I'm certainly less prone to destructive thinking than I was in the past but now it's different. I used to think I could fix all these things about myself but I don't think that anymore. I feel sluggish and defeated. But even then there's a certain freedom afforded by realizing that certain things I've struggled so hard with just can't be fixed. I think I'm becoming okay with that. If they really can't be fixed then it's something I'll be able to forgive myself for. After all if it'd take me a lifetime of work to sort out wouldn't I be better off cultivating good in some other area?

I'm a mess. Thanks for reading my blog.
>> No. 24310 [Edit]
Not at the moment no. It's nothing wrong with me per say, it's just that I hate our current society. We have reached a point in our society where talking like an illiterate dumbass is cool, and where your social status/worth is judged by how much you buy and what kind of clothes you wear (so basically and endless high school *shivers*). The internet used to be my escape from having to think about this, but nowadays, almost every community I was a part of has been overtaken by normalfags that treat it like social media by posting selfies and speaking in bix nood; and if it's not that, it's ironic fascists whining about politics. Not only is this shit annoying, but it's a constant reminder that our civilization is falling and will probably be replaced by China. The only way I can truly be happy is if I move out in the country, buy a hunting rifle and live off the land. That way, if our civilization falls, I will have nothing to worry about.
>> No. 24317 [Edit]
Nope. It's impossible for me since I haven't even remotely achieved anything I want to. If people define their own happiness, then mine involves achieving things like the independence and job I want. I can't be happy in the moment, unless I know I have accomplished at least one of these important goals. Although I admit, I scrutinize myself like a perfectionist like that, so I probably still wouldn't be...But there's nothing for me to be happy about if I'm still stuck in this jobless, lonely, financially dependent, starting to take twice as long to graduate college than most people, kind of hell.
>> No. 24329 [Edit]
My viewpoint is that life is both meaningless and worthwhile, so yes.

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